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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I ruining the holiday?

461 replies

jasmine92 · 15/05/2023 10:14

DP has not said as much but I just feel bad.

We spent a lot of money on a much needed holiday as we’ve been super stressed - we booked a really remote, hot location with the plan being nothing but sunbathing.
We’ve got here and it’s freezing cold, and it’s expected to be until we leave. I feel gutted because a) we spent a lot of money, b) there’s literally nothing else to do and c) he suggested other locations that I said no to because I have been before, and I should’ve gone for them as they’re really hot right now.

I keep mentioning the weather, DP keeps telling me to “make the most of it”, “it’s done now”, “it’s out of our control” etc but I just hate being cold and there’s literally nothing else to do. He told me off for looking at the weather and told me not to look again. But I just am so annoyed. Also gutted as I packed only dresses.

Also, I really wanted a holiday for us to just get away from everything as we’ve been so stressed. I said let’s just put our phones down for the week, and let’s not talk about anything going on at home that’s stressful, and let’s talk about different stuff, but he keeps scrolling each time I even walk 2 metres away. He said I put too much pressure on the holiday by saying this.
I then got upset during breakfast as he wasn’t really saying much and he said he felt pressured to make conversation. He also said he’d had 3 hours sleep and I wasn’t being understanding.

I just feel like a misery guts but I can’t help but be upset, and I don’t feel like he’s understanding. Am I unreasonable?

OP posts:

JandalsAlways · 15/05/2023 11:16

You're in Greece, which is stunning. Just because it's cold there's no excuse not to make the most of the beautiful country and still enjoy yoir holiday

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 15/05/2023 11:16

I’ve just looked at the weather in Greece. It’s 25 today , 26 on Wednesday ( it’s 12 In Oxfordshire) so hardly freezing, a cardigan or a fleece could do it .

can’t you go anywhere on public transport?

SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows · 15/05/2023 11:16

Now I really want moussaka & Greek salad! After we came back from Crete, we made the salad loads.
Hope you take pp’s advice OP & have a great holiday.

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 15/05/2023 11:17

Have to say this post has made me wish SO HARD for a proper grown up holiday with no kids, no schedule, no need to keep everybody entertained, fed etc, no need to be trapped in the accommodation after bedtime... It's been years. YEARS. I would bloody kill to be in a hotel in Greece right now, even if it was pissing it down outside. With my phone to scroll :P

Peridot1 · 15/05/2023 11:17

It’s not 24/25 everywhere in Greece. We usually go to northern Greece and it’s 19/20 there today. Not cold but not hot either.

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/05/2023 11:18

PutinSmellsPassItOn · Today 10:43
If I was stuck on holiday with a moanyarse who can't get past a bit of cold weather to make the most of things I'd be scrolling on my phone too 😬”

yep, this. Nothing to do? You’re in one of the birthplaces of civilisation. Buy a coat, get out there and see what you can find.

Dollmeup · 15/05/2023 11:19

Id be disappointed too as I love the heat. However you are there now and need to make the most of being on holiday. It's got to be better than work, cooking and cleaning at home!

In your position I would chat to the hotel staff and ask them for recommendations of nice things to do, there might be some local sights, lovely village restaurants/cafes/bars that you don't know about.

They can direct you to somewhere you can buy a couple of warmer clothes bits. Local buses will be cheaper than car hire so you could do a trip to the nearest town for shopping and lunch.

Make the most of being in a hotel room. Nap loads, read your books, play cards, have sex.

There must be a hotel bar? Have a few day drinks!

FernGully43 · 15/05/2023 11:19

Yes you're ruininh it. Your DP is right. Nothing you can do, make the most of it. DH and I would likely get a bunch of snacks and chill in room, eat, watch telly , play cards (we always bring cards with us), chat. Go for walks in the rain. Is there a bar in your hotel? Or nearby? Go have some drinks in the evening etc

HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 15/05/2023 11:19

Read the books, go on long walks, have sex in the middle of the day, buy a deck of cards and learn some new games. The weather isn't ruining the holiday...you are!

Radiatorvalves · 15/05/2023 11:21

We went to corfu a few years ago in may. The weather wasn’t great, but I managed a bit of sunbathing, ate and drank loads. Went to Corfu town and the fort. The people were lovely and lent us a brolly. And I read a lot. Had some lovely lie ins too. Hire a bike,go for a walk,get on a bus!

Solonge · 15/05/2023 11:22

jasmine92 · 15/05/2023 10:25

We’re in Greece but the weather said it was gonna be scorching and it changed last minute. We looked at hiring a car but it’s extortionate.
Our plans were beaches, books, sun etc but we can’t do any of it

Oh come on…nothing to stop you lying on the bed reading. Eating the same lovely food you would have if the sun shone….chatting about the future. You could go to the local tourist office and go on an excursion by bus. If you just sit and whine then your poor partner is going to feel its a complete let down, he is trying…you need to stop being so first world doom fuelled. You are away from home, no stress, with the person you love, safe and fed. Be grateful.

