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Original poster

To not go to the job interview because they accused me of lying

266 replies

Rabbitsea · 15/05/2023 20:13

I had a job interview booked recently, the day before my grandma passed away. I was really close to her and i would not have been great in the interview the next day.

I emailed and called prior explaining what had happened and if possible i would like to rearrange, they agreed all was fine. Rearranged for this Wednesday, but I got a call today saying, sorry to hear about your mother in law. I said it wasn’t my mother in law it was my grandma.

5 minutes later i got a call from the woman saying i’m sure you said it was your mother in law, you said you have to support your partner. I said no it’s my grandmother i don’t even had a partner. She replied and said no you said mother in law, we have recorded calls and if we listen back and you said mother in law the interview would be off the table.

At this point i was quite irritated and I felt upset that she would imply i would lie about losing my grandma. She ended the call saying will I actually turn up to the interview if all is okay? I feel like its not a good start to begin with

OP posts:
DannyZukosSmile · 15/05/2023 22:56

Rabbitsea · 15/05/2023 22:19

Thank you everyone for your condolences. I did email using what @MissBPotter said so thank you for that.

Surprisingly i got an email back stating it was a miscommunication on her part, she is very sorry, although calls are recorded. My initial phone call wasn’t…….She still said she is sure i said it was my mother in law.

The hiring manager is very impressed with my CV and is really keen to meet me….

It has left a bad taste in my mouth and its not a job i am desperate for

@Rabbitsea

Gosh, what an extraordinary coincidence. The only phone call that wasn't recorded that day and that week - and probably this year so far, is the one that would have proved you were telling the truth. Hmm What an absolute bunch of fucking twats. I'm glad you decided to kick this company to the kerb. Good luck in all that you do. I hope you get a much better job soon. And I haven't said this yet......, I'm really sorry, about your grandmother. Flowers

DannyZukosSmile · 15/05/2023 22:58

toodlesofoodles · 15/05/2023 22:00

Was just coming to say as a hiring manager that I would absolutely reschedule if I could. No one is going to interview well the day after finding out about the death of someone they care about and that person could be the asset I'm looking for. I want to give people every chance possible to interview well so I hire the best people.

Show quote history

😘 You sounds like a lovely person to work for! Smile

DunkingMyDonuts · 15/05/2023 22:59

@iklboo exactly my thought too! She knows she has made a mistake so is trying the "miscommunication" excuse. Next she will be saying "we will agree to disagree, and move on"
As if you would miscommunicate that it was your non-existent MiL, instead of your grandmother.

midlifecrash · 15/05/2023 23:09

OP haven’t read the whole thread, but I think if you would like the job, interview. There can be complete idiots in HR, but that might not impinge on your job at all. Example- I was on a panel myself and we were told one candidate was late. But I knew she wasn’t because I had seen her in reception, HR had screwed up their pre interview test timings.

caringcarer · 15/05/2023 23:10

I'm sure you would not enjoy working with colleagues like that.

caringcarer · 15/05/2023 23:11

Divebar2021 · 15/05/2023 21:15

This is how they treat someone who doesn’t even work for their organisation. Imagine how they treat their employees

This

TheOhGodOfHangovers · 15/05/2023 23:13

So now she’s put in writing that she thinks you are lying?

WhatsitWiggle · 15/05/2023 23:16

Sorry for your loss OP

Is there any way you can email the hiring manager to explain why you won't be attending? Otherwise I feel the HR lady is going to make up some bullshit reason that won't reflect well on you.

Womencanlift · 15/05/2023 23:23

Good for you for deciding not to go. While you probably wouldn’t interact with the recruiting team when you are employed, they do set the tone of the company so attitudes like hers is a reflection on the general culture.

However do you have a name of the hiring manager that you could contact them directly either by email or even LinkedIn? I have been a hiring manager in the past and had issues with the HR recruiting team booking in interviews and not telling me and/or the candidate, not telling candidates the feedback from the interview etc. I would want to know if they were causing issues. So if you can contact them I would to say while you have decided not to continue with the application, you wanted to provide this feedback to avoid similar issues with other candidates in the future

marblemad · 15/05/2023 23:25

They also have to make you aware they are recording the call before you call in, if you've called the number you were given and weren't told it was recording etc then that is illegal. But regardless, the company is lying and have no decorum- as above have said request a copy of the recording under freedom of information request in writing as per guidelines and they have to provide it to you.

sillyonehetpes · 15/05/2023 23:39

Bumpinthenight · 15/05/2023 20:19

Sorry for your loss.

