to think I've just done something which would shock a lot of Mumsnetters?

[EmmaGrundyForPM]

From my reading on here, I've concluded that answering the door when you're not expecting someone is a complete no-no for the majority of MumsNetters.

The doorbell went at lunchtime, I wasn't expecting anyone, but I answered it anyway!

It was a man who was lost, didn't know the area, trying to find a local church where a funeral was being held. I explained where it was, where to park etc. He then asked if I could recommend a pub or somewhere where he could get changed as he'd just driven 3 hours.

So I offered him our spare room to change in, made him a cup of tea and left him to get on with it. He was very appreciative and has now set off for the Church.

No biggie, we don't have anything valuable to nick, he seemed very nice although a bit flustered about being lost / getting to the Church.

So have I just broken all the MN rules or would most people have done the same?

The main reason I dont like unexpected visitors is because my house is only tidy enough for visitors when I know they're coming and have had chance to clean. Sounds like you were more than visitor ready if you invited a stranger in to judge get changed in your spare room!

I think what mumsnet is great at is empowering us to do whatever we want and showing a variety of opinions. So there's mine!

(I'd probably only do the kind favour you did for the man if I had at least one other adult in the house with me though)

Ah, I see that your husband was home...

That’s what I thought too

It's not shocking but I do think it was inadvisable.

You’re crazy! You could have lost your life for that! You know that psychopaths and people who go out their way to kill do exist and are not just from the telly!

Déan deifir anois, random stranger, craic's over and I've got some Mumsnet stirring to be getting on with

That was incredibly kind of you. I imagine if you had sensed danger you wouldn't have let him in.

Exactly @RowenaRosewood And why could he just not get changed in his car like normal people. Lots of people got changed in their car or the toilets at an all day wedding I went to recently. (From their formal wedding attire to the night-do stuff.) They didn't knock on some rando's door and ask if they knew anywhere they could change!

I once let a teenager in to use my loo as he knocked on my door asked for his friend (we had just moved in and was name of kid who used to live there). He was desperate for the loo and looked to be 12/13 and asked so nicely.

I would not let someone in our home but your husband was there and you helped a man out who was going to a funeral and needed to change but in future I would just give directions and leave it at that but good karma will come back to you for helping the man. When I was growing up the key was always in our front door on the main street and people just came in and out, never had a bit of privacy, my poor mum was always making tea and food for people but she always had a smile on her face.

I’m guessing a 12/13 year old couldn’t overpower you unlike an older teen boy/fully grown man.

Reckless behaviour.

You were alone and opened your home to a stranger.

You are lucky you did not let in someone who wanted to rob/rape/kill you.

And if you think that is being overdramatic, you are incredibly naive.

@SecretsIWouldNeverTell he didn't knock on the door to ask if I knew somewhere he could change. He knocked because he was lost and couldn't work out where the Church was. The Church is in the town centre, quite tricky to find as there is a one-way system, and there's no parking nearby even when you do find it.

So he was asking about how to find the Church and where to park. When I explained all that he then asked if there was a pub or cafe where he could change. Thats when I offered the spare room.

I'd have done the same op if I sensed no weird vibes.

Last summer I picked up a young man who was hitch hiking - such a rare thing to see these days I find - and I lived to tell the tale too. He on the other hand.... 🤣

Who needs to change before going to a funeral? He had only been driving three hours.

My sentiments exactly.

Answering the door is normal. Inviting a total stranger into your home to undress and change their clothes is risky behaviour. Male or female there’s no way I’d do it.

Offering to have him change in your house is quite frankly weird and as the bloke I would also have been very wary. No wonder he looked surprised.

If he had time to change and time for a cup of tea then he had time to go to use the pub loos.

Do you often put yourself in potential danger?

Remember murderers and rapists and thieves don’t look like murderers rapists or thieves.

They all have plausible excuses to get you to take your guard down.

And just because you don’t think you have anything to steal doesn’t mean you you have nothing worth stealing. Information/bank details/credit card numbers etc are all worth money in the right hands

If you think OP is bad - listen to this; Years ago, late teens - a friend of mine (call her A) told me about her weekend. Here's how it went:

She got pissed with another friend of ours in a pub up in central london. Allowed a sightly smelly odd looking bloke to buy her drinks. He sat with them uninvited. A managed to let slip her parents were away for the weekend and she was home alone. Other friend went home by bus, A made her way to the underground station. Bloke followed her. Got on the same train as her. A threw up on the train, got off, and made her way up to street level to get a cab. Bloke went with her ''to make sure she was ok''.

She hailed a cab and bloke got in too 😳A too pissed to care. She got out of cab at her (posh) address. Bloke got out too. A says goodbye thanks for seeing me home. Bloke asks to pop in to use loo. She says yes !! 😳😳

Once in the flat she goes straight to bed yelling for him to let himself out when he's done 😳She's lying in bed (all sicky smelling) and bloke appears in her bedroom doorway NAKED 😵 He asks to get in bed and she says bugger off and goes back to (drunken) sleep 😵😵

In the morning she wakes up and he's on the sofa and his sicky (her sick it turns out) trousers are in the bath tub in water 🤔

She says you've got to leave, i'm going to work.
He says go and buy me a pair of trousers and i will.
She does - goes out buys trousers, bungs him the trousers and leaves for work saying shut door when you go.

She gets home from work and he's had breakfast, washed up, binned his trousers, washed the bath and gone ......

By the time she'd finished telling me all this my jaw was on the floor. She was lucky to be alive/unraped!

Very kind thing to do. I can see it happening quite easily where I’m from in Ireland. He probably would have been invited to stay for dinner!

Yes, no lock. There is a bolt on the inside that we use sometimes at night(Mr Bee lost his key and then mine, then for reason best known to himself, removed the lock but didn't replace it). The likelihood of anyone wandering in is vanishingly small, though. There is an inner door which has a lock of sorts, but only one key. There was never been a burglary in the 30 years I've lived here, and my dog would warn me if anyone was around who shouldn't be.

You'd be horrified if you knew where we keep the car keys!

I agree that this is just a really weird brag. Did you expect trumpets and accolades?

I also can’t imagine many people knocking at some random house to ask for directions. You’d stop at a garage or shop and ask in there surely.

Weird all round really.

I think you've done a very nice thing. Thank you for being such a kind person.

Seems that it still works in eliciting praise. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Only total pushovers people pleasers think they owe "friendship" to any random that knocks on their door.