Not to provide childcare

[Fluffyfluffs]

I have 1 DS who’s about to start full time school in September.

Since my DS was born, I have had very little help with childcare. We’ve spent a fortune reducing hours, paying nursery fees and DH and I have managed reasonably well to juggle things.

Im a civil servant and will be changing to working term time only from September.

I have one sister who has 4 children. 2 teens and 2 younger. My sister has always managed to work full time, has never had to pay for any childcare and has always relied on help from our parents, her in laws and whoever else will help her. Their joint income is a lot higher than ours.

She announced yesterday that she’s glad I’m going to be working termtime as it means she won’t have to worry about childcare in the school holidays.

I told her that I won’t be providing childcare during the school holidays and now she’s not speaking to me. Am I being mean?

Awful parenting.

I would agree to one day a week or til next morning if include a sleepover in the summer holidays but that's purely only if the cousins get along and would actually benefit from the time together. I would also expect sister to contribute financially to anything planned that is more than just playing in house/garden.

She can get fked though for full time free childcare. That isn't even fair on any of the kids to do that.

Omg this is one of cheekiest things I have ever heard. To expect you to look after 4 extra children for no money for them to both work full time.

I would ask her when she will be providing free childcare for your child.

Some of my friends look after their neices and nephew's but it's mutual so they both have 1 day off a week each x

I know it sounds harsh but she did choose to have four children then expect other people to look after them for free it sounds like

i know situations change job etc but you know if you can afford it by the second child at most

@Fluffyfluffs

She announced yesterday that she’s glad I’m going to be working termtime as it means she won’t have to worry about childcare in the school holidays.

I told her that I won’t be providing childcare during the school holidays and now she’s not speaking to me.

I've reread your OP and am still stunned at the super-entitlement of your sister who's planned to leech off you whilst her life is unaffected financially or otherwise. Stay strong OP - you made your sacrifices for your OWN family, not your sister's. 🌹

What is it with older sisters???

Definitely Not Being Unreasonable!! I had similar with my brother when I arranged reduced hours at work after mat leave. He said it would be great that his partner could take on more hours as I’ll be around to watch their child. He was quite offended when I told him I wasn’t reducing my household income so that he could increase his.