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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I ruining the holiday?

461 replies

jasmine92 · 15/05/2023 10:14

DP has not said as much but I just feel bad.

We spent a lot of money on a much needed holiday as we’ve been super stressed - we booked a really remote, hot location with the plan being nothing but sunbathing.
We’ve got here and it’s freezing cold, and it’s expected to be until we leave. I feel gutted because a) we spent a lot of money, b) there’s literally nothing else to do and c) he suggested other locations that I said no to because I have been before, and I should’ve gone for them as they’re really hot right now.

I keep mentioning the weather, DP keeps telling me to “make the most of it”, “it’s done now”, “it’s out of our control” etc but I just hate being cold and there’s literally nothing else to do. He told me off for looking at the weather and told me not to look again. But I just am so annoyed. Also gutted as I packed only dresses.

Also, I really wanted a holiday for us to just get away from everything as we’ve been so stressed. I said let’s just put our phones down for the week, and let’s not talk about anything going on at home that’s stressful, and let’s talk about different stuff, but he keeps scrolling each time I even walk 2 metres away. He said I put too much pressure on the holiday by saying this.
I then got upset during breakfast as he wasn’t really saying much and he said he felt pressured to make conversation. He also said he’d had 3 hours sleep and I wasn’t being understanding.

I just feel like a misery guts but I can’t help but be upset, and I don’t feel like he’s understanding. Am I unreasonable?

OP posts:
Usernamen · 15/05/2023 10:56

Two words: Greek food.

Stuff your face! If you gain weight that will help to keep you warm, so it’s win win. 😜

Also, I don’t know what your relationship is like, but could you not, um… spend more time in bed together?

Augend23 · 15/05/2023 10:56

Is it sunny but cold? If so, I would buy a jumper and some leggings and sit out anyway? I often sit out under a blanket etc if it's not raining.

If hiring a car is really expensive could you book a few taxis to go and see some places?

You definitely need to buy some warm clothes, nothing worse than being chilly.

I also think, given the holiday isn't as expected, there's no point getting het up about scrolling or otherwise. You can choose not to but don't create additional complexity by asking him not to.

FrenchandSaunders · 15/05/2023 10:57

I can't believe it's freezing in Greece. It might not be roasting and sea swimming weather but it has to be better than the UK at the mo. What temp are we actually talking here?

I'd be doing lots of coastal walks, stopping off for baklava/coffee .... then copious amounts of local wine/ouzo later on .... moussaka, greek salads.

I had the opposite problem last year ... went in July and at 40 degrees it was too hot to do any sightseeing or exploring/walking.

Purplecatshopaholic · 15/05/2023 10:57

This happened to us in Portugal a few years ago. We picked the coldest May fortnight on record, lol. We decided to suck up the cost and hired a car - saw loads of the countryside we would never have seen. Wrapped up in layers and sat reading books. It is what you make it op.

diamondpony80 · 15/05/2023 10:57

I wouldn't expect guaranteed hot weather at this time of the year, although surely even the coldest part of Greece is around 20 degrees right now? It might not be sunbathing weather, but it's not unpleasant either. I'd love to be abroad anywhere right now, no matter what the weather!

Lochjeda · 15/05/2023 10:58

Bansheed · 15/05/2023 10:41

My DP and I would eat, drink and shag. And still read our books. You are away from all your stresses at home, try and enjoy it, and each other.

This! Long lunches, earlier nights after some fun, just get on with it!

tara66 · 15/05/2023 10:58

Stop moaning - you are just making things worse. Buy a jumper.

NameChangeSorryNotSorry · 15/05/2023 10:58

OP you’re being hammered here which is a bit harsh- it’s ok to be disappointed. I broadly agree with pp- make peace with weather, get a bus or taxi to a town and get some warmer bits, find a nice local bar and somewhere to eat, hiking can be fun if it’s sunny but cool. Holidays are only as good as you make them!

BillyNoM8s · 15/05/2023 10:58

Like much of Europe, Greece isn't particularly reliable outside of late June to late September. If scorching is what you were after, you should've gone elsewhere, but what's done is done, so you might as well make the most of it.

Where are? There's a huge variance in activity options between the islands.

Dishwashersaurous · 15/05/2023 10:58

Greece in early May is very rarely very hot. Sunny and pleasant, yes.

But generally on the edge of whether you can swim in the sea etc.

And definitely not lying around sunbathing weather.

If you wanted guaranteed hot in early May then you needed to fly a lot further and pay more.

You just need to accept that you made a mistake and make the best of it.

Go and visit historical sites, do long walks in the mountains etc

Lifesagamethentheytaketheboardaway · 15/05/2023 10:59

You’re being really controlling. You said no to all his holiday suggestions. You got what you wanted. You’re now also dictating what he can do on the holiday, so he isn’t allowed his phone but you can keep your face glued to the weather report. And you won’t stop going on about how awful the holiday is when he is just trying to make the most of it.

Back off and let him have his holiday. Just stop moaning and stop controlling him.

alittlequinnie · 15/05/2023 10:59

I feel for your OP. Being in a foreign country where you expected it to be hot - with only holiday clothes packed in your suitcase is awful.

