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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To be appalled by school toilet restrictions

300 replies

GoodWitch65 · 13/05/2023 00:45

Had a period talk with my DD age 11 and mentioned to have a pouch with sanitary products to be kept in her school bag just in case. She told me they are not allowed to use toilets at school during the class, only during the break. I was very surprised, growing up in European country this was never a problem in my school, everyone was allowed to use toilets whenever they needed. Spoke to a friend of mine, her kids go to another school, apparently this a standart practice I just can't wrap my head around how and why? My friend's DS used to have frequent kidney infections and wasn't allowed to use the toilet when he needed to, she had to get a note from GP to make him 'exempt' from the rules so he could use the toilet. Also her DD has started her period and had asked to use the toilet but was told no, poor girl had bled through her clothes, left a blood stain on her chair and got told off by the teacher for doing so! My friend sent numerous complaints to school but no to avail. I feel like I want to make some changes in 'toilet rules' at school but not sure where to start. It's a basic human need, even prisoners get to use the toilet when they need, why would primary school children be denied?

OP posts:
Dungaree · 13/05/2023 00:48

They should be allowed to go when they need to go. No good will come of not giving them access to a toilet.

Hankunamatata · 13/05/2023 00:50

Problem is small minority spoil it for majority. You get kids in and out of class, don't come back then teacher has to get someone to go find child that hasn't returned. Then you have to catch the child up that's missed the part of the lesson cos they went to the toilet

MrsDoylesDoily · 13/05/2023 00:56

It's an age old problem that's never going to go away.

One child wants to go, then another, then another, then another etc, until the whole class gets disturbed and no-one can learn anything.

Looking back to when I was at school, I don't know how we managed with periods but I guess we just did.

MrsDoylesDoily · 13/05/2023 00:58

Having said that though, I used to volunteer in a primary school and girls could also use an exempt note if they'd started their periods.

MistressIggi · 13/05/2023 01:01

How will your dd go to the toilets when they are all blocked with loo rolls thrown down them and flooded by pupils blocking the sinks and leaving the taps on?

Walkden · 13/05/2023 01:09

Usually people can get toilet passes when they need it due to medical issues.

Teachers usually have discretion for pupils being desperate or coming on unexpectedly but have to be very careful as many will want to leave just to get out of lesson for a bit, have tried to arrange meeting up with friends etc during a specific time .

Vandalism bullying and vaping in toilet are rife.

I've let out a pupil as they looked Ill etc and they've shoved a load of food wrappers down a bowl and flooded the corridor.

Many times pupils do not go at break and lunch as "they didn't need it" but 10 mins later are about to pee themselves apparently. If pupils could go when they wanted about a quarter of the class would be out of lesson.....

Teachers also do not get to go to the toilet during lessons either for obvious reasons. Usually if having a water infection this means you don't drink anything during the school day.

Yfory · 13/05/2023 01:18

This was standard when I was at school in the 80s and 90s. And its the same now at the local college that my dd attends. Unless they genuinely need to go of course in which case its fine.

At Primary school we were allowed to if we asked (and it was a one off........ not a regular trip out for a walk!) But strict rules applied at secondary school (the loos were locked during lesson times)
I dont remember it ever being a problem for anybody when I was at secondary school tbh. I honestly cant remember it being a topic of discussion or moaning.

caringcarer · 13/05/2023 01:24

I was a secondary teacher and I always allowed students to use the toilet. I wrote the word 'toilet' and the time they left the classroom in their journal which they took with them in case challenged by another member of staff.

NeedCoffeeNowPlease · 13/05/2023 01:31

It was standard when I was at school but, if we asked, we were usually allowed to go.

Willyoujustbequiet · 13/05/2023 01:40

Thankfully doesn't appear to be an issue in our schools but I've told my daughter that if she ever really needs to and is refused (doubtful) just to be polite and walk out anyway.

