Page 6 | to think I've just done something which would shock a lot of Mumsnetters?

CremeEggThief · 13/05/2023 16:09

To be fair it wouldn't take much to shock most of Mumsnet, OP. 🤣

You did something kind, but possibly a little naive.

HarrietJet · 13/05/2023 16:09

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 13/05/2023 16:07

I think you've done a very nice thing. Thank you for being such a kind person.

Why are you thanking some random on Mumsnet? 😂

dontgobaconmyheart · 13/05/2023 16:10

I don't think inviting a random man into your home to change and use the facilities is any less odd or necessary/unnecessary than refusing to answer the door if you don't feel like doing it or feel concerned about who it is.

It is very mumsnetty of you to come online and start a stealth-boasty type of thread about it though OP so I'm not sure you've escaped unscathed.

Chickenkeev · 13/05/2023 16:11

Bobbliest · 13/05/2023 16:06

Very kind thing to do. I can see it happening quite easily where I’m from in Ireland. He probably would have been invited to stay for dinner!

In Ireland too, it almost wouldn't occur to you not to ask them in!

NoParticularPattern · 13/05/2023 16:11

I live in an incredibly rural and very very low crime rate area. Like I’m talking the most exciting thing that’s happened round here was someone’s tractor mounted hedge cutter got nicked 10 years ago. Absolutely no way would I be letting some randomer into the house to get changed. Sure I’d answer the door and I’d give directions, but absolutely not to letting them in my house.

PuppyMonkey · 13/05/2023 16:12

Laiste · 13/05/2023 16:06

If you think OP is bad - listen to this; Years ago, late teens - a friend of mine (call her A) told me about her weekend. Here's how it went:

She got pissed with another friend of ours in a pub up in central london. Allowed a sightly smelly odd looking bloke to buy her drinks. He sat with them uninvited. A managed to let slip her parents were away for the weekend and she was home alone. Other friend went home by bus, A made her way to the underground station. Bloke followed her. Got on the same train as her. A threw up on the train, got off, and made her way up to street level to get a cab. Bloke went with her ''to make sure she was ok''.

She hailed a cab and bloke got in too 😳A too pissed to care. She got out of cab at her (posh) address. Bloke got out too. A says goodbye thanks for seeing me home. Bloke asks to pop in to use loo. She says yes !! 😳😳

Once in the flat she goes straight to bed yelling for him to let himself out when he's done 😳She's lying in bed (all sicky smelling) and bloke appears in her bedroom doorway NAKED 😵 He asks to get in bed and she says bugger off and goes back to (drunken) sleep 😵😵

In the morning she wakes up and he's on the sofa and his sicky (her sick it turns out) trousers are in the bath tub in water 🤔

She says you've got to leave, i'm going to work.
He says go and buy me a pair of trousers and i will.
She does - goes out buys trousers, bungs him the trousers and leaves for work saying shut door when you go.

She gets home from work and he's had breakfast, washed up, binned his trousers, washed the bath and gone ......

By the time she'd finished telling me all this my jaw was on the floor. She was lucky to be alive/unraped!

Oh dear.

Kennykenkencat · 13/05/2023 16:12

I had a builder come round once to give me a quote on something. He had his apprentice with him

Halfway through my explanation whilst stood in the kitchen he butted in and asked if his apprentice could use the loo.

I said sure and pointed to the only bathroom in the house just off the kitchen. He then asked if the apprentice could use the upstairs bathroom and I said we didn’t have one.. It then became very awkward as he clearly wasn’t there to quote on a job and the apprentice went to use the bathroom. And then they couldn’t get out of the house quick enough.

MaryJean87 · 13/05/2023 16:13

I open the door, unless it's late at night or I can see out the window that it's a sales or charity person. I'd never let someone in who I didn't know. Harmless or not I don't want a random person wandering round my house.

crazycatladyof6 · 13/05/2023 16:13

I’d have done exactly this

Jitterybugs · 13/05/2023 16:14

BigglyBee · 13/05/2023 15:26

I'm a bit lax about security. My front door hasn't had a lock on it for 17 years, for example. I would always answer the door unless I knew that my SIL was on the other side of it. However, even with Fang the killer sheepdog at my side, there is no bloody way I would invite a strange man into my home to remove his clothes (even if he would immediately replace them!).

Do you have house insurance? If you do you’d be as well to save yourself some money and cancel it as it’s invalid if you have no lock on your door.

Survey99 · 13/05/2023 16:16

HarrietJet · 13/05/2023 16:08

Only total pushovers people pleasers think they owe "friendship" to any random that knocks on their door.

Show quote history

It isn't about being a pushover, it is about going out of your way to show a bit of kindness that took 5 mins out of your day, you knew was low risk, but meant a hell of a lot to another person. These little acts of kindness, are infectious and make the world a nicer place.

It also feels good to help someone in need, even if you don't know them, maybe you should try it one day.

Clarabell77 · 13/05/2023 16:16

Skinnermarink · 13/05/2023 14:38

Also I’ve never heard of a Christian funeral on a Saturday before 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve been to at least one on a Saturday.

