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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I ruining the holiday?

461 replies

jasmine92 · 15/05/2023 10:14

DP has not said as much but I just feel bad.

We spent a lot of money on a much needed holiday as we’ve been super stressed - we booked a really remote, hot location with the plan being nothing but sunbathing.
We’ve got here and it’s freezing cold, and it’s expected to be until we leave. I feel gutted because a) we spent a lot of money, b) there’s literally nothing else to do and c) he suggested other locations that I said no to because I have been before, and I should’ve gone for them as they’re really hot right now.

I keep mentioning the weather, DP keeps telling me to “make the most of it”, “it’s done now”, “it’s out of our control” etc but I just hate being cold and there’s literally nothing else to do. He told me off for looking at the weather and told me not to look again. But I just am so annoyed. Also gutted as I packed only dresses.

Also, I really wanted a holiday for us to just get away from everything as we’ve been so stressed. I said let’s just put our phones down for the week, and let’s not talk about anything going on at home that’s stressful, and let’s talk about different stuff, but he keeps scrolling each time I even walk 2 metres away. He said I put too much pressure on the holiday by saying this.
I then got upset during breakfast as he wasn’t really saying much and he said he felt pressured to make conversation. He also said he’d had 3 hours sleep and I wasn’t being understanding.

I just feel like a misery guts but I can’t help but be upset, and I don’t feel like he’s understanding. Am I unreasonable?

OP posts:
mustgetoffmn · 16/05/2023 18:52

I spent a lot of time in Greece when younger including a whole winter. We walked and sat in the little village bars and read books. Without knowing where exactly you are and also how much it’s changed I’d definitely do this. Hire a moped and explore. It’s my favourite place ever. If you’re in a nice hotel it will feel lovely to come back to warmth. Find a near village shop and buy jumpers. Go on excursions. There are more ways of relaxing than sunbathing.

strawberryFforever · 16/05/2023 18:53

Greece in early May is a risk. Surely you planned for this?

I've been on a few sunbathing holidays where the weather is disappointing.

That's life

Sit in a bar, read a book. Go for walks

Chill

LaughingCat · 16/05/2023 18:55

Oh god…I would be miserable on holiday with you. I can understand being gutted when something you’ve been looking forward to isn’t the perfect release you’ve been hoping for but your reaction is entirely out of proportion. I once went to Crete with an ex, years ago. Was hoping to have the perfect r and r in the sunshine and it rained. All. Week. We laughed it off - made up games, read books in the living room, chilled out playing mobile games…whatever we wanted. Bought a couple of ponchos and went exploring.

Just find things to do, buy a couple of jumpers and enjoy your time off because that’s the most important thing. You’re together. You’re not at work. You’re not at home. Those are three AMAZING things!

AliceOlive · 16/05/2023 18:55

If you are miserable and externalizing it, yeah.

midsomermurderess · 16/05/2023 18:58

If you don’t know how to ride a moped, do not hire one.

pookie999 · 16/05/2023 19:12

I googled weather for Mykonos and it's sunshine most days. Perfect May weather. If necessary I would pop to another island. Have an adventure. You will be fine in a couple of days when you have adjusted

HarLace1 · 16/05/2023 19:16

Unfortunately I think your expectations were way too high for a 'perfect' holiday. I know you're gutted but try and enjoy what u can x

MadisonR · 16/05/2023 19:22

Hasn't this happened to everyone.

We went to a campsite in the South of France in summer! and it was absolutely freezing cold, we even had the famous mistral wind, so strong it was ripping the tents out of the ground. We were expecting pools, beaches and pavement cafes!, we ventured onto the beach and found ourselves in a sandstorm.
I can laugh about it now but wasn't too happy at the time.

AlBG · 16/05/2023 19:23

I’m completely sun obsessed and understand how gutting it is when the weather doesn’t pan out. BUT this is 100% a mindset thing. You need to have a firm word with yourself and shake it off. If you fake/force being happy and having a blast, sometimes you actually do!
cold holiday ideas: you’re not at work and so relish in that and your other halves company. Have some monster lie ins. Some scenic walks, ice cream stops, boozy lunches and enjoy each other (wink wink). Hire some scooters and go exploring. Make it into an unexpected best holiday ever memory. Do some things you’d never usually do on holiday.
chin up, you can turn this around. Put the effort in to make it awesome.

Hadenough2022 · 16/05/2023 19:28

We went to Corfu at the start of the month. The weather was mixed with some cloud and rain. I can sympathise with the disappointment however there is still stuff to do. We went into Corfu Town found more interesting bits and went on a day trip to Albania. I read a lot and drank plenty of cocktails. Tbh I just thought complaining about the weather when I’m able to afford to go away is a first world problem

FabFitFifties · 16/05/2023 19:49

I didn't realise people still had holidays where they just sunbathed - I did it in my teens, because we'd been out all night, but I'd be bored stiff now. I'd get out and about, book some trips, hire that car OP.

1offnamechange · 16/05/2023 19:57

YABU

Looking at the metoffice for greece today, it's ranging from about 20-26 over the country in the day time - that's not cold ffs! What do you do in the UK 99% of the year if you can't function in that weather?

