To think friend was embarrassed by what I wore?

[bartygk]

I met up with friends for lunch and drinks. They were dressed casually, one was in a long silk kind skirt with trainers and the other two were in jeans.

I had on a black strap dress with a slit and heels, I saw friends eyes widen when I walked in and it made me worry I was overdressed compared to them.

See, @Hal9001 I'm mostly overdressed too because I love clothes and like to look nice. I don't own a pair of leggings and personally do not subscribe to the athleisure look. So, OP, if that's you, go for it - you won't embarrass friends, but they'll probably comment.

@steff13 the TKMaxx thing is because there was ( maybe still is ?) a department store chain in Northern England called TJHughes so it was to avoid confusion.

You made me do a double take, because I was sure I had seen TK Maxx in Melbourne and Adelaide. Double checked and yes, it's TK Maxx. Where are you that it's TJ Maxx??

@bartygk so you’re only really upset that they didn’t give your outfit some attention?

I was out for lunch with friends yesterday in a cocktail bar type place in Glasgow and can honestly say that I seen just about every outfit combination under the sun. Loads of really casual, loads of skyscraper heels and silky dresses and (in my opinion) far too many bum cheeks hanging out 🤣

I can honestly say that the only people I looked twice at was a girl wearing a skin tight, VERY short, VERY see through white strapless dress with over the knee white patent platform boots 😳
And a girl wearing a black long sleeved bodysuit - but with no trousers/skirt etc 😳 and wearing it with cowboy boots!
And still then, i only looked twice because I was thinking how ridiculous I would look in those outfits 😅

I'm in Sydney and it's TK Maxx here too

Maireas
I don't go for athleisure unless I'm walking the dog or working out but would say there's quite a wide window of what can be worn most places without being overdressed. It's not overdressed to like clothes, make an effort and look groomed and put together.

My way of thinking is about the context. If I'm going for lunch with friends, the outfit will be different than an evening dinner date. It would be totally possible to have a brilliant outfit that's well put together for lunch without overdressing.

I'm essentially here for more of this.

Oh goodness. I got myself confused. It is TK! Sorry It's been a long mothers day lunch!

No.

I'm not even sure 'Overdressing' is a thing.

Is it?

I hate hate hate, studied underdressing. But overdressed? Never.

It's only a thing if you are made to feel bad about it. Otherwise, it's just clothes.

I'm not even sure 'Overdressing' is a thing.
Is it?

I hate hate hate, studied underdressing. But overdressed? Never.

It's only a thing if you are made to feel bad about it. Otherwise, it's just clothes.

I'd say I'd not dress for lunch with friends the same way I would to a wedding or an evening date. A wedding and an evening date would be different too. I'd not walk my dogs on the muddy fields wearing the same thing I do for a business casual meeting, and wouldn't go to playgroup dressed how I would for evening drinks with friends.

It's possible to look groomed, stylish and well put together in clothes for different circumstances. There's quite a wide window for most things, which is why I think people notice when something is outside of it (either by being under dressed or over dressed).

Why shouldn't she?

Good for you for dressing up. I love dressing up and looking my best. Perhaps your friends felt underdressed compared to you? Don't stress it. If you have other details to divulge please do because on the evidence given in the OP we can't tell what's going on.

What counts as a cocktail place now anyway? As all pubs and bars seem to serve cocktails now.

I don’t know anyone who wears heels anymore tbh
I was in one yesterday, in jeans and trainers. It’s true that I never see anyone in heels anymore.

And of course you’d know that and it would be important to you to clarify! 😂

If it was a cocktail type place then YANBU, they were. What was the attire of other women there (not meaning your friends but any other women drinking there)?

It would cheer me up seeing my friends overdressed, I'd think good on them making such an effort, they must be in a good place.

I'd certainly not feel embarrassed, just happy for them.

It’s lovely that posters are cheering you on with “Go girl- you wear what you want, overdressing? No such thing!”

However there’s no evidence that op’s friends were judging her, NOTHING was said 🫤
I find that a little odd but Who knows why op’s dress didn’t garner any comments or attention?

I love looking my best I love making an effort
What makes you think the friends hadn’t made an effort and thought they looked their “best”
The outfit op describes her friend wearing - silk skirt- sounds fab.
Women don’t necessarily look their “best” in dresses and high heels do they?

SmileyClare
I agree with your post.

People can wear what they like. If they want to wear a slinky dress and heels to lunch and they feel good, they should go for it. It doesn't mean it isn't overdressed for the occasion, but if they're happy does it matter?

I also think the silk skirt sounded nice as well. There's nothing there that suggests the other friends didn't make an effort or look their best. They just didn't doll up in heels, which is also totally ok.

People can wear what they like as long as your comfortable.. they thought it was a casual outing and you thought different. It doesn't really matter.

Just a bit odd as mates yous didn't have a joke about it or one of you mention the slight differ of outfit choices

This definitely happened 👍

I go out to enjoy peoples company I really don't care what people wear or assume people care what I wear

I don't dress to impress anyone but me, maybe people need better friends if appearances is so important?

Maybe they were embarrassed that you showed them up 🤷‍♀️

There's different types of overdressing. There's overdressed meaning "daytime wedding guest/races" type of look, ie very fancy and a bit fussy but still a daytime look, and then there's overdressed meaning a more night-out look worn in the daytime, which there's nothing wrong with, but might catch people by surprise at first glance.

Yeah interesting first post OP.
maybe it’s because you’re a man.

I am a firm believer that if you are dressed differently to most people in any situation you should 'style it out'. Come across as totally unfazed and unbothered, you will gain respect for not giving a shit.

Cocktail bars are different beasts during the day. It does sound you were overdressed for the time of day but so what?