Letting children wee in the night yes or no?

[ToWeeornotToWee]

Do you let your children wee during the night? I’m talking school age children who are old enough to hold out till morning.

Imagine the noise of them using the toilet wakes up the grown ups in the house disturbing their sleep.

Does that change your opinion?

Edited by MNHQ to add that there's a bit of a vital update from the OP that should be read before responding later in the thread

I see it as a human right to be able to go to the toiket when needed. The bathroom is right next to my bedroom and if my dd goes to the loo in the night it wakes me up. But I'd never ever stop her. I'd never want her to be uncomfortable and/or possibly wet the bed.

Exactly; if they need to use the toile during the night then let them - the a;ternative surely wpuld be wet bedding, night attire and soaked matresses. If the noise of the flushing toilet is likely to disturb anyone, make it a rule that they don't flush if they jusy do a wee but they do flush if they do a poo.

He previously asked me if I would uphold the rule at mine as it would make it easier to enforce if we were consistent. Obviously I said 100% absolutely not. The noise wakes up his partner and he doesn’t believe they need to wee at night because they’re ‘dry’.

This person is in a professional job with safeguarding responsibility for hundreds of children.

I have been living under his controlling ways for many years and even now I am incredibly anxious about tackling this issue. As soon as he knows I am trying to take this further he will retaliate with all manner of accusations and threats.
I need to prepare for my mental health to be attacked and to be potentially ‘punished’ for protecting my own children.

I want to tread carefully and make sure I do the right thing in the right way. I can’t afford to make mistakes.

That is vile. Also it’s not out of the question your 10 year old could start her periods soon and that would be a massive heap of additional anxiety if she feels the bathroom is restricted.

how does he actually stop them though? It would be one thing encouraging them not to flush at night and another putting the fear of god into them not to use the bathroom or locking it in some way. What exactly is he saying/doing?

He is abusive.

This is horrifying. I, like many other people I'm sure, have always had to get up to wee at least once during the night and I'd be in tremendous discomfort and distress if I was prevented - to think of someone doing that to the vulnerable children in their care is really upsetting.

@ToWeeornotToWee if his partner is responsible for safeguarding children then I think her employer should be notified.
I can't see how preventing children from using the toilet when they need to isn't some form of abuse.

I think it’s fucking beyond cruel to forbid a child going to the toilet in the night.

my daughter had kidney issues and her nephrologist says that making them
hold it is really detrimental to the health of the kidneys and is likely to make them have urine infections.

I lust admit if someone’s child told me that they weren’t allowed to urinate what n the night I’d consider telling someone at social services.

If they need to go, they go! I have to go once or twice in the night, so a small child certainly can't be expected to hold it until morning, that's wrong.

Sorry I also meant to say, if they are caught getting up to the toilet they are shouted at and sent back to bed. This is what the children have told me.

This is obviously breaking my heart. I have raised it several times to no avail.

I mean this is besides the point but the damn partner can wear earplugs. Why on earth is their dad putting his partner's needs before his kids? Their natural needs? Poor little souls getting anxiety knowing they have to hold it. And I bet if they couldn't hold it and wet the bed they would get shouted at.

Surely they could end up with all kinds of bladder problems having to forcibly hold it in.

I'd get in touch with social services to ask for their help and advice.

Please read through the whole thread.

Honestly you're ridiculous.

I can't even imagine what you're thinking.

Like why would you stop anyone using the toilet?

Bizarre.

Women's shelter, police, get your shit and run!

Surely shouting at them is much more likely to wake up the partner than just letting them have a wee ffs.

Secondary school teacher?

Kidney infections can kill you! Let alone be horrible to deal with.

they say urine infections are one of the leading causes of sepsis!

I would say to their father 'This rule is insane and detrimental to their health. Either you use earplugs or the DC will no longer be staying overnight with you.'

Poor little mites. You just can’t let this continue.

Did you read the thread? Or even just op posts?

You should read the OP's posts

Sorry OP. Didn't read all your comments.

Your ex is a fucking idiot.

I speak as a bed wetter till my teens, and I can't for a minute imagine what he could s trying to achieve by this ridiculous rule.

Moronic.