Is this a dumpable offence?! AIBU or is he?!

[Beatendownmum]

Bit of background context here before the story begins -

This is my house, I pay 100% of the mortgage and bills. But he stays occasionally, sometimes a lot.

We’ve had a really lovely day with my DC (not his, he has no kids), I was really tired after a whole day out so went up to bed around 9ish. He stayed downstairs to watch Eurovision (each to their own and all that). Anyway he comes bursting into the bedroom waking me up at 11 saying the TV is messing up he NEEDS to watch the rest of it in the bedroom! He knows I don’t sleep well if TV is on in background, never have never will. Really quite insistent and panicky that he must watch the rest as he loves Eurovision and desperate pleas to watch it in the bedroom, I go and get in my DCs bottom bunk, now I’m still awake in bottom bunk while he is asleep in MY bed and I am LIVID!!! To me, this is another example of him being a bit of a selfish brat - there are other examples I mean another is only this week - he drops his car off at garage I collect him and he is absolutely fuming 1 of my kids is in the front seat - the garage is a few min drive from mine - who the bloody hell cares if you have to sit in the back of a car for few minutes?!

Anyway, I just wouldn’t do that to someone? If I was that bothered I’d watch it on my bloody phone downstairs and let my DP sleep!! I sometimes wonder if because he has never had children, he’s never had to put anybody else above himself which is why he can be a bit of a brat?! Although he was married before.

I had been on my own for a few years previous to this relationship, so I’m unsure if I’m being unreasonable or he is?!!

@Beatendownmum Wow well done you! All the best to you and your family. I'm very impressed :-)

Well done OP xx

Please can we have details of how you "removed him"? I am agog.

Oh, FO, mumof4andlovinglife.

YANBU to ditch him

YABVFU to say people without children can’t think of others

‘So desperate’! Jesus, the judgemental crap people come out with on MN. She is clearly NOT desperate as she is getting rid of him. FFS.

You are totally bossing your life! Total admiration for you, what a wonderful example you are for your children.

@mumof4andlovinglife their dad isn’t dead?! He’s just a piece of shit who walked out on them!! HIS CHOICE!! And this was 4 years ago!!

@Pukkapalm thank you so much, how lovely of you to say!

You have the wrong person @mumof4andlovinglife !!!!! Their dad is very much alive and still doing as he pleases without a care or thought for his kids.

Well done on getting rid of this tosser, OP.

@mumof4andlovinglife have you got more information about the OP you would like to share, you obviously know her so well.

Yes. mumof4andlovinglife ( a misnomer if I ever heard one) is either purposely making provocative comments for her own amusement or she is just plain nasty. Or both.

I can see why he’s no longer married

Thank you both, I imagine she spends her days judging people on mumsnet. It’s convenient this post about the kids dad dying from covid has disappeared as I’d love to see it! What utter shit.

@Beatendownmum I’m so glad to hear you have ended the relationship with this selfish man. How did he react when you asked him to leave?

I predict that if you decide this isn’t a dump-able offence, one will come around very soon anyway. He sounds selfish and immature.

@Kugela he was very upset, said he had realised what he had done was selfish and ridiculous. But I’m just not here for the apology or excuses, if you’re selfish you’re selfish I can’t see him being able to change the type of person he is. Nor would I expect him too it’s just him, I’m sure he will find someone else who is happy and willing to put up with it. It’s just not going to be me.

Troll is what they are

Well done OP.

You have clearly worked very hard to provide for your children.

This loser has no place in that set up.

You can be sure that someone who felt so confident as to curse and you and your child is not someone to have near your home and children.

He will be regretting overstepping and showing his hand.

I have no doubt a selfish lazy mean abusive man is his character.

The fact that you allowed him stay up to 4 nights a week so soon is worrying.

Too soon, and he also was mean.

Meanness goes to the core of a persons character.

His was nasty and mean.

You are well rid.

I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to contact you again.

He liked your set up.

Oh OP - so happy to hear your update! Well done you!

Hope the man child never tries to crawl back into your lives, you are doing great without any of his selfish shit.

Many years ago I used to live in a house share. The guy subletting the house was quite charming and attractive but there was something very dodgy about him. Long story cut short one day he confessed 'jokingly' that he was looking for a 'rich single mum', potentially slightly older. I knew straight away that wasn't a joke, he was lazy, got in trouble at his job and lost it, faked an injury to squeeze some money from insurance etc. so he very much would have enjoyed being a cocklodger, it was written all over him. Then had visa troubles, I think overstayed.

Eventually he went back to his country, got married within 3 months, shortly after had a baby, then divorced and now every few years he is engaged to a new woman.

Sadly there are men like that, they usually target strong, independent women.