Can you go to the interview and take...
The funeral order of service
Death certificate
Photo of you and your grandma
Family tree

Then tell them to shove the job...

100% do this!

Ihatepickingausername3 · 15/05/2023 23:56

No I wouldn’t go! I’d politely tell them to shove it.

Isthisreasonable · 15/05/2023 23:57

IAteAllTheTomatoes · 15/05/2023 21:06

I think it depends on how much you want the job and who this lady actually is.

Is she in the HR department and you are applying for a role she may have wanted. Maybe someone she knows is her choice and she's trying to eliminate the competition. The people interviewing you and that you are working with might be very disgusted if they knew this is how she spoke to you.

One asshole doesn't mean thry are all the same.

This

MacarenaMacarena · 16/05/2023 00:17

I'd go for the interview practice, then tell them at the end when they ask if you have any questions. Depends a lot on management response to possibly a rude receptionist how I might react if offered the job!

Smineusername · 16/05/2023 00:30

Go get your job OP.

This woman means nothing and is nobody. Shine your light.

Mangotango39 · 16/05/2023 00:38

No way in hell would I go!
Steange woman can you imagine working with her - bet she's a nightmare.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 16/05/2023 00:42

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 15/05/2023 20:25

what I’d do:

Write to her boss to explain how appalling she’s behaved, lodge a subject access request for the call recording (so they can’t lie about what’s going on it) and tell them her behaviour showed more red flags than a communist parade so you dont think they’re somewhere anyone should work.

Sorry for your loss.

I would do this too.

Allblackeverythingalways · 16/05/2023 01:01

Lostinplaces · 15/05/2023 20:16

I would call and ask them to listen to the recording and when they confirm you were telling the truth tell them to stick the interview up their arses.

This.
Interviews go both ways.
I've told a CF potential employer to GFY (in a slightly more polite, but angry way)
It's going to be an awful, toxic environment to work in. That interviewer sounds like an utter fuckwit. You'll dodge a bullet if you tell them to stick it.

Startyabastard · 16/05/2023 01:10

Nothing surprises me with the job centre any more. They treat people terribly and frequently lie. I'm sorry for your loss

queenofthesoi · 16/05/2023 01:39

Disgusting behaviour, especially dealign with someone with a recent bereavement.
If I desperately needed a job, I'd probably go to the interview but would definitely be looking for something else immediately as this does not bode well for the type of employer they will be.

MaryBeery · 16/05/2023 01:49

I can see a circumstance where it would be unreasonable, which is basically if you were unemployed and claiming benefit, as there's a good chance the job centre would use your refusal to interview as a reason to sanction you. Otherwise, as someone upthread said, interviews are as much about you deciding if you want to work for them, as much as whether they want you, so if they've put you off then you don't need to force yourself to go, particularly when you're grieving. Even if it wasn't your hiring manager that treated you like a liar but someone from HR, there's still a reasonable chance that you may have to deal with them in terms of sorting out your contract if you get the job, and leave, pay rise or sickness issues later. If you've already booked the day off work for the interview, use the time to do something nice for yourself instead.

HighHedges · 16/05/2023 02:00

Not sure if it makes a difference if this reflects a toxic culture, but was it someone senior who you spoke to? It might be the case that someone high up would also be outraged at this behaviour.

(If I decided not to go, I'd consider naming and shaming on social media - petty I realise!)

poetryandwine · 16/05/2023 02:02

So, OP, you have it in writing from this idiot woman that the company records calls without the caller’s knowledge? Interesting..,,,,

You could take that to the CAB and find out how one reports it, if you wanted to follow up.

DoingBugStuff · 16/05/2023 02:15

I would be so annoyed about this I don’t think I could bring myself to go. Sorry for your loss

Lizzy1980 · 16/05/2023 02:33

How convenient that on this occasion your call was not recorded. Funny that isn’t it 🙄 This was the last thing you needed whilst you’re grieving for your Grandmother