It happened to me once. I had to keep wearing the clothes I had worn on the plane all week.

We too had to hire a car and we were very quick to get in it every morning so we could get the heater on!!!

It was so cold in our apartment - I had bath after bath just to get warm.

If you can possibly afford it the car really helped us to get through the week with a more positive stance!!

pinksavannah · 15/05/2023 11:00

jasmine92 · 15/05/2023 10:25

We’re in Greece but the weather said it was gonna be scorching and it changed last minute. We looked at hiring a car but it’s extortionate.
Our plans were beaches, books, sun etc but we can’t do any of it

Iv been to many places in Greece and There must be loads of excursions nearby you can book.

Grab a cardigan from a local shop and look at some boat trips / shopping/ caves/ monuments etc.

When it was 40 plus in the UK last year we were in Portugal and it rained the whole time 😂

You have just got to make the most of it, have nice lunches out, get a pack of cards and play card games , have long lay ins 😉

Anything to reconnect and de stress , it's not going to be the holiday you had planned but it doesn't have to be ruined just because there's no sun

Lindjam · 15/05/2023 11:00

Where in Greece are you? I’m sure we can find you things to do x

AnonyMenOhPee · 15/05/2023 11:00

You’re hardly in the remotest part of the Amazon. There’s absolutely tons to do in Greece. Hire a car, go to the shops to buy a jumper and go exploring. Find a village with a coffee shop. Drive to a town with restaurants and bars and people watch. It’s still 20 something degrees in Greece. Find a spa with an indoor pool. Swim in the rain. Go look round some ruins while it’s nice and cool. Go on a wind or sweet making tour. Go on a jeep tour. Buy a pack of cards and learn a new card game together. Try every cocktail the hotel offers and

most importantly buck your ideas up and get on board with this holiday that you insisted upon. Stop controlling your DP phone use - if you’re just moping around what else is he supposed to do?

BonnieBobbin · 15/05/2023 11:00

YABU - take your OP as the equivalent of writing down your complaints and worries. Now move on. Buy warmer clothes. Hire a car (it can't be more expensive than the holiday and it will increase your options for places to go, etc). Let go of all your prescriptive ideas. It's a different holiday than you expected. It doesn't need to be worse. Take a few hours to plan your new, different holiday. Then enjoy it (oh and apologise to your DH for ruining it so far!).

TeaKitten · 15/05/2023 11:01

jasmine92 · 15/05/2023 10:25

We’re in Greece but the weather said it was gonna be scorching and it changed last minute. We looked at hiring a car but it’s extortionate.
Our plans were beaches, books, sun etc but we can’t do any of it

Really struggling to understand why you can’t go to a beach or read a book when it’s not hot. Yes you are ruining the holiday, it’s a shame about the weather but worse things have happened, get over it! You can still walk outside, you can still read a book. What’s wrong with using a phone on holiday?

greennotepad · 15/05/2023 11:02

In the kindest way- yes you are ruining it a bit. You can't change the weather, so you can either waste the whole week being annoyed or you can try and make the best of it. You're still on holiday, away from work and from the day to day stresses of home- that's something!

If this was me and my DP, we'd be disappointed but then we'd get over it and as someone said upthread we'd eat, drink, shag, and probably just have a good laugh about the whole thing. That's because we're a team- are you and DP a team?

Floralnomad · 15/05/2023 11:03

YABU you can’t guarantee the weather anywhere and stop telling him to not use his phone . I’d be using my phone with you whining on .

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 15/05/2023 11:03

Yes, you're ruining it. It is what it is, keeping on about how it's not what you planned is not going to help.

How remote are you. Are there villages with little bars and restaurants nearby? Do you have a car? Go exploring, either on foot / by car / bus. Eat all the food you can find. Sit in cafes with Greek coffee and your book. Just relax. You're currently stressing that you can't destress. Take a step back and breathe.

garlictwist · 15/05/2023 11:03

I think you might be me. I love hot weather and if I am let down by the weather on holiday (or even a weekend) I get really angry and moany. It really annoys DP because understandably it can't be changed. I think that you probably are ruining the holiday a bit as you will be creating a very negative vibe. As hard as it is, you have to just bite your tongue and feel cross inside. Trust me, I've been there!

Quitelikeit · 15/05/2023 11:03

You need to make the most of it

Accept the weather situation!

Go out for nice meals? Cafes? Share a bottle of wine or two

explore, buy a cardigan

and Cheer up!!!!

Banditdog · 15/05/2023 11:04

Yes you are definitely ruining the holiday. I don’t see how anywhere in Greece could be that cold at this time of year or even that remote. Find other things to do and stop being controlling about using phones.

Pahpahpotato · 15/05/2023 11:04

It would be disappointing but yea, I’m afraid to say you’d be doing my head in going on and on about it. Obsessively checking the weather and talking about it constantly will change nothing. Buy a jumper, or borrow one of his if you must, and explore the beaches, explore the area, read a book (even if it’s cold 😂), stop trying to dictate how an adult chooses to spend his holiday and just try to make the most of what you have.

lightinthebox · 15/05/2023 11:05

He's not allowed on his phone but you let yourself go on MN?

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