to think I've just done something which would shock a lot of Mumsnetters?

[EmmaGrundyForPM]

From my reading on here, I've concluded that answering the door when you're not expecting someone is a complete no-no for the majority of MumsNetters.

The doorbell went at lunchtime, I wasn't expecting anyone, but I answered it anyway!

It was a man who was lost, didn't know the area, trying to find a local church where a funeral was being held. I explained where it was, where to park etc. He then asked if I could recommend a pub or somewhere where he could get changed as he'd just driven 3 hours.

So I offered him our spare room to change in, made him a cup of tea and left him to get on with it. He was very appreciative and has now set off for the Church.

No biggie, we don't have anything valuable to nick, he seemed very nice although a bit flustered about being lost / getting to the Church.

So have I just broken all the MN rules or would most people have done the same?

You did a kind thing. Would MN approve if one of their DC was in need of help?
My early 20's DC was hopelessly lost going to a hospital appointment. They went to ask for directions in a church hall, which was full of elderly women doing churchy things, one of whom kindly drove my DC to the hospital.

This isn't the point of the thread, but perhaps in less isolated areas, Saturdays are usually reserved for weddings in a lot of churches. Here (far away from civilisation), weddings have always been on Fridays, to avoid the "horrors" of drinking/enjoyment on the Sabbath, since no wedding ever stopped at midnight. Most funerals didn't either, but I didn't write the rules!

😂

I’d have done exactly what you did OP without hesitation. Couple of years ago a cyclist broke down outside our rural house. I brought him in, gave him a cuppa and then my husband drove him and his bike to the train station half an hour ago.

The risk threshold on MN is practically zero and I do find it bizarre.

There is absolutely no way in hell I would let a strange man into my house to change. He could’ve attacked you or he could be casing out the place to come back later.

He could be called Jeeves and wear a top hat and monocle for all I care. He still wouldn’t be coming into my house!

That’s a good point

@BigglyBee

Your front door doesn't have a lock on it?! As in someone could theoretically just open it and walk in day or night?

In my area, there are NEVER funerals on Saturdays OR Sundays. Saturdays are reserved for weddings, and Sundays are reserved for Sunday services (obvs!) Holy Communion, Family Service, Messy Church, Celebration Praise, Evensong etc... Been here where I live now - 5 minutes walk from our Church, for about 12 years, NEVER known a funeral on a Saturday (OR Sunday.)

If my DH was in I would. On my own with kids I would answer and give directions but not invite in.
People on here are so unfriendly! There are risks to everything but if you felt happy to offer you must have felt he was legit.

Some of the older generation (born before the 1940s,) did have some weird superstitions. My nan used to have a superstition, that you would have bad luck if you cut your fingernails or toenails on a Friday. ALSO, that you must say 'white rabbits' as soon as you wake in the morning, on the first day of each month... I know, absolutely batshit. 🙃

I wouldn't have invited an unknown man in to my house if alone, but I see you had DH with you.

This comment is almost weirder than the OP

Oh FFS. So people not letting some random f*cking MAN who they have never seen before, into their house, and bedrooms are SO UNFRIENDLY!

Just jog on eh?

If I was him I would have said, thanks for the offer, but no thank you (to getting changed in your house) as it sounds odd.

Don't most men drive in their wedding guest attire and then slip on the jacket when they arrive?

This. ^ It's as weird as fuck to have let this random man in. Very odd. And even odder, putting a thread on mumsnet about it! That's if it even happened.

Youre a very kind soul. I would only do this if my husband was at home too.

@Truestorypeeps it was a funeral not wedding.

I’m attending a funeral (UK) next Saturday morning 🤷🏽‍♀️

I would probably have done the same as you OP (including making judgements based on appearance).

I used to hitch hike and pick up hitch hikers back in the ‘80s. Met some lovely people. Didn’t once even have someone make me feel uncomfortable, let alone anything bad happen to me.

Well done . Something I would do myself . I always find it weird people don’t answer the door . The only thing it always comes to mind is they owe list of money and are scared it’s bailiffs lol ( I know it’s nit the case but for some reason that’s where my brain goes )

That's really lovely 😍

Sounds like the start of a porn or murder film to me.

(Not read the entire FT, so apols if this isn't the uniquely funny comment it is in my head)

All we know about him from this thread is he's "a random bloke". But IRL you have more of a sense of what they're like. I do open my door to strangers. Most of the time they're chuggers or represent local churches. 99 out of 100 times I say thanks but no thanks and shut the door firmly. One time I invited her in for a cup of tea and a chat. My instincts, and the fact that she was doing a survey for the local C of E church, told me that this would be a safe and rewarding thing to do, and indeed she was lovely. I was alone in the house, unlike the OP.

A woman I'd never met once asked me if U could keep an eye on her learning disabled son for 15 minutes in the local playground while she dashed to the shops. Any MNer would say that's mad, but she'd judged that her child would be safe with me and she was completely correct.

Same difference then.

It was a man who was lost, didn't know the area, trying to find a local church where a funeral was being held. I explained where it was, where to park etc. He then asked if I could recommend a pub or somewhere where he could get changed as he'd just driven 3 hours.

The more I think of it the more I think this is a crock of 💩. Who doesn’t plan beforehand where they will change after driving 3 hours? Also who doesn’t have a mobile/satnav to find directions to church/parking? Plus if you really needed to ask directions you’d ask someone in the street or someone in their front garden etc