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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not go to the job interview because they accused me of lying

266 replies

Rabbitsea · 15/05/2023 20:13

I had a job interview booked recently, the day before my grandma passed away. I was really close to her and i would not have been great in the interview the next day.

I emailed and called prior explaining what had happened and if possible i would like to rearrange, they agreed all was fine. Rearranged for this Wednesday, but I got a call today saying, sorry to hear about your mother in law. I said it wasn’t my mother in law it was my grandma.

5 minutes later i got a call from the woman saying i’m sure you said it was your mother in law, you said you have to support your partner. I said no it’s my grandmother i don’t even had a partner. She replied and said no you said mother in law, we have recorded calls and if we listen back and you said mother in law the interview would be off the table.

At this point i was quite irritated and I felt upset that she would imply i would lie about losing my grandma. She ended the call saying will I actually turn up to the interview if all is okay? I feel like its not a good start to begin with

OP posts:
Fedupmum21 · 15/05/2023 20:40

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 15/05/2023 20:25

what I’d do:

Write to her boss to explain how appalling she’s behaved, lodge a subject access request for the call recording (so they can’t lie about what’s going on it) and tell them her behaviour showed more red flags than a communist parade so you dont think they’re somewhere anyone should work.

Sorry for your loss.

“More red flags than a communist parade”
Brilliantly put! I totally agree though- run for the hills once you’ve made sure they know how rude they have been! Sorry for your loss.

Irridescantshimmmer · 15/05/2023 20:43

Avoid them like the plague.

If they are this dysfunctional before interview, they could be even worse to work for.

Besides, it has sweet nothing to do with them who actually past away and their conduct is horrendous.

Malificent1 · 15/05/2023 20:45

Tell them to listen to the call and to ring you back with an apology. She sounds like a right bitch, be thankful that she’s shown you this already and walk away if you can.

I’m very sorry about your Grandma x

kirinm · 15/05/2023 20:45

DojaPhat · 15/05/2023 20:22

This is a huge red flag if I ever saw one. Write them a curt and polite e-mail explaining you will not be attending the interview as a result of being accused of lying and the manner in which the miscommunication was dealt with by said woman. Highlight how unprofessional her conduct was, how it portrays the company in a negative light, shows how they manage sensitive issues with their employees etc etc... Really go for it in the e-mail.

If you go to the interview you risk being usurped somewhat, especially if the interview doesn't go well and you find yourself on the backfoot.

This.

It's completely unacceptable and you're not at all unreasonable to be pissed off.

I'm sorry about your Grandma OP.

Roundandnour · 15/05/2023 20:45

I would go to the interview

I would enjoy them squirm on the any questions part…. Does the company routinely accuse potential staff/staff of lying?

SweetSakura · 15/05/2023 20:48

Please lodge a complaint this is awful behaviour

billy1966 · 15/05/2023 20:48

RelaxingClassics · 15/05/2023 20:18

Absolutely not. This is a HUGE red flag - can you imagine working for someone who thinks it's ok to treat people like this. What kind of organisation is it because I would also ask for their formal complaints procedure. As a senior manager I would want to know if this was happening in my organisation.

Absolutely this.

So unprofessional.

DoWaDiddyDiddy · 15/05/2023 20:48

Stuff that! Imagine working for them if that's how they behave before you've even interviewed. Bin them and put your energy into applying for other jobs. Sorry about your Grandma.

Frabbits · 15/05/2023 20:48

I wouldn't even waste my time fucking around proving them right. Just send them an email saying thanks but no thanks, you wankbadgers.

Sheepsheepeverywhere · 15/05/2023 20:48

Attend the interview. Ask to use the toilet and leave a whole fish in the cistern...

LookOutBandits · 15/05/2023 20:51

Roundandnour · 15/05/2023 20:45

I would go to the interview

I would enjoy them squirm on the any questions part…. Does the company routinely accuse potential staff/staff of lying?

But they won't squirm if they are cunts.

Youdoyoubabe · 15/05/2023 20:54

It is a bit rude but to be honest most employers wouldn’t progress an application with someone who couldn’t interview due to extended family death. It is sad but people die all the time and work has to continue.

up to you if you progress it or not.

