DH has the life he wants...

[SadAboutItToday]

I've name changed for this as I love my DH and wouldn't want him to be upset!

But here's the thing...

My DH is exhausted. Our life is hectic and he is always tired and moany. I'm tired too (very) and have suggested many changes which he refuses to make. So I try and just be happy with what we have, given he won't let us change anything! :)

But today I'm a bit down that whenever I suggest something big, he always says no. The life I have is the life he wants (it's not the one I want). But he's the one that moans.

I wanted a third child. He said no. Fair enough - we both have to want it. But ... I kind of missed out. I'd always wanted 3 children :)

I wanted to change career. He said no (not directly, but let his wishes be known) because I have a good salary and he wants it to stay that way.

I wanted to move house. We can't afford where we live. I suggested other parts of the country (I can work anywhere) or abroad (I could work in most countries). He said no.

Yesterday I started dreaming of what life would be like if it was just me and the children and it was lovely! We'd move somewhere gorgeous! I'd get a job I enjoy not earning much! I'd be a chilled mummy and our children would love it (picture maybe living in the countryside, or by a beach, maybe abroad!) ... Back to reality and I have work to do tonight for a deadline tomorrow, a long working week with work into the night. Mounting bills, a moaning DH..

I love my DH and my children adore him, but sometimes it feels like I'd be so much freer and happier with out him as I could follow my own dreams.... (plus I wouldn't have a stressed out man about the house all the time!)

Anyone else ever feel this way?

I suggest some action plans. Disagree with your husband over the next week in clear language that says I don’t want to do your idea, I want to do my idea. Because you clearly disagree about major things so it sounds extremely unhealthy that you’ve never argued. Start arguing. You can still move. Think about it. Don’t be a doormat, a miserable doormat.

Fwiw the only regrets I have in life are the things I never did when I had the choice or could have chosen a path and I chose head over gut

Single parent friend woke up one day and decided to sell everything and move abroad. Even when the last of her stuff was taken to storage and her house was sold and she got in the car to drive away she had no idea where she would end up.

They travelled around Europe looking for somewhere they all loved

a few months later they arrived in a town. They walked along the beach and sat in a cafe and decided they all loved it there.

That was a few years ago and it is the best decision she ever made

The only plan she had was to sell up and drive to Dover and get on the ferry. Beyond that it was the open road and all of Europe to wander around.