to think I've just done something which would shock a lot of Mumsnetters?

[EmmaGrundyForPM]

From my reading on here, I've concluded that answering the door when you're not expecting someone is a complete no-no for the majority of MumsNetters.

The doorbell went at lunchtime, I wasn't expecting anyone, but I answered it anyway!

It was a man who was lost, didn't know the area, trying to find a local church where a funeral was being held. I explained where it was, where to park etc. He then asked if I could recommend a pub or somewhere where he could get changed as he'd just driven 3 hours.

So I offered him our spare room to change in, made him a cup of tea and left him to get on with it. He was very appreciative and has now set off for the Church.

No biggie, we don't have anything valuable to nick, he seemed very nice although a bit flustered about being lost / getting to the Church.

So have I just broken all the MN rules or would most people have done the same?

If you are female, and at home on your own, it was an extremely unwise thing to do from a personal safety perspective to invite a male stranger into your home. Directing him to the nearest pub would have been a perfectly acceptable thing for you to have done.

I'm not saying the above because I'm commenting on MN, I wouldn't recommend anyone do what you did in a real-life scenario either.

It’s really not. It’s not something you are comfortable with, which is fine but assuming good intentions isn’t stupid or crazy. Sometime in the future some stranger thinking that way may even help you when you are having a bad day.

This a completely different scenario to the OP's, and was a very kind gesture, given the situation.

Give directions, sure. But WTAF was he getting changed into that required a man to change clothes??!!! What an incredibly fucking stupid thing to do and it sounds like bullshit to me. Did you offer your bank cards or car to him too. FFS.

There's been a funeral at a church near me today.

You did a nice thing and the fact of the matter is that nothing terrible happened so it’s all good. You never know he might pop back with a bottle of wine or some flowers as a thank you.

OP, I would always answer my door (except late at night) but I would never invite an unknown male into my house. This is weird and dangerous.

Would you have let him in if he was a different race , unattractive or deformed looking ? These are the important questions ..

Your tone seems to suggest that only MNetters would be shocked by this, and that "normal" people would not. You sound a bit braggy that you did something that MNetters would think was barmy. Why? It was a stupid thing to do. If you asked any random member of the public if it was a stupid thing to do, they'd have agreed it was. What's to brag about?

WTAF? Why would you do this? As pps have said, what a peculiar humble-brag.

What's the point of this thread, seriously?

Yeah.

Someone probably did knock on the door and that was the inspiration for the story.

WTAF? 😂

Not sure I would let a stranger into my house to change, but on two separate occasions I have had lost people call to the door. One was looking for a local sports club, it wasn't far away but complicated to explain so I got in my car and told him to follow in his. The other guy had an appointment to view a flat that was a couple of miles away and he was on foot so I brought him in my car. It happened that i wasn't particularly busy on either occasion so it just seemed the decent thing to do.

I would’ve answered through the doorbell, I wouldn’t have let a complete stranger get changed in my home though! That was really dangerous and stupid.

I would’ve given him directions to the public toilets in the petrol station near us.

And when he left all the neighbours stood outside their doors and applauded the OP

It's not "a complete no-no" to answer the door, nor are there "MN rules" around doing so. As you observed, some posters here have sometimes said that they do not answer the door when not expecting someone and there have been various explanations for that. Fears about safety when living alone or at home alone, effects of anxiety and/or PTSD, desire to protect privacy, sleeping children, and working from home and not able or wishing to be interrupted are some of the reasons given. If you do enjoy opening the door, you are perfectly free to do so; I do not believe that MNHQ will disable your account for doing so but neither will they provide an inordinate amount of attention and approval in response.

Sometimes humans just have to accept that other humans will do things differently from the way one does, for any or no reason. If you find that people on MN or any other online forum seem quicker to "admit" to not answering an unexpected knock or ring, it may be worth reflecting on whether that's symptomatic of some weird goady stigma attached to people who do not feel that they wish to answer the door on command, and whether or not you might be contributing to that stigma.

There used to be a lot of superstition surrounding funerals on Fridays (my MIL was convinced that if a grave was filled on a Friday, there would be 3 more before the next Friday). But Saturday funerals are quite normal and make it easier for most people to attend.

Congratulations! I do wonder (assuming any of this actually happened), if you did it at least partly so you could come on MN and gloat about how very unMumsnetty you are?

I’ve driven past one today and was surprised as you

I'm a bit lax about security. My front door hasn't had a lock on it for 17 years, for example. I would always answer the door unless I knew that my SIL was on the other side of it. However, even with Fang the killer sheepdog at my side, there is no bloody way I would invite a strange man into my home to remove his clothes (even if he would immediately replace them!).

I thought the same!

That's the sort of thing that'd happen in my neighbourhood.

I always answer my front door, even though I grew with a DM who wouldn't let us near it

After reading this, I will take special pride the next time in completely ignoring the next rando who knocks the door (which rarely happens when you live in an isolated location down a dirt and gravel track). I probably won't even need to hear his accent to make my decision to ignore.

Not being willing to allow a strange man into your bedroom is not a ‘mumsnet thing’. It’s a ‘having a brain’ thing.

If I was him I would not want to be invited up into a strange couple’s home either. I would think there was something weird about them.