Letting children wee in the night yes or no?

[ToWeeornotToWee]

Do you let your children wee during the night? I’m talking school age children who are old enough to hold out till morning.

Imagine the noise of them using the toilet wakes up the grown ups in the house disturbing their sleep.

Does that change your opinion?

Edited by MNHQ to add that there's a bit of a vital update from the OP that should be read before responding later in the thread

Read your update.
I would not send them to their dads, it's abuse

Hope they pissed all over his carpets

He is weird. We are a “if it’s yellow let it mellow” household re nocturnal pees as the plumbing is rattley as hell, and it doesn’t wake anyone up.

This is abuse, your poor poor children. What a bastard he is.

Yes of course. That is bordering on child cruelty.

This is abusive fucked up shit.

Obviously I would never stop my dc from getting up for a wee in the night, or getting a drink.

I'm so sorry OP, sounds horrible, look after your kids - take care

Social services. Now.

Absolutely this. They wouldn't be going.

Ridiculous. Would you lie there holding it in all night? They have a right to use the toilet regardless of the time. You can't dictate to people when they can/can't pee.

As far as I'm concerned, this is abusive. It's denying them their basic bodily functions. Doesn't matter your age, sometimes you have to go in the night! I always do, and always have.

If it were me I would tell him they won't be visiting again unless he lets them use the toilet whenever they like.

Apologies just read update
Ignore my previous post

Poor children, worried about staying with what should be one of the most trustworthy and protective people in their world.
Please keep them with you.

Yes, OP, YABVVU.

If it were very clanky old Victorian plumbing it might be reasonable to suggest flushing wait ‘til morning.

There's nothing more for me to add but echo everyone else - if you need a wee, you need a wee.
Surely being woken up momentarily by the flush is better than having to change wet sheets, sort out mattress etc. And if the flush is the problem - he can just tell them they don't have to flush then get up and do it first thing in the morning.
Your poor children.

That update from the OP is heartbreaking. I really wish you'd turned out to be a troll, the idea that a parent is exercising control in this way over kids is horrible.

In practical terms, you absolutely do have to take action. Using the toilet is a basic necessity. If someone needs to go in the night, so be it. Assuming you have some kind of access agreement in place with your ex I would be telling him that the kids won't visit overnight unless they are allowed to use the toilet, and I'd follow that up with solicitors if necessary.

Don't send your kids again.
Let him know why.
If he kicks up a fuss get some advice from SS.

They don’t go to their dads then. Protect your children from this abusive arse.

He’s an arsehole.

they can’t stay overnight unless he drops this rubbish (and even then I’d be concerned because this is not normal behaviour).

If you gotta go, you gotta go.

Would you be furious if the child wet the bed cos they couldn’t hold it any longer?

That’s abuse in my book.

Yes of course they should have a.wee if they need one!
Holding it in is not healthy

Sorry, should have read update.

It’s not ok

Do you have the same “rule” for overnight guests?