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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I ruining the holiday?

461 replies

jasmine92 · 15/05/2023 10:14

DP has not said as much but I just feel bad.

We spent a lot of money on a much needed holiday as we’ve been super stressed - we booked a really remote, hot location with the plan being nothing but sunbathing.
We’ve got here and it’s freezing cold, and it’s expected to be until we leave. I feel gutted because a) we spent a lot of money, b) there’s literally nothing else to do and c) he suggested other locations that I said no to because I have been before, and I should’ve gone for them as they’re really hot right now.

I keep mentioning the weather, DP keeps telling me to “make the most of it”, “it’s done now”, “it’s out of our control” etc but I just hate being cold and there’s literally nothing else to do. He told me off for looking at the weather and told me not to look again. But I just am so annoyed. Also gutted as I packed only dresses.

Also, I really wanted a holiday for us to just get away from everything as we’ve been so stressed. I said let’s just put our phones down for the week, and let’s not talk about anything going on at home that’s stressful, and let’s talk about different stuff, but he keeps scrolling each time I even walk 2 metres away. He said I put too much pressure on the holiday by saying this.
I then got upset during breakfast as he wasn’t really saying much and he said he felt pressured to make conversation. He also said he’d had 3 hours sleep and I wasn’t being understanding.

I just feel like a misery guts but I can’t help but be upset, and I don’t feel like he’s understanding. Am I unreasonable?

OP posts:
TorviShieldMaiden · 15/05/2023 11:05

For reference it was 16-17 degrees in North Yorkshire this weekend and I was wearing shorts and t-shirt and got sunburn. Go for a walk!

To me, cold weather is below about 10 degrees, to be freezing it would be lower than that. 20 f degrees is lovely weather.

ThreeRingCircus · 15/05/2023 11:07

Yes, you are spoiling it. The weather can't be helped so you can either continue to stress about it and be miserable or you can see the positive side and make the best of it.

In your DP's position I'm not surprised that he's fed up if you're the one that insisted on that location and are now moaning and being negative about it. Just go and buy some warmer clothes, sit in the hotel or a cafe and read your book, go for walks, find some nice restaurants, laze in bed in the mornings etc etc.

Not everyone can be positive all the time but whining is definitely making it worse. You're not at work, you've got time together with your DP, you're experiencing somewhere new ... just look for the positives. Happiness is often a choice.

BarbaraofSeville · 15/05/2023 11:08

If you don't want to hire a car, can you get on a bus or train somewhere?

You could probably book a night or two in a hotel in a city for not very much, which will open up more that you can do, and break up the tedium somewhat.

Batalax · 15/05/2023 11:08

If I was disappointed, then that would be made much worse by not being allowed on my phone.

Let him do what he needs to do to make the best of it.

LoobyDop · 15/05/2023 11:08

You’re getting a hard time, but I’ve been stuck in a Greek resort with shit weather, and it is miserable because they’re just not set up for it. It’s all very well saying sit in a bar and read, but that’s a crap way to spend precious holiday time. I would suck up the cost of hiring a car, and then it must be possible to drive to somewhere you can buy some jeans and jumpers and a pair of cheap trainers, even if they aren’t what you’d choose at home. Then, seeing as you say it’s chilly rather than raining, you can get out and do some sightseeing, walks etc. If even that’s not an option I’d have a look at whether it’s feasible to fly somewhere else for a few days- maybe Cyprus? That should be warmer. But don’t allow it to make you start sniping at each other. Try and treat it as an exercise in resourcefulness. If the worse comes to the worst, stay out late every night and get hammered (extensive research suggests this is entirely possible even in UK winter temperatures and pissing rain) and then stay in bed all morning sleeping off the hangover.

TequilaNights · 15/05/2023 11:08

I'm not seeing much below 20c across the whole of Greece, most of the cloud looks inland, can you look into a boat trip exersion with pick up and drop off and get our in the sun.

Mirabai · 15/05/2023 11:09

Of course it’s not scorching in Greece in May! 😂

So much to do and see and eat though. So yes as others suggest - buy a coat and book to see all the sights.

Mommasgotabrandnewbag · 15/05/2023 11:09

It's currently 24% in Greece. Hardly cold.

IWantRebeccasConfidence · 15/05/2023 11:09

Buy a jumper and leggings a suggested and if you’re able, walk along the beaches, towns etc. Enjoy being somewhere different. I used to be the same and think once I spoiled something that was it. But you can still turn this around. Say a time you’ll switch and get a cheap jumper and then from then on start the holiday afresh and nothing that has happened before matters. Food, walks, sitting by the sea even in winter can be lovely.

Azandme · 15/05/2023 11:09

You say he's not being understanding... But neither are you.

You want him to listen to you moan and complain. He wants you to accept the situation and make the best of it.

Only one of those will damage the enjoyment of the holiday.

I lived on a Greek island - there's plenty to do no matter how remote you are, or how cold it is. People live there year round - they don't stop doing things when it's not sunny.

Go for walks, get the car even if expensive. Sample the local wine and food, read the books.

Use your imagination! A holiday is as good as YOU make it, not how good the weather is.

