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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I've just done something which would shock a lot of Mumsnetters?

245 replies

EmmaGrundyForPM · 13/05/2023 14:33

From my reading on here, I've concluded that answering the door when you're not expecting someone is a complete no-no for the majority of MumsNetters.

The doorbell went at lunchtime, I wasn't expecting anyone, but I answered it anyway!

It was a man who was lost, didn't know the area, trying to find a local church where a funeral was being held. I explained where it was, where to park etc. He then asked if I could recommend a pub or somewhere where he could get changed as he'd just driven 3 hours.

So I offered him our spare room to change in, made him a cup of tea and left him to get on with it. He was very appreciative and has now set off for the Church.

No biggie, we don't have anything valuable to nick, he seemed very nice although a bit flustered about being lost / getting to the Church.

So have I just broken all the MN rules or would most people have done the same?

OP posts:
TheOriginalEmu · 13/05/2023 18:41

Secondwindplease · 13/05/2023 15:31

I’d have done exactly what you did OP without hesitation. Couple of years ago a cyclist broke down outside our rural house. I brought him in, gave him a cuppa and then my husband drove him and his bike to the train station half an hour ago.

The risk threshold on MN is practically zero and I do find it bizarre.

So he broke down a couple of years ago, and your husband just dropped him at the station half an hour ago? What have you been doing with him in the meantime….😧

MermaidEyes · 13/05/2023 18:45

So he broke down a couple of years ago, and your husband just dropped him at the station half an hour ago? What have you been doing with him in the meantime….😧

Look out for the Daily Mail Headline 'Couple kept me captive for two years before finally dropping me at the nearest train station' 😆

Secondwindplease · 13/05/2023 18:45

TheOriginalEmu · 13/05/2023 18:41

So he broke down a couple of years ago, and your husband just dropped him at the station half an hour ago? What have you been doing with him in the meantime….😧

Show quote history

Hahahah! This is why I shouldn’t type and chat.

It was half an hour later, not half an hour ago. This is not a cautionary tale for blokes who unsuspectingly enter strange women’s kitchens 🤣

Secondwindplease · 13/05/2023 18:50

MermaidEyes · 13/05/2023 18:45

So he broke down a couple of years ago, and your husband just dropped him at the station half an hour ago? What have you been doing with him in the meantime….😧

Look out for the Daily Mail Headline 'Couple kept me captive for two years before finally dropping me at the nearest train station' 😆

I’ve got visions of my husband tinkering with his bike for two years, trying to fix it, while I endlessly feed him tea and cake.

Whatonearthisgoingonnnn · 13/05/2023 18:50

If Daniel Craig knocked on my door with this exact reason then yes I’d absolutely 100% let him come into my house to get changed 😝

But otherwise no - way too many weirdos out there!!!

ShowUs · 13/05/2023 18:56

I love how if you read the word gullible upside down it looks like a cat!

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 13/05/2023 18:58

ShowUs · 13/05/2023 18:56

I love how if you read the word gullible upside down it looks like a cat!

I heard they were taking it out of the dictionary!

Dalekjastninerels · 13/05/2023 19:02

ShowUs · 13/05/2023 18:56

I love how if you read the word gullible upside down it looks like a cat!

😆

Backtonormalatlast · 13/05/2023 19:12

This thread is reminding me about a time over 20 years ago when my car was hit in a lane near to our village . I had three young children in the car and knocked at the closest house asking if I could call my husband. It was dark and the owner refused to let me use her phone ,I was left stranded until a car drove by and the guy bundled us all into his car and took us home . Never crossed my mind that the guy was a potential murderer but have never forgotten how angry I felt towards the home owner who refused to let me call my husband…what happened to humanity that day ?

Cherrysoup · 13/05/2023 19:38

Tosh and if it isn’t, you’re an idiot for allowing a stranger into your house.

MrsMcisaCt · 13/05/2023 19:43

You're a very trusting soul OP. I would have opened the door and given directions but that's all.

BadNomad · 13/05/2023 20:40

I'm guessing the actual reason you let him in has very little to do with his "safe" vibe, but rather because your DH was there. I really doubt you would have done that if you'd been alone.

Original poster
EmmaGrundyForPM · 13/05/2023 21:02

@BadNomad I. said above I wouldn't have let him in if I'd been home alone.

OP posts:
BadNomad · 13/05/2023 21:08

Which means him being a "middle aged, well spoken man who seemed really nice" had little to do with it. Because he would have still been a "middle aged, well spoken man who seemed really nice" if you had been on your own. You had no idea if he was safe, you were just relying on your DH to be a deterrent and to protect you. That is a dangerous risk to take.