She is not going to sit there in pain or flooding from a heavy period - it is a basic human right.

bookwormlifter · 13/05/2023 02:04

At my sons schools 3 pupils are allowed at any one time. They take a 'tag' off the board. When someone else needs to go they wait for someone to come back. Rarely is it that all 3 tags are gone

CampfiresAndGuitars · 13/05/2023 02:09

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PolkadotZebrasAndStripyGiraffes · 13/05/2023 02:11

Hankunamatata · 13/05/2023 00:50

Problem is small minority spoil it for majority. You get kids in and out of class, don't come back then teacher has to get someone to go find child that hasn't returned. Then you have to catch the child up that's missed the part of the lesson cos they went to the toilet

That's the school's problem though. They need to put behaviour management etc in place to deal with that without denying other children their right to use a toilet whenever they need to. I absolutely would not accept this OP.

PolkadotZebrasAndStripyGiraffes · 13/05/2023 02:12

MistressIggi · 13/05/2023 01:01

How will your dd go to the toilets when they are all blocked with loo rolls thrown down them and flooded by pupils blocking the sinks and leaving the taps on?

Huh? Any kid that does that should be expelled. Then everyone else can get on with teaching and learning.

PolkadotZebrasAndStripyGiraffes · 13/05/2023 02:15

Willyoujustbequiet · 13/05/2023 01:40

Thankfully doesn't appear to be an issue in our schools but I've told my daughter that if she ever really needs to and is refused (doubtful) just to be polite and walk out anyway.

She is not going to sit there in pain or flooding from a heavy period - it is a basic human right.

Exactly. How humiliating to have someone else dictating to you about or expecting you to have to justify normal bodily functions! Totally unacceptable. I would tell my children the same if faced with this: do not ask, just tell them that you are going and then go. If the school has a problem with it they can call me about it.

PolkadotZebrasAndStripyGiraffes · 13/05/2023 02:17

How is a kid meant to concentrate on learning if desperate for the loo, or worried about flooding? Completely ridiculous and sums up what is wrong with so much of education in the UK: sacrificing the learning and needs and wellbeing or the majority because they won't deal with the disruptive and disrespectful students.

Remaker · 13/05/2023 02:18

This is one of the many reasons I love my DD’s all girls grammar school. They have a white board near the door, you just write your name on it when you go to the toilet (no need to ask for permission) and erase it when you get back.

In primary it was at the discretion of the teacher and I didn’t blame them for getting frustrated. It was always the same kids claiming to be ‘busting’ and then you’d watch them out the window meandering across the playground, picking up sticks etc.

SNAFUED · 13/05/2023 02:23

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Swrigh1234 · 13/05/2023 02:29

As with everything in the state school system, a number of feral kids make life hard for everyone. Behaviour in class, conduct in corridors, attitude towards learning, disrespect towards teachers, bullying others. This is just another example, the majority suffering because this menace minority. Unfortuantely this is the same cohort that go onto be menace adults.

PolkadotZebrasAndStripyGiraffes · 13/05/2023 02:37

If they don't appreciate education and will not engage then they should foreit the right to be there. No reason everybody else should lose out.

nocoolnamesleft · 13/05/2023 02:50

Don't post stories of being caught short at school, or work.

NotMeSecretFormular · 13/05/2023 03:03

Report if you think troll. As per the rules.

Luckypom · 13/05/2023 03:04

Agreed. What’s wrong with people. You have a sad life to make shit like this up.

Luckypom · 13/05/2023 03:06

‘Also her DD has started her period and had asked to use the toilet but was told no, poor girl had bled through her clothes, left a blood stain on her chair and got told off by the teacher for doing so!’

Horrid story to make up.

Can2022getanyworse · 13/05/2023 04:56

'it's a basic human right'

This argument boils my piss (no pun intended). Nobody is denying kids the right to use the loo - in every school I know they have opportunity to go before lessons start, at every break and after school. Never more than 2 hours between opportunities to go, even in a long double period afternoon. Anyone who goes from 'not needing to go' to 'desperate I'm going to piss myself Miss' in that time is either really ill and worthy of a gp noe and toilet pass, or literally taking the piss. (Teachers generally can spot a genuine request a mile off - and are able to use emotional intelligence to allow kids to go eg period starting/leaks and desperation!)

There are plenty of times adults have their access to toilets restricted - shop floor workers, emergency services, performing arts, on a plane when the seat belt light is on.

Nobody is denying kids the right to go to the loo. They just need to go at a designated time. Kids DO have a right to an education though, and bunking off for 15 minutes each lesson to go to the loo unsupervised is disruptive to that child, their class and potentially the school.