Whiskers4 · 15/05/2023 11:09

We were due to go to Crete May 2020, but lockdown took over. The weather ended up being 8c in the day and freezing at night. We really would still have gone and made the most of it, books, played games together, coffee/lunch out watching the world go by and we've have got out there walking, we were a little remote but a couple of miles walking would have got us to small town on by the reach or in the countryside.

I understand you're disappointed, but it really is a case of making the cost of it.

Dishwashersaurous · 15/05/2023 11:10

A quick Google has Athens at 24 all week, and most islands a degree or two less.

Not hot but certainly not cold.

Perfect walking and exploring and eating out in Nice restaurants weather.

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 15/05/2023 11:10

NameChangeSorryNotSorry · 15/05/2023 10:58

OP you’re being hammered here which is a bit harsh- it’s ok to be disappointed. I broadly agree with pp- make peace with weather, get a bus or taxi to a town and get some warmer bits, find a nice local bar and somewhere to eat, hiking can be fun if it’s sunny but cool. Holidays are only as good as you make them!

It's OK to be disappointed. It's not OK to expect her partner to pander to it. If my partner had a face on and kept moaning about something neither of us could do anything about instead of proactively looking for what fun was to be had, and picking at me about how I chose to fill my time, I'd be so irritated. She needs to buck up and get on with it.

Mirabai · 15/05/2023 11:10

Mommasgotabrandnewbag · 15/05/2023 11:09

It's currently 24% in Greece. Hardly cold.

She’s taken clothes for the wrong climate though - she thought it would be hot so she’s only got dresses that’s why she’s cold.

Dishwashersaurous · 15/05/2023 11:12

So she needs to buy some leggings and a jumper. Surely she has the clothes that she travelled in from the UK which will be warmer

XelaM · 15/05/2023 11:12

How can there possibly be nothing to do in Greece?!? 😂

Snailsaresweet · 15/05/2023 11:12

You have my sympathies - it's really not very warm/nice in Southern Europe at the moment. I'm just back from a walking holiday in a usually sunny coastal area, where we walked through heavy rain and low cloud and had one walk cancelled due to the conditions. They were expecting more of the same this week. And it is hard, especially in places set up for warmer weather. If you haven't got the cash for a car, have you researched local buses - just going on them can be an adventure!

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 15/05/2023 11:13

Pot8ohs · 15/05/2023 10:27

A little bit yes. You are still incredibly stressed and out of sorts I think and yes putting a bit too much pressure on both of you.

Maybe find somewhere isolated to have a good rant and moan where no one can hear you and then try to just get some sleep. Give up on forcing a holiday spirit or what you think you ought to be doing. We’ve had holidays when we just stayed in bed or on the sofa like zombies for 2 or 3 days just because we were so exhausted. It’s not what you hope for but sometimes it’s just what needs to be done. Then the rest of the holiday picks up once you’ve recovered a bit.

This 100 per cent.
you are both still stressed. He's telling you not to check the weather. You're fed up of him being on his phone.
The added jeopardy is that the holiday was expensive and the fact that you both feel you can't enjoy it, adds the stress of that too.
I think you both felt that the holiday would fix the stress, but you both seem to have brought the stress with you.
Give yourself a chance.
It is what it is.
The positive thing is that he keeps saying lets make the best of it and if you tried that it does sound like he would meet you halfway.
Why not think of two things to do today - even if a bit dull and tell him you want to call a truce and you will try to make the best of it.
Can you pick out some good films on your phones/ipads and have a nice meal and a drink. It does pass the time. And maybe plan your next ideal holiday.
if you don't have a car, hotels often have coach tours to popular places.. you could try that - something to look at..
Or hire a car for just two days?

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 15/05/2023 11:13

TorviShieldMaiden · 15/05/2023 11:05

For reference it was 16-17 degrees in North Yorkshire this weekend and I was wearing shorts and t-shirt and got sunburn. Go for a walk!

To me, cold weather is below about 10 degrees, to be freezing it would be lower than that. 20 f degrees is lovely weather.

"16-17 degrees? You were lucky!" (sorry :) ).

FeelingwearyFeeelingsmall · 15/05/2023 11:13

You sound like very hard work. Buy a jumper and get over yourself.

TrashyPanda · 15/05/2023 11:14

Currently 12 degrees here in central Scotland and a lovely sunny day. Perfectly fine for sitting in a sunny corner of the garden and reading. Is it colder in Greece?

reading a book is fine, but reading your phone isn’t? Why?

dont catastrophise. Make the best of things

Catspyjamas17 · 15/05/2023 11:15

It says the weather is 24/25C in Greece just now. Why would you be cold in a dress? That would feel pretty scorchio compared with what we've had in the UK.

AxolotlOnions · 15/05/2023 11:15

Go for a hike. Hire some bikes. Check out public transport. Where abouts in Greece are you? I'm sure we can find you something to do.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 15/05/2023 11:15

Go to bars and get tipsy.Cant beat a bit of day drinking on holiday when the weather's crap

ShimmeringShirts · 15/05/2023 11:16

I’d be pretty pissed if someone attempted to dictate to me whether I could go on my phone and if they kept whining about the weather. Mentioning it once is fine, repeatedly bringing it up is whinging. It sounds like you could do with taking a breath, stopping the nagging and enjoying the rest of your time away.