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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not go to the job interview because they accused me of lying

266 replies

Rabbitsea · 15/05/2023 20:13

I had a job interview booked recently, the day before my grandma passed away. I was really close to her and i would not have been great in the interview the next day.

I emailed and called prior explaining what had happened and if possible i would like to rearrange, they agreed all was fine. Rearranged for this Wednesday, but I got a call today saying, sorry to hear about your mother in law. I said it wasn’t my mother in law it was my grandma.

5 minutes later i got a call from the woman saying i’m sure you said it was your mother in law, you said you have to support your partner. I said no it’s my grandmother i don’t even had a partner. She replied and said no you said mother in law, we have recorded calls and if we listen back and you said mother in law the interview would be off the table.

At this point i was quite irritated and I felt upset that she would imply i would lie about losing my grandma. She ended the call saying will I actually turn up to the interview if all is okay? I feel like its not a good start to begin with

OP posts:
CrowningAround · 15/05/2023 20:14

How rude of them!! I would 100% not go to the interview unless you’re absolutely desperate for the job. Shameful of them

Dotcheck · 15/05/2023 20:15

I wouldn’t

Lostinplaces · 15/05/2023 20:16

I would call and ask them to listen to the recording and when they confirm you were telling the truth tell them to stick the interview up their arses.

SiblingFights · 15/05/2023 20:17

Bugger that. I wouldn't want to work for an organisation like that

Isthisexpected · 15/05/2023 20:18

Lostinplaces · 15/05/2023 20:16

I would call and ask them to listen to the recording and when they confirm you were telling the truth tell them to stick the interview up their arses.

This. But perhaps with a little more tact.

HolyFuckerRooney · 15/05/2023 20:18

I would go to the interview and if they bring it up say you'd be interested in hearing the recording with them
You don't have to accept any job but you don't have to accept being called a liar
I'm sorry for your loss and the added distress this must have caused

RelaxingClassics · 15/05/2023 20:18

Absolutely not. This is a HUGE red flag - can you imagine working for someone who thinks it's ok to treat people like this. What kind of organisation is it because I would also ask for their formal complaints procedure. As a senior manager I would want to know if this was happening in my organisation.

trampoline123 · 15/05/2023 20:18

So rude. Don't go, would you want to work with people like that? No, I doubt it.

Bumpinthenight · 15/05/2023 20:19

Sorry for your loss.

Can you go to the interview and take...
The funeral order of service
Death certificate
Photo of you and your grandma
Family tree

Then tell them to shove the job...

Hillrunning · 15/05/2023 20:19

I would make them confirm they were wrong, and only then turn it down. If you pull out first it will just confirm their belief.

I'd probably still interview, in the hope that I got the job and then could turn it down, because I am petty and would enjoy wasting their time.

Goodoccasionallypoor · 15/05/2023 20:20

They won't be a good employer so I wouldn't go to the interview unless I was desperate for a job.

OneMoreCookieMonster · 15/05/2023 20:21

I'd actually turn up for it, with proof. Not that you should need to prove yourself but to make them reevaluate, how they do deal with potential candidates.

Dealing with interviews myself I do have to admit that there alot of time wasters out there and outright liars. I do however, always try to give a candidate the benefit of a doubt in these situations. They may be having a bad run of time wasters and no shows.

They need to realise that life happens though and unfortunately, there are things out of your control and you did the right thing by asking to reschedule.

You probably wouldn't want to work there now anyway, with the culture that they are demonstrating.

Rabbitsea · 15/05/2023 20:21

It was the way she told me what I said. She was adamant that i said i needed to support my partner. Bizarre as i said nothing of the sort. I feel irritated but i’m not sure if its grief or justified.

Thank you for the kind words x

OP posts:
DojaPhat · 15/05/2023 20:22

This is a huge red flag if I ever saw one. Write them a curt and polite e-mail explaining you will not be attending the interview as a result of being accused of lying and the manner in which the miscommunication was dealt with by said woman. Highlight how unprofessional her conduct was, how it portrays the company in a negative light, shows how they manage sensitive issues with their employees etc etc... Really go for it in the e-mail.

If you go to the interview you risk being usurped somewhat, especially if the interview doesn't go well and you find yourself on the backfoot.

growgrowinggrown · 15/05/2023 20:23

Send a breezy email along the lines of

'good afternoon,
I just wanted to confirm after our phone conversation earlier if you've managed to listen back to my initial phonecall and confirm I wasn't lying about the passing of my grandmother so we can proceed with the interview as scheduled? Thanks'

Then obviously never work for such a shit organisation. This is your big red waving flag, do not entertain this bullshit.

stayathomer · 15/05/2023 20:23

Can you imagine this kind of crap if you called in sick etc? They sound ridiculous, definitely don’t bother- I’d say if you do you’ll be leaving within months

Didimum · 15/05/2023 20:24

I wouldn’t attend. It’s indicative of how they would behave in the workplace.

BallandBoe · 15/05/2023 20:24

I would be making a formal complaint about that woman, for a start.

Catlord · 15/05/2023 20:24

Unless you're desperate for work or the job would seriously elevate your CV (as in do it for 6 months and move on) then no way. I would submit a complaint over this.

If she'd had her suspicions, she could have checked the recording without telling you and then cancel if need be. This was bullying behaviour from management and doesn't bode well.

Sorry for your loss.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 15/05/2023 20:25

what I’d do:

Write to her boss to explain how appalling she’s behaved, lodge a subject access request for the call recording (so they can’t lie about what’s going on it) and tell them her behaviour showed more red flags than a communist parade so you dont think they’re somewhere anyone should work.

Sorry for your loss.

Emmelina · 15/05/2023 20:25

Not unreasonable at all. They’ve shown you exactly who they are and you haven’t even interviewed yet. Run!

mydoghasanattitude · 15/05/2023 20:31

That's awful of them. YANBU. People do sometimes lie about things like this, but that's no excuse for confronting someone in this way. Either they believe you or they don't! They could easily have checked the call without raising it with you. Now they've lost a potential hire and made themselves look horrible.

I'd feel like complaining to the company. This person isn't helping their image and needs to be corrected.

Doyoumind · 15/05/2023 20:34

Pretty certain the phone call won't have been recorded anyway and she's bullshitting. Did they say they were recording the call when you rang?

Maray1967 · 15/05/2023 20:37

Lostinplaces · 15/05/2023 20:16

I would call and ask them to listen to the recording and when they confirm you were telling the truth tell them to stick the interview up their arses.

Yes, this. Make them admit they were wrong. Emphasise that this was a beloved grandmother’s death they have accused you of lying about. And then tell them that if this is how the staff behave you have no wish to join the company.

Maray1967 · 15/05/2023 20:38

And yes, report this behaviour to senior management.