Letting children wee in the night yes or no?

[ToWeeornotToWee]

Do you let your children wee during the night? I’m talking school age children who are old enough to hold out till morning.

Imagine the noise of them using the toilet wakes up the grown ups in the house disturbing their sleep.

Does that change your opinion?

Edited by MNHQ to add that there's a bit of a vital update from the OP that should be read before responding later in the thread

It is abuse.

ABUSE OF CHILDREN IS A CRIMINAL ACT.

See a solicitor today. Set a new court process in place.

Go to the police.

Do NOT allow them to return to his house until this has been satisfactorily resolved.

You would be surprised how high a bar cafcass have before they consider anything abuse. I mean, i agree with you.. but cafcass tend to call a lot of utterly abhorrent behaviour 'different parenting styles '

This makes me so sad.

If you need to go, you go.

Implement a no flush unless it's a number 2 rule. Job done.

Exactly.

People who are clearly very naive about the reality of the family courts need to stop shouting at op to withhold contact /go to court like its that simple

I mean. I wish it was that simple. It should be.

But going to family court to keep your children safe is like jumping down a rabbit hole where nothing makes sense any more. Cafcass care little about evidence, or the children's wellbeing .

Op, it's not easy and I wish you well. I can see you are trying your best and are backed into a difficult corner. Whatever decision you make, you are trying your best for your children

Your ex sounds like a pos.

Try to keep all contact with your ex to text messages for evidence. When your kids come home and tell you their dad was shouting at them for using the toilet or whatever else he does, text him and tell him the kids have told you what he's done and wait for his response. Hopefully in messages he will admit that he doesn't let them go to the toilet at night. Keep those messages.

Having access to a toilet whenever one is needed is imperative to someone's health. You can get a UTI for holding urine and a bowel blockage for holding faeces. Totally unreasonable to expect anyone to hold it, let alone a child.

And this comes from someone who is an incredibly light sleeper too.

It is pure abuse.

He is, and has never been a good father.

Gloves off now op, your poor children need you to advocate for them. Record them telling you about this, gather evidence- this is absolutely imperative. If you have texts or WA or instigate now ones asking about the dp waking and how the dc are struggling to accept his rules around night time loo visits. Do it today.
Get legal advice today.
I would contact the school and social services as soon as the evidence in place and ask for immediate assistance. You need proper support with this.

Of course, it would be cruel to force them to hold it!

Just read the update op. He is abusive. Please stop them going there

I hope you can get this sorted! How stressful for you all. No wonder they are getting tummy aches. Involving the school could be a good first step. Apologies not read everyone else's replies.

Just because he is a trusted person in his job, does not mean that he can get away with abuse. You are perfectly entitled to say something. Can you speak to the safeguarding officer at your dc’s school? They will have advice.

It is these types of people that really deserve to have the mask removed. They do mot automatically assume untouchable status.

WHY won't people who won't RTFT when it gets this long at least read the OP's posts?

There's no such thing as being "old enough" to hold your wee.. Stopping someone from going to the toilet when they need to go is abuse

This is appalling!

I've hardly ever gone all night without a pee, as a child or an adult (I do drink an awful lot of tea and water though).

What an awful thing to do to your kids. Totally abusive.

They wouldn't be sent there anymore, end of.
Why are you still sending them there?!

Don't judge op unless you have spent time in the family courts . FFS

Yes, just seen the family courts comment.
Ugh, what a mess, see it's not that easy now.
I'd be writing a diary of the times, dates and what the kids are saying

I’ve heard it all now. Even for frequently barmy MN this really is OTT!

And that will have fuck all sway..I had police reports, reports from doctors, reports from school (my children had made disclosures). None of that was as relevant as the fact cafcass ".had a lovely chat with dad over a cup of tea at his lovely flat'

I wish it was simple for op to protect her children, but it isnt

What kind of crazy person dictates when someone can wee. He sounds awful.

She's the one complaining about them going to the toilet at night.

Heard it all including op's updates?!

Slow news day?