SecretsIWouldNeverTell · 13/05/2023 16:17

HarrietJet · 13/05/2023 16:09

Why are you thanking some random on Mumsnet? 😂

Show quote history

Why, it's because they are KIND @HarrietJet Soooooooo KIND........ 😆

Laiste · 13/05/2023 16:19

@PuppyMonkey you sound sceptical, and I don't blame you, but it's 100% true.
It was early '90s. I've never forgotten it, and the older i get (with DDs of my own now) the more the whole thing horrifies me!

Original poster

EmmaGrundyForPM · 13/05/2023 16:19

@dontgobaconmyheart yes, indeed, I knew I'd be judged but I didn't think I'd be accused of a stealth brag 🤣. Which given how long I've been on MN is very naive of me.

Brilliant username btw

OP posts:

Kyliealwayshadthebestdisco · 13/05/2023 16:19

@Chickenkeev I’m from N Ireland and am a bit bemused at this whole thread and people’s reactions, where I come from this is simply being a kind and neighbourly person! I wouldn’t invite this stranger in these days out of an abundance of caution as I’m a single mother with an abusive ex-husband and am much more wary of men generally than I used to be, plus I have a child in the house. But I absolutely would invite him in to change if I was married and had a husband at home at the time in the rare event that this man on the way to a funeral was actually here as part of some dastardly plan to rape me in my own home or whatever, and wouldn’t think much of it at all.

TheFTrain · 13/05/2023 16:20

This is bizarre. I presume everyone has a maps app on their phone and I'd also wonder why he didn't just ask somebody he passed on the street.

SecretsIWouldNeverTell · 13/05/2023 16:20

Survey99 · 13/05/2023 16:16

It isn't about being a pushover, it is about going out of your way to show a bit of kindness that took 5 mins out of your day, you knew was low risk, but meant a hell of a lot to another person. These little acts of kindness, are infectious and make the world a nicer place.

It also feels good to help someone in need, even if you don't know them, maybe you should try it one day.

Show quote history

Yeah everyone who doesn't help random strangers knocking on the door and let them into their HOME is just such a rude and unpleasant person who needs to try being a lot nicer. And be especially NICE if you are a woman. Because that's what iccle women should do. PMSL .. Just do one eh? 😆

momager1 · 13/05/2023 16:20

@EmmaGrundyForPM You are lovely. Much to my husband's dismay, I would have done the same. Your husband was home. I am assuming no toddlers or small children running around where he was dressing. This is what is missing in our world. Kind People. Unfortunately a minority of horrible people have ruined it for the genuinely honest nice people . Thank you for helping that man.

SecretsIWouldNeverTell · 13/05/2023 16:21

Kyliealwayshadthebestdisco · 13/05/2023 16:19

@Chickenkeev I’m from N Ireland and am a bit bemused at this whole thread and people’s reactions, where I come from this is simply being a kind and neighbourly person! I wouldn’t invite this stranger in these days out of an abundance of caution as I’m a single mother with an abusive ex-husband and am much more wary of men generally than I used to be, plus I have a child in the house. But I absolutely would invite him in to change if I was married and had a husband at home at the time in the rare event that this man on the way to a funeral was actually here as part of some dastardly plan to rape me in my own home or whatever, and wouldn’t think much of it at all.

Oh dear God, this thread is going full on batshit now. I'm out! 😂

Kyliealwayshadthebestdisco · 13/05/2023 16:21

@Survey99 it’s not being a pushover, this is SUCH an English point of view.

SecretsIWouldNeverTell · 13/05/2023 16:21

momager1 · 13/05/2023 16:20

@EmmaGrundyForPM You are lovely. Much to my husband's dismay, I would have done the same. Your husband was home. I am assuming no toddlers or small children running around where he was dressing. This is what is missing in our world. Kind People. Unfortunately a minority of horrible people have ruined it for the genuinely honest nice people . Thank you for helping that man.

Your husband sounds VERY sensible. At least one of the 2 of you are.

BigglyBee · 13/05/2023 16:21

Jitterybugs · 13/05/2023 16:14

Do you have house insurance? If you do you’d be as well to save yourself some money and cancel it as it’s invalid if you have no lock on your door.

Show quote history

No, I don't think so. Longer story than the lost lock, but there will be both a lock and insurance when my name is on the deeds.

Dedodee · 13/05/2023 16:22

MN is so weird.
I once expressed surprise that a woman had gone up to a hotel bedroom with a man she had just met and was told I was judgemental.

The OP, whose dh is home, offers a man a room to change in and is accused of reckless behaviour.

I think pp's change their opinion depending whether there is an r in the month.

AgnesX · 13/05/2023 16:22

EmmaGrundyForPM · 13/05/2023 14:33

From my reading on here, I've concluded that answering the door when you're not expecting someone is a complete no-no for the majority of MumsNetters.

The doorbell went at lunchtime, I wasn't expecting anyone, but I answered it anyway!

It was a man who was lost, didn't know the area, trying to find a local church where a funeral was being held. I explained where it was, where to park etc. He then asked if I could recommend a pub or somewhere where he could get changed as he'd just driven 3 hours.

So I offered him our spare room to change in, made him a cup of tea and left him to get on with it. He was very appreciative and has now set off for the Church.

No biggie, we don't have anything valuable to nick, he seemed very nice although a bit flustered about being lost / getting to the Church.

So have I just broken all the MN rules or would most people have done the same?

It was incredibly kind of you. I'm guessing he came over as being quite desperate and you live in a smallish place?

It's heartwarming to hear stories like that although some people will think you're bonkers etc.