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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go to the job interview because they accused me of lying

266 replies

Rabbitsea · 15/05/2023 20:13

I had a job interview booked recently, the day before my grandma passed away. I was really close to her and i would not have been great in the interview the next day.

I emailed and called prior explaining what had happened and if possible i would like to rearrange, they agreed all was fine. Rearranged for this Wednesday, but I got a call today saying, sorry to hear about your mother in law. I said it wasn’t my mother in law it was my grandma.

5 minutes later i got a call from the woman saying i’m sure you said it was your mother in law, you said you have to support your partner. I said no it’s my grandmother i don’t even had a partner. She replied and said no you said mother in law, we have recorded calls and if we listen back and you said mother in law the interview would be off the table.

At this point i was quite irritated and I felt upset that she would imply i would lie about losing my grandma. She ended the call saying will I actually turn up to the interview if all is okay? I feel like its not a good start to begin with

OP posts:
CelestiaNoctis · 16/05/2023 21:56

I would tell them exactly why you won't be attending their interview. As you think being accused of lying during grieving for your dead grandmother is a horrible start to a relationship. I'm sorry that happened to you. She should get in trouble for sure.

Dummycrusher · 16/05/2023 22:53

The woman was a dick, but what role was she? If she was a bored receptionist/temp then I'd do the interview because she might not really represent the company as a whole. If it was a manager or somebody you would be working with then definitely sack it off.

TheCrystalPalace · 16/05/2023 23:02

I mean, let's face it. Who is more likely to have made the error here? Probably not the OP, the one whose beloved grandparent died.

SW2002 · 17/05/2023 00:18

I'd tell them to listen to their tapes and call you back.

When they call you back and admit they got it wrong I'd make the arrangements to go for interview, then not go.

If they chase up as to why you didn't make it tell them they sound like a shitty organisation to work for so you decided against it.

If they're behaving like this now, what are they going to be like when they've got your signature on a contract!!??

LemonjeIIo · 17/05/2023 00:57

mydoghasanattitude · 15/05/2023 20:31

That's awful of them. YANBU. People do sometimes lie about things like this, but that's no excuse for confronting someone in this way. Either they believe you or they don't! They could easily have checked the call without raising it with you. Now they've lost a potential hire and made themselves look horrible.

I'd feel like complaining to the company. This person isn't helping their image and needs to be corrected.

Find their company online and complain higher up the tree, naming names of course

Achwheesht · 17/05/2023 02:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Everanewbie · 17/05/2023 08:55

I really understand the feeling of wanting to 'win' the argument by either not going or sounding off when you get there. But you'd really be cutting your nose off to spite your face. The interviewer/manager may even know the person you spoke to and laugh about how batty she is. Feelings are raw at the moment, but I'd be reluctant to slam the door to what could turn out to be a great opportunity based on this.

If you get the job, I'd discuss with your immediate manager how the person made you feel, and if you don't get it, I'd still make the point in an email or something.

Macinae · 17/05/2023 09:32

Red flag.

Send an email to say you're no longer interested in the position as you don't feel it's the right fit for you in terms of workplace culture.

DoeRayMe · 17/05/2023 19:08

This thread needs an update.

Did she or didn't she Wink

Ellyess · 18/05/2023 10:26

Definitely make them play the phone call in front of you.

I was bullied at work. The ultimate was when The Boss accused me of lying when I said they did not ask me permission to use my proposal for my research, just phoned and said they'd got funding. He said. "Of course you signed the form." I knew I hadn't so just said so, calmly. Eventually he got up, slowly walked past me - too closely - and slowly, deliberately menacingly, in silence got the forms from the filing cabinet. I sat in silence. He walked back slowly and sat and turned to the right page and - his shoulders visibly dropped several inches and he let out an 'OOOH!' and said 'you didn't sign it.' He then tried to say it made no difference. No difference? I lost a good salary, a good PhD and nearly had a breakdown. I had to leave my children to travel on a terrible journey and their father had just died. He knew this. What they did was theft. I did not know my rights at the time.

Yes - call their bluff - go there and make them play the recording. You could keep the interview and tell them to have the recording available for it. Then tell them where to put their job.

Oh and phone calls - I was phoned from the GP Surgery who said, "Your Mental Health appointment is on...." I said I had no knowledge that I had a mental health appointment, nobody, least of all a Doctor, had said anything about it and I didn't have any symptoms needing one. She said it was written on the computer by another Assistant. I repeated I'd never heard of this. She went and asked a Doctor, and sure enough it was merely a routine check because after a thyroid operation I need a thyroxine check and follow-up.

Who knows what mistakes people make, and what they write about us that is completely wrong, but we never find out?!

Socktupus · 18/05/2023 16:57

The OP said on Monday that the woman has already said there isn't a recording.

whittingtonmum · 18/05/2023 17:29

It's really crazy what goes on in some places. You did absolutely the right thing OP. Sorry for your loss.

Ellyess · 19/05/2023 12:38

Socktupus · 18/05/2023 16:57

The OP said on Monday that the woman has already said there isn't a recording.

I'm so sorry - I read all the OP's posts so why I did not see this I have no Idea. My apologies.
I am so sorry for you OP. These people are scum.

whynotwhatknot · 19/05/2023 15:08

she was still accusing you of lying then

i woldnt go anywhere near them

Marytattoo · 20/05/2023 16:58

People, be careful in these situations. Don't let your temper get the best of you because HR people belong to networks and can/will tell stories about interviewees who piss them off. YOU will be badmouthed. Also, when you are talking to the company on the phone, be sure to treat the person on the other line as though they are the HR director. They actually could be. Or, the secretary could report how they were treated. I worked in HR for many years. If I was sick, at lunch, etc, various people including the HR Director answered my phone. Another story. Once, in my non-work world, I was in a group. People were talking about their bosses. I'd had a previous boss who was difficult. I almost talked about her, but didn't. I later was casually chatting with a woman I'd not met before. It turns out she was the niece of the boss I'd almost talked about. It's not always clear when bridges are being burned.

Usernamebilly · 20/05/2023 21:09

Marytattoo · 20/05/2023 16:58

People, be careful in these situations. Don't let your temper get the best of you because HR people belong to networks and can/will tell stories about interviewees who piss them off. YOU will be badmouthed. Also, when you are talking to the company on the phone, be sure to treat the person on the other line as though they are the HR director. They actually could be. Or, the secretary could report how they were treated. I worked in HR for many years. If I was sick, at lunch, etc, various people including the HR Director answered my phone. Another story. Once, in my non-work world, I was in a group. People were talking about their bosses. I'd had a previous boss who was difficult. I almost talked about her, but didn't. I later was casually chatting with a woman I'd not met before. It turns out she was the niece of the boss I'd almost talked about. It's not always clear when bridges are being burned.

I agree with this!

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