Quitelikeit · 15/05/2023 11:24

Looks like op has also been banned from her phone 🤣🤣

mosiacmaker · 15/05/2023 11:24

First of all if you are cold - buy a jumper and jeans - you will probably cheer up 70% of the way if you feel warmer. I get very grumbly if I am cold.

Second - it’s annoying when someone is on their phone but you can’t really force this as a rule. I just try to lead by example and read my book and put phone away and maybe pointedly say how wonderful it is to be unplugged!! and then DP often follows suit. It would not go down well if I told him the rule was no phones.

Third - don’t put pressure on conversation. Holidays as a couple don’t often give you a lot to talk about so just try to enjoy the companionable silence. the best way to ruin conversation is to put pressure on it or say things like “I guess we just have nothing left to say to each other” - way too much pressure for conversation to flow easily!

Forth- if you both drink alcohol then start having wine with lunch! Maybe start the day with a mimosa. A light buzz and a warm jumper might be all you need.

Your DH isn’t making you feel bad about the location choice so just let it go and stop bringing it up. Find the fun!

MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 15/05/2023 11:24

I would be a bit like you too OP, you've both been super stressed and you've expected to do absolutely sod all except lie in the sun and have been looking forward to it. You want to just switch off your brain.

I'd be very disappointed if it turned into a 'get up and go for a walk, plan trips out, find something to do" holiday. You have to move instead of lounging, and start looking into this and planning how will you get there, and where to go, is it open, what's the parking like if you hire a car, sorting hiring a car if you do' etc. Yes it's not work, but it's not exactly relaxing. The kind of holiday where you come home feeling like you need another holiday!

I'd be trying to find a nice spa and spending time there. Or as a pp suggested throw some money at it and get cheap flights and a few nights in one of the hot places.

gogohmm · 15/05/2023 11:24

Yes you are ruining it to be blunt. If you look at weather trends you will see that it's not that hot in early May, early 20's if you are lucky but can be cooler. Look for other things to do

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 15/05/2023 11:24

Honestly - yes, you are ruining it.

Stop moaning, buy some jeans and a jumper and go and explore. There's loads to do in Greece, even if you have to chuck money at it by hiring a car.

And I also agree with PP who said to stop making rules - I mean, if all you're doing is moaning then I'm not surprised your DP is on his phone!

DogInATent · 15/05/2023 11:25

jasmine92 · 15/05/2023 10:25

Buy a jumper. Put your phone down. Stop the pity party.

Lcb123 · 15/05/2023 11:25

Sorry but it does sound like you’re ruining it. It’s disappointing but you can’t change it. Can you find some locally organised day trips, find some hiking routes, hire bikes, go on a boat trip? You can still read and chill out, maybe just buy a jumper. And eat and drink!

Pinkflamingopants · 15/05/2023 11:26

If you can't afford to fly somewhere else, then you are going to have to make the most of it. Spa day, lovely restaurant lunch, a walk, wine tasting, ruins, town, cinema (I saw a movie in English in an outdoor cinema in greece), just treat it as if you were off work in England.

FrownedUpon · 15/05/2023 11:29

You sound quite spoilt & immature. You’re on holiday in a lovely place, so embrace it. Greece is rarely hot in May, so you made the mistake in booking it really.

BriarHare · 15/05/2023 11:30

You need to get over the weather issue and stop being controlling. Imagine if you were away with friends - you’d not dream of being petulant and spoiling it for everyone so why treat your partner like this?

You’re away from home. You can still enjoy yourselves. Leisurely lunches, walks, reading, sight-seeing. Make the most of it.

WestwardHo1 · 15/05/2023 11:30

There's literally nothing else to do in Greece except beaches?

Sorry OP but yes you are ruining your holiday. Your husband is right and you need to make the best of it instead of just moaning.

WaltzingWaters · 15/05/2023 11:32

Weather can be pretty hit or miss in Greece in May. Even if it’s hot and sunny a lot of islands can be very windy and still quite cold. But Greece has lots of things to do. Ruins, watersports , find a spa, rent an ATV and explore, island hop (another island may be warmer with less breeze if wind is the issue), sit in a taverna eating lots of delicious food and drinking wine. Buy some warmer clothes, cut out the rules and moaning, and make the most of it. Disappointing I know, I love super hot and sunny weather, but you can still have a lovely time together.

TrundleToes · 15/05/2023 11:33

Bloody hell, Greece is an unbroken carpet of archaeology. Everywhere you walk, everywhere you look ...

Mind you, a friend of mine once went on holiday to Malta and reported back that 'there was nothing to do ... so boring'.

3luckystars · 15/05/2023 11:33

I hope you feel a bit better now after all the good advice here, it sounds like you were under tremendous stress and had banked on this holiday just as a total escape. Now that it isn’t ‘perfect’ you are really upset. That’s understandable but the only worse thing than 1 bad day on holiday is 7 bad days. You have no control over the weather, you will have to force yourself to find other things to do and to make the most of your escape, even if it isn’t perfect.

all the very best

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