2bazookas · 13/05/2023 21:17

"somewhere to get changed as he'd just driven three hours"?????
Not a long journey. Why wouldn't he have put on the funeral outfit before getting in the car?

Original poster
EmmaGrundyForPM · 13/05/2023 21:29

@2bazookas I have no idea, I didn't ask.

OP posts:
Aslanplustwo · 13/05/2023 21:30

Justalittlebitduckling · 13/05/2023 15:32

That’s a good point

Show quote history

It's hardly a good point when several posters have already stated that they have seen funerals in their area this Saturday. It's perfectly normal where I live. What is so special about Saturdays that there would be no funerals??

Aslanplustwo · 13/05/2023 21:35

Cherrysoup · 13/05/2023 19:38

Tosh and if it isn’t, you’re an idiot for allowing a stranger into your house.

What do you do if a tradesman comes to your house? Do you insist on meeting them several times before you let them in?

As your DH was there OP I think you did a kind thing, and there's nothing wrong with it. Mind you, I live in a country where some people think nothing of inviting strangers - usually from overseas - to their homes for a meal, and sometimes even to stay overnight.

Btw - if I'm at work I actually give tradesmen a key to my place and let them get on with it, completely alone.

Cherrysoup · 13/05/2023 21:37

Aslanplustwo · 13/05/2023 21:35

What do you do if a tradesman comes to your house? Do you insist on meeting them several times before you let them in?

As your DH was there OP I think you did a kind thing, and there's nothing wrong with it. Mind you, I live in a country where some people think nothing of inviting strangers - usually from overseas - to their homes for a meal, and sometimes even to stay overnight.

Btw - if I'm at work I actually give tradesmen a key to my place and let them get on with it, completely alone.

Show quote history

Hardly the same, I think you're being silly there.

ShowUs · 13/05/2023 21:46

Aslanplustwo · 13/05/2023 21:35

What do you do if a tradesman comes to your house? Do you insist on meeting them several times before you let them in?

As your DH was there OP I think you did a kind thing, and there's nothing wrong with it. Mind you, I live in a country where some people think nothing of inviting strangers - usually from overseas - to their homes for a meal, and sometimes even to stay overnight.

Btw - if I'm at work I actually give tradesmen a key to my place and let them get on with it, completely alone.

Show quote history

A tradesman is someone you seek out and know at the very least their company name.

A tradesman also doesn’t knock on random doors asking for the nearest pub, when most people would have planned where they were going to get changed or just used their phone/ sat nav to find the nearest one.

Aslanplustwo · 13/05/2023 21:53

Cherrysoup · 13/05/2023 21:37

Hardly the same, I think you're being silly there.

Show quote history

Why - how do you know the tradesman isn't light fingered? If he's a MAN he is surely capable of anything, according to MN.

Cherrysoup · 13/05/2023 21:58

Aslanplustwo · 13/05/2023 21:53

Why - how do you know the tradesman isn't light fingered? If he's a MAN he is surely capable of anything, according to MN.

Show quote history

Either you're drunk or on a wind up.

Aslanplustwo · 13/05/2023 22:00

A tradesman also doesn’t knock on random doors asking for the nearest pub, when most people would have planned where they were going to get changed or just used their phone/ sat nav to find the nearest one.

There are people, believe it or not, who don't have a sat nav, or who wouldn't have the faintest idea how to find directions on their phones. I am often stopped by someone in a car to ask directions to a certain street, the hospital, etc.

As for tradesmen - people have been assaulted/killed by taxi drivers, and in the case of the UK I believe even the police - why is a tradesman so above suspicion?

ShowUs · 13/05/2023 22:04

Aslanplustwo · 13/05/2023 22:00

A tradesman also doesn’t knock on random doors asking for the nearest pub, when most people would have planned where they were going to get changed or just used their phone/ sat nav to find the nearest one.

There are people, believe it or not, who don't have a sat nav, or who wouldn't have the faintest idea how to find directions on their phones. I am often stopped by someone in a car to ask directions to a certain street, the hospital, etc.

As for tradesmen - people have been assaulted/killed by taxi drivers, and in the case of the UK I believe even the police - why is a tradesman so above suspicion?

But surely if you don’t have a sat nav or map on your phone and you knew you were driving 3 hours to a funeral and needed somewhere to get changed, you would have planned it before leaving.

Aslanplustwo · 13/05/2023 22:05

Cherrysoup · 13/05/2023 21:58

Either you're drunk or on a wind up.

Show quote history

I don't drink, and it's not a wind up. There are so many posters on MN, and even on this thread, who think just because someone is a MAN he is a threat (I am using capitals because that's what a pp did). I have never in real life met people who are so suspicious of every man they see, nor have I met anyone who doesn't answer their door to someone they aren't expecting. I actually think it is a perculiarly English phobia.