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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not go to the job interview because they accused me of lying

266 replies

Rabbitsea · 15/05/2023 20:13

I had a job interview booked recently, the day before my grandma passed away. I was really close to her and i would not have been great in the interview the next day.

I emailed and called prior explaining what had happened and if possible i would like to rearrange, they agreed all was fine. Rearranged for this Wednesday, but I got a call today saying, sorry to hear about your mother in law. I said it wasn’t my mother in law it was my grandma.

5 minutes later i got a call from the woman saying i’m sure you said it was your mother in law, you said you have to support your partner. I said no it’s my grandmother i don’t even had a partner. She replied and said no you said mother in law, we have recorded calls and if we listen back and you said mother in law the interview would be off the table.

At this point i was quite irritated and I felt upset that she would imply i would lie about losing my grandma. She ended the call saying will I actually turn up to the interview if all is okay? I feel like its not a good start to begin with

OP posts:
lookingforchangenowww · 16/05/2023 19:19

This is a God sent sign to run away from this freak !!!

be grateful that you had this happening OP.
sounds like my manager.

lol

SunsetBeauregarde · 16/05/2023 19:23

I would respond:

’part of any interview process is the candidate figuring out whether the company is a good fit and someone they want to work for. Unfortunately, the handling of my reasonable request to rearrange my interview after the death of my grandmother has thrown into sharp relief that your company culture does not meet my expectations. Thank you for my inclusion in the process so far and I hope when you listen back to the phone recording, you take the opportunity to reflect on the damage such an unnecessary confrontation could has on your reputation as a business. I’ll be forwarding a copy of this email and previous conversations to XXXX (most senior email address you can get your hands on).

thanks,

XXXXX

Luredbyapomegranate · 16/05/2023 19:38

I wouldn’t. And I would write to the MD and head of HR and tell them why.

Luredbyapomegranate · 16/05/2023 19:39

SunsetBeauregarde · 16/05/2023 19:23

I would respond:

’part of any interview process is the candidate figuring out whether the company is a good fit and someone they want to work for. Unfortunately, the handling of my reasonable request to rearrange my interview after the death of my grandmother has thrown into sharp relief that your company culture does not meet my expectations. Thank you for my inclusion in the process so far and I hope when you listen back to the phone recording, you take the opportunity to reflect on the damage such an unnecessary confrontation could has on your reputation as a business. I’ll be forwarding a copy of this email and previous conversations to XXXX (most senior email address you can get your hands on).

thanks,

XXXXX

Honestly don’t do any of this.

Just write to the MD and Head of HR. Why give this woman warning?

strawberryFforever · 16/05/2023 19:45

Still go and decide after that.

You can't blame them for confusing you with one of the other candidates who dropped out due to a bereavement that day.

I don't know why but it happens all the time. Usually the Grandmother

(Cynical recruitment person speaking)

IndyMamaRex · 16/05/2023 19:45

Tell them to listen back & when they apologise then tell them you will not be attending interview as this experience has shown you what it would be like to work for that company & you would prefer somewhere that understands professionalism. Good day, hang up then I’d email to make a formal complaint

TempyBrennan · 16/05/2023 19:46

Hillrunning · 15/05/2023 20:19

I would make them confirm they were wrong, and only then turn it down. If you pull out first it will just confirm their belief.

I'd probably still interview, in the hope that I got the job and then could turn it down, because I am petty and would enjoy wasting their time.

Sadly… this is also me… 😂

PoseyFlump · 16/05/2023 19:49

No wonder they are in need of decent staff!

strawberryFforever · 16/05/2023 20:10

Go or don't go but dont waste your life writing complaints and asking for evidence etc

Just move on with your life. The person made a
Mistake ajd confused you with someone else

Some people on this thread seem to relish conflict and overreact

Sorry for your loss

OhwhyOY · 16/05/2023 20:17

What did you say to them OP?

ThreeRingCircus · 16/05/2023 20:20

Someone higher up needs to know that she's acting like this and actively putting candidates off the company. It's really damaging for a business and their reputation, as a manager I would definitely want to know. Therefore I'd be emailing Head of HR/CEO/hiring manager or whoever's email I could get my hands on calmly stating:

Being accused of lying has made a painful time of your life more distressing.

That the attitude of this woman has shown this is not a company that values people.

That they're in tricky waters recording telephone conversations without the consent of the people being recorded (I think she's talking crap about recording phone calls but would want senior managers to know what she'd said.)

Emotionalsupportviper · 16/05/2023 20:21

Isthisexpected · 15/05/2023 20:18

This. But perhaps with a little more tact.

This, but exactly those words!

(Unless you work in one of those really intensive, almost incestuous industries where everybody knows everybody else).

MightyFishwife · 16/05/2023 20:22

So sorry for your loss, OP, and the way you’ve been treated x

motherofawhirlwind · 16/05/2023 20:32

I wouldn't go to the interview but make sure they've reviewed the tape beforehand and apologised to you.

But, in their defence, I get at least 1 granny dying and 1 child in hospital excuse a week for people wanting to delay. Easy to get jaded but she shouldn't have raised that with you in that way.

I'm sorry for your loss.

EstherGreenwood19 · 16/05/2023 20:40

I’d have to turn up to the interview and say something, that’s appalling.

someoneisalwaysintheloo · 16/05/2023 20:40

I'm curious as to what type of job this was for?

Emotionalsupportviper · 16/05/2023 20:48

EstherGreenwood19 · 16/05/2023 20:40

I’d have to turn up to the interview and say something, that’s appalling.

Such as "Where's my effing apology for calling me a liar?" ?

Emdubz · 16/05/2023 20:49

Very sorry for your loss first of all.

Definitely email the hiring manager and above. If you email the woman who can’t admit she was wrong she’ll only lie again about why you aren’t attending.

I’d be ruminating on this for weeks if it was me and I didn’t address it although I’m sure your mind is elsewhere, understandably.

If I’m honest I’m still annoyed over things that happened nearly 30 years ago that I didn’t address at the time so I wouldn’t let this opportunity go 😁

EstherGreenwood19 · 16/05/2023 21:09

Emotionalsupportviper · 16/05/2023 20:48

Such as "Where's my effing apology for calling me a liar?" ?

Exactly this! Absolute fuckers.

grumpycow1 · 16/05/2023 21:19

Hillrunning · 15/05/2023 20:19

I would make them confirm they were wrong, and only then turn it down. If you pull out first it will just confirm their belief.

I'd probably still interview, in the hope that I got the job and then could turn it down, because I am petty and would enjoy wasting their time.

This 🤣

Viviennemary · 16/05/2023 21:19

It's a shame but the trouble is there are so many chancers out there who have an excuse for everything. But all the same quite unprofessional of them to behave in this way.

sonearly · 16/05/2023 21:32

Massive red flag, don't go, and if they ask why tell them you got a phone call while grieving accusing you of lying about it, and it was so far beneath a basic level of human respect you would literally not trust them to walk a dog.

Really don't work for cunty people if you get to find out ahead of time.

Oblomov23 · 16/05/2023 21:34

Email her back, that there was no confusion, she accused you of being a liar. And that you won't be attending the interview because of that. cc in hiring manager who is impressed with your cv.

Lulakuka · 16/05/2023 21:34

You said you emailed as well as called. Forward your original email to her. Never mind the ‘recorded’ phone call, you have it in writing that it was your grandmother

Soapyspuds · 16/05/2023 21:55

Well done OP. It sounds like that person will get an bollocking from the hiring manager. They should know when to just apologise and leave it at that.