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Original poster

To not go to the job interview because they accused me of lying

266 replies

Rabbitsea · 15/05/2023 20:13

I had a job interview booked recently, the day before my grandma passed away. I was really close to her and i would not have been great in the interview the next day.

I emailed and called prior explaining what had happened and if possible i would like to rearrange, they agreed all was fine. Rearranged for this Wednesday, but I got a call today saying, sorry to hear about your mother in law. I said it wasn’t my mother in law it was my grandma.

5 minutes later i got a call from the woman saying i’m sure you said it was your mother in law, you said you have to support your partner. I said no it’s my grandmother i don’t even had a partner. She replied and said no you said mother in law, we have recorded calls and if we listen back and you said mother in law the interview would be off the table.

At this point i was quite irritated and I felt upset that she would imply i would lie about losing my grandma. She ended the call saying will I actually turn up to the interview if all is okay? I feel like its not a good start to begin with

OP posts:
yourenottheboss · 15/05/2023 21:11

Is send a message similar to this:

"Thank you for your call.

Unfortunately I no longer wish to attend the interview as I was questioned (and not believed) about the death of my grandmother.

Initially I had been really interested in the role and I feel that I would have been a huge asset".

NeedToChangeName · 15/05/2023 21:12

MB is full of keyboard warriors pitching for a fight

In real life, I'd recommend caution. You might come across this company in future if they are clients of your employers

daretodenim · 15/05/2023 21:13

I think I'd send an email:

Dear X
Thank you for agreeing to move the interview following the death of my grandmother.

Following our subsequent interaction I wish to withdraw my application. Since being twice called a liar regarding my grandmother's death, I have lost my enthusiasm to work with [company name]. If this is how potential employees are treated, I can only assume that your employees are not valued.

I encourage you to listen to the recording you said you have of our conversation. In case there is any further doubt, please find attached my grandmother's death notice/order of service (anything).

Yours,

And CC the head of HR and the CEO/owner or head of company.

Divebar2021 · 15/05/2023 21:15

This is how they treat someone who doesn’t even work for their organisation. Imagine how they treat their employees

CastleTurrets · 15/05/2023 21:15

I'd lodge a formal complaint with her boss and put an honest review up on Glassdoor to warn future applicants!

Don't expect much in the way of response though. When I was previously job hunting I got SERIOUSLY messed around by one company. They asked me to complete an online task within one week however it didn't make sense and was clearly flung together with little to no thought. For example, there was a 90 minute video with questions and one vague question referred to time that literally didn't exist on the video (it wasn't long enough!) so I contacted them for clarification. I got an apology email back and was told they'd confirm the correct timing. Meanwhile they changed my interview day/time THREE times at short notice.

It go to the night before the interview (when the task was due) and I sent a polite email explaining that I would not be attending the interview as I couldn't complete the task on time (it was 10pm at this point and interview was 9am the next morning) despite me flagging the issue ONE WEEK prior and I mentioned being messed around with interview days/times.

I got a curt reply from the HR persons boss explaining that the HR person I was dealing with was "extremely busy" and "only worked part time" and given I clearly "couldn't cope with keeping up with their pace" that it was "probably for the best that I cancelled". Well at that point I was furious. I sent a further email telling them what I thought of them (but in a professional tone) and I got an apology back. However it still irks me thinking about it!

custardbear · 15/05/2023 21:15

Goodness that's so awful of the person who called. Is this a faceless HR person or someone you'd work alongside/for?
So sorry for your loss

Outofthepark · 15/05/2023 21:17

OP you've had a lucky escape. Don't go to the interview because the place sounds hideous. But insist they listen back to their calls, to understand how very insensitive and awful they've been.

RelaxingClassics · 15/05/2023 21:17

NeedToChangeName · 15/05/2023 21:12

MB is full of keyboard warriors pitching for a fight

In real life, I'd recommend caution. You might come across this company in future if they are clients of your employers

There is a difference between alerting an organisation to a member of staff who is behaving extremely unprofessionally and deterring potentially brilliant people from applying to work there and pitching for a fight.

I NEED to know if stuff like this is happening in my workplace because ultimately I am responsible for the culture and the reputation of the organisation. If I don't know I can't fix it.

RufustheSpecuIatingreindeer · 15/05/2023 21:17

MB is full of keyboard warriors pitching for a fight

not a fight

i don’t appreciate being called a liar and would without question request a copy of the recorded call or an apology

where i used to work called me a liar regarding something to do with tax so I reported them to HMRC in order to get clarification

I wouldn’t necessarily be rude but I’d absolutely take it further

peedoffnow · 15/05/2023 21:17

thats shocking….I would go for the interview and hopefully they offer you the job and I would take great delight in declining and telling them you can’t imagine working for a company that treats prospective employees in that manner, so god only knows how they treat their actual employees…then I would walk out with a smile on my face and my head held high x

DannyZukosSmile · 15/05/2023 21:20

OMG how rude of them. Shock Would NOT want to work for them now ... Nope.

DannyZukosSmile · 15/05/2023 21:20

@Rabbitsea Don't go to the interview.

Spiderboy · 15/05/2023 21:21

Reject the interview and ask to speak to their supervisor

purpleme12 · 15/05/2023 21:21

Lostinplaces · 15/05/2023 20:16

I would call and ask them to listen to the recording and when they confirm you were telling the truth tell them to stick the interview up their arses.