You feel it's your fault you chose a crap holiday but DP is a) not blaming you and b) trying to make the most of it, yet you're pissing on his chips, sitting around checking the weather forecast (which isn't going to change), and nagging him for looking at his phone when you've admitted there isn't anything else to do

Just buy a jumper and either rent a car regardless of cost, or commit to doing whatever you were planning to do in the local area. You can still read, go for walks on the beach, play tennis/whatever they have in the hotel, explore the local town, go on boat trips etc if it's cold! People swim in the uk throughout the winter! Just keep moving and jump in the shower to warm up when you get back. Or just spend time relaxing in the room, watch tv, have a shag!

larlypops · 16/05/2023 20:24

It may not be how you had planned but surely there must be things to do.
take a boat trip, snorkel, go for a nice dinner and drinks, explore.
no point moping around because you’ll just stress each other out and ruin it

Zone2NorthLondon · 16/05/2023 20:25

FabFitFifties · 16/05/2023 19:49

I didn't realise people still had holidays where they just sunbathed - I did it in my teens, because we'd been out all night, but I'd be bored stiff now. I'd get out and about, book some trips, hire that car OP.

after working all through covid pandemic 60+ hour a week I booked air b&b and we literally did nothing
no trips
kids slept and played outside
i literally read,cooked,sat in the garden
…it was bliss. Doing hee haw. No interruptions. No calls,no colleagues,no emergencies

CountessWindyBottom · 16/05/2023 20:25

Yes, you're being completely unreasonable. You dictated where you go and are now whinging about it. Why can't you read if it's chilly? And why isn't he allowed on his phone? Surely you can just have lots of sex, eat great food and relax.

ShowUs · 16/05/2023 20:33

YABVU

I cannot cope with moaners and someone moaning and being ungrateful constantly would have me seriously reconsidering the relationship.

It isn’t as hot as you expected.
Get over it.

How is moaning about it going to help?
It is actually making you (and definitely DH) feel worse than if you spent 10 mins having a moan and then got over it and decided to make the most of it.

I hate moaners and I can see why DH is going to spend time on his phone any chance he gets.

I hope you’re not usually like this because you sound incredibly difficult and you may find that the relationship comes to an end before the holiday does.

headstone · 16/05/2023 20:40

I think op is in Paxos it has been raining there and 18c. However Thursday-Saturday seem better. I’ve been to this island, v pretty but not much to do.

Dandymax1 · 16/05/2023 20:44

Make the most of it. We booked a week in Bulgaria many moons ago. The waether was only good 3 days but we went to local markets, bought crap and laughed at what we had bought. Sat on the balcony, drank a little (a lot) and just enjoyed it.
We also had a caravan hol years later. We paid extra for a veranda etc. It rained but we played daft games with a takeaway and still enjoyed it.

RampantIvy · 16/05/2023 20:46

FabFitFifties · 16/05/2023 19:49

I didn't realise people still had holidays where they just sunbathed - I did it in my teens, because we'd been out all night, but I'd be bored stiff now. I'd get out and about, book some trips, hire that car OP.

Really?
Don't be so naive.

I would get bored as well but loads of people do this. There is no need to be so morally superior.

chaosmaker · 16/05/2023 21:10

Usernamen · 15/05/2023 10:56

Two words: Greek food.

Stuff your face! If you gain weight that will help to keep you warm, so it’s win win. 😜

Also, I don’t know what your relationship is like, but could you not, um… spend more time in bed together?

Yes, just have sex to keep warm :D

Doggolover2 · 16/05/2023 21:10

If it was me I would get us both a cocktail and a board game just make the best of if. I kind of understand why you wouldn’t want phones but you can’t be making the rules is what it is and do the best with your free time xxx

ExpatAl · 16/05/2023 21:12

There is lots to do in Greece. Boat trips, hikes, museums. Jump on a bus and explore.
it’s May, surely you knew weather can be variable.

pollyglot · 16/05/2023 21:16

RampantIvy · Today 20:46
FabFitFifties · Today 19:49

I didn't realise people still had holidays where they just sunbathed - I did it in my teens, because we'd been out all night, but I'd be bored stiff now. I'd get out and about, book some trips, hire that car OP.
Really?
Don't be so naive.

I would get bored as well but loads of people do this. There is no need to be so morally superior.

I didn't realise that not sunbathing was an indicator of moral superiority - I had assumed that it also had something to do with the dangers of sun exposure. I wish the young would be a bit more proactive about minimising the risks before they end up like so many of the older generation - wrinkled, saggy and scarred.
And yes, IMO lying in the sun is boring, but hey...each to her own.

Lupiemumof1 · 16/05/2023 21:18

Oh you poor thing. I so get where you are coming from. You've spent a lot of money for nice hot relaxing holiday & you've got the opposite!
Tbh I'd be the exact same. I know it's easier said than done, but do try and make the most of the situation. (even if you are freezing ya bits off) 🙃. Book a spa to help you relax after all the tension and hopefull that will give you some clairty on what else you can both do.... Perhaps some Greek tradition of plate smashing.... Just a thought but maybe DH is just as disappointed and being in his phone, is his way of coping
(zoning out) 🤷🏽‍♀️. Best of luck lovely x

keffie12 · 16/05/2023 21:30

I'll share an experience of mine. In September 2007, my husband and I were going to Portugal. Note that this was at the same time as the Madeline McCann case. Jerry and Kate were flying home the day we went flew out.

The atmosphere was pretty toxic between the Brits and Portuguese. I really didn't want to be there. My husband said what your husband said. We will make the most of it.

I then switched my thinking round. That was my 2nd holiday that year, and I had/have so much.

I thought there are people in this world who don't get one meal a day to eat, let alone have two holidays a year.

I changed my attitude towards it, and the holiday was fine. I lived in the answer, not the problem. I hope it helps you think of it in a different way, too

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