QuillBill · 15/05/2023 20:56

Youdoyoubabe · 15/05/2023 20:54

It is a bit rude but to be honest most employers wouldn’t progress an application with someone who couldn’t interview due to extended family death. It is sad but people die all the time and work has to continue.

up to you if you progress it or not.

It's not about that though. If they had just said 'sorry, we can't move the interview date' that would have been OK. But that's not what happened at all.

MissBPotter · 15/05/2023 20:57

I wouldn’t attend. I would find your original email
and forward it to them saying something like - ‘Following our conversation yesterday I wanted to confirm that it was in fact my beloved grandma that has died and not my mother in law as x claimed I had said. I find the manner in which x called my integrity in to question to be unprofessional and I
no longer feel inclined to attend the interview, based on the phone call we had. It was obvious that x was not going to listen to me and for her to threaten me in that manner when I am still grieving, was uncalled for. I thank you for your time and wish you the best with filling this vacancy: but this is not the role for me.

Kind regards,

….

tsmainsqueeze · 15/05/2023 21:00

MissBPotter · 15/05/2023 20:57

I wouldn’t attend. I would find your original email
and forward it to them saying something like - ‘Following our conversation yesterday I wanted to confirm that it was in fact my beloved grandma that has died and not my mother in law as x claimed I had said. I find the manner in which x called my integrity in to question to be unprofessional and I
no longer feel inclined to attend the interview, based on the phone call we had. It was obvious that x was not going to listen to me and for her to threaten me in that manner when I am still grieving, was uncalled for. I thank you for your time and wish you the best with filling this vacancy: but this is not the role for me.

Kind regards,

….

This is perfect , sorry for your loss x

JenWillsiam · 15/05/2023 21:01

I wouldn’t go and I would email making it very clear why I was withdrawing. Awful.

Mariposista · 15/05/2023 21:01

So so sorry about your gran OP. I lost mine 6 weeks ago too, and I would have been so upset if this had happened to me.

Nasty little piece of work needs reporting. What is it to her who it is - it's a bereavement. I wouldn't want to work there.

RufustheSpecuIatingreindeer · 15/05/2023 21:05

Hillrunning · 15/05/2023 20:19

I would make them confirm they were wrong, and only then turn it down. If you pull out first it will just confirm their belief.

I'd probably still interview, in the hope that I got the job and then could turn it down, because I am petty and would enjoy wasting their time.

This

because I am also incredibly petty

so sorry this has happened to you, they don’t deserve you

IAteAllTheTomatoes · 15/05/2023 21:06

I think it depends on how much you want the job and who this lady actually is.

Is she in the HR department and you are applying for a role she may have wanted. Maybe someone she knows is her choice and she's trying to eliminate the competition. The people interviewing you and that you are working with might be very disgusted if they knew this is how she spoke to you.

One asshole doesn't mean thry are all the same.

Onetreelake · 15/05/2023 21:08

Please report back on what you do OP. I'd definitely want them to confirm they were wrong before declining, because I'm petty like that! Sorry for your loss.

EmmaEmerald · 15/05/2023 21:08

Lostinplaces · 15/05/2023 20:16

I would call and ask them to listen to the recording and when they confirm you were telling the truth tell them to stick the interview up their arses.

This
sorry for your loss.

Vitriolinsanity · 15/05/2023 21:09

Oh I bloody love a recorded phone call. Smeg had to send me a bouquet and undertake a shit load or corrections when I was able to produce the date, time and name of a person that had assured me an oven was a like for like fit.

In your case OP, I'd decline the interview citing exactly the same. You don't want to work for these people, but the truth is a beautiful thing to shove up someone's ass.

Sorry about your Granny.

NSA2103 · 15/05/2023 21:09

An interview is a two way process: ie. you checking them out, as well as them checking you out. Sounds like they're disrespectful, disorganised, and/or are confused.

EsmeSusanOgg · 15/05/2023 21:11

Lostinplaces · 15/05/2023 20:16

I would call and ask them to listen to the recording and when they confirm you were telling the truth tell them to stick the interview up their arses.

Yes. Not a good start!

Mostar · 15/05/2023 21:11

To get the person who died is bad enough, but perhaps forgivable. To call you back and argue about is so very, very wrong. Why would you want to work in that sort of environment? Tell them to go fuck themselves.

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