Absolutely this. Cos I'd want to be proved right 🤣

FictionalCharacter · 15/05/2023 21:22

Lostinplaces · 15/05/2023 20:16

I would call and ask them to listen to the recording and when they confirm you were telling the truth tell them to stick the interview up their arses.

Yep. But without the arses. Instead I’d say “You owe me an apology for accusing me of lying, and I hope you’ll think twice about making accusations like this in future “.

Fandabedodgy · 15/05/2023 21:25

You can't work there that's appalling behaviour.

But please don't let it lie. Complain. Subject access request.

Don't give her the satisfaction of believing she was right but not turning up or pulling out.

Mostar · 15/05/2023 21:25

CastleTurrets · 15/05/2023 21:15

I'd lodge a formal complaint with her boss and put an honest review up on Glassdoor to warn future applicants!

Don't expect much in the way of response though. When I was previously job hunting I got SERIOUSLY messed around by one company. They asked me to complete an online task within one week however it didn't make sense and was clearly flung together with little to no thought. For example, there was a 90 minute video with questions and one vague question referred to time that literally didn't exist on the video (it wasn't long enough!) so I contacted them for clarification. I got an apology email back and was told they'd confirm the correct timing. Meanwhile they changed my interview day/time THREE times at short notice.

It go to the night before the interview (when the task was due) and I sent a polite email explaining that I would not be attending the interview as I couldn't complete the task on time (it was 10pm at this point and interview was 9am the next morning) despite me flagging the issue ONE WEEK prior and I mentioned being messed around with interview days/times.

I got a curt reply from the HR persons boss explaining that the HR person I was dealing with was "extremely busy" and "only worked part time" and given I clearly "couldn't cope with keeping up with their pace" that it was "probably for the best that I cancelled". Well at that point I was furious. I sent a further email telling them what I thought of them (but in a professional tone) and I got an apology back. However it still irks me thinking about it!

You had to watch a 90 minute video? FFS what are these people on? Do they think job hunters have nothing better to do? And then to say it was probably best you cancelled? Holy cow. Don't you need some sort of qualification to be an HR person or can you just get in with a certain amount of Nectar points or something?

DannyZukosSmile · 15/05/2023 21:26

MissBPotter · 15/05/2023 20:57

I wouldn’t attend. I would find your original email
and forward it to them saying something like - ‘Following our conversation yesterday I wanted to confirm that it was in fact my beloved grandma that has died and not my mother in law as x claimed I had said. I find the manner in which x called my integrity in to question to be unprofessional and I
no longer feel inclined to attend the interview, based on the phone call we had. It was obvious that x was not going to listen to me and for her to threaten me in that manner when I am still grieving, was uncalled for. I thank you for your time and wish you the best with filling this vacancy: but this is not the role for me.

Kind regards,

….

100% send this @Rabbitsea Maybe it will reach someone different/higher up, and little miss cheeky fucker will get a bollocking for being a bitch. Give it a go. Send it to an higher manager/director.

McChocolateDoughnut · 15/05/2023 21:27

It's not your grief - it's them. And it's appalling. Really appalling.

I wouldn't waste my time going for an interview but I would absolutely email the senior management and state simply the conversation and that you would not work for a company who treated employees and potential employees in such a heartless, incompetent and inappropriate way.

HoleyShit · 15/05/2023 21:30

Lostinplaces · 15/05/2023 20:16

I would call and ask them to listen to the recording and when they confirm you were telling the truth tell them to stick the interview up their arses.

Definitely this. Perhaps not phrased quite like that but you get the gist!

thoughtsofmoog3 · 15/05/2023 21:35

Bit of context would help - if this is a big company and that was a temp and it was a decent job, then I'd ignore it for now and attend the interview.

If it is a job you're a bit 'meh' about, and this will be someone you share an office with, then I wouldn't bother.

That said, I once started working with a woman I thought was an absolute witch - ended up being one of the nicest people I ever met - there was a genuine backstory to her initial sourness.

SarahSmith2023 · 15/05/2023 21:35

Youdoyoubabe · 15/05/2023 20:54

It is a bit rude but to be honest most employers wouldn’t progress an application with someone who couldn’t interview due to extended family death. It is sad but people die all the time and work has to continue.

up to you if you progress it or not.

Oh aren't you all heart.

'people' die all the time, but one specific person only dies once.

work has to carry on 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Your assertion that 'most employers...' is 💩

Puppers · 15/05/2023 21:35

Youdoyoubabe · 15/05/2023 20:54

It is a bit rude but to be honest most employers wouldn’t progress an application with someone who couldn’t interview due to extended family death. It is sad but people die all the time and work has to continue.

up to you if you progress it or not.

Only the very worst employers (and sadly there are more than there should be) expect human beings to behave like robots and make no allowances for an employee or prospective employee experiencing personal anguish. A decent company would be happy to rearrange an interview for the following week in these conditions. I’m certain most of my previous employers would have done. Any company who isn’t, should be avoided at all costs. It’s not the way to treat people and it shouldn’t be normalised or excused.

Pinkbonbon · 15/05/2023 21:36

Why would she die on that hill? Like obviously people don't generally want to postpone their interviews. Why the need to imply a lie. Very weird. Not someone I'd want to work with.

JandalsAlways · 15/05/2023 21:37

Don't go, it's already off to a terrible start!