To be appalled by school toilet restrictions

[GoodWitch65]

Had a period talk with my DD age 11 and mentioned to have a pouch with sanitary products to be kept in her school bag just in case. She told me they are not allowed to use toilets at school during the class, only during the break. I was very surprised, growing up in European country this was never a problem in my school, everyone was allowed to use toilets whenever they needed. Spoke to a friend of mine, her kids go to another school, apparently this a standart practice I just can't wrap my head around how and why? My friend's DS used to have frequent kidney infections and wasn't allowed to use the toilet when he needed to, she had to get a note from GP to make him 'exempt' from the rules so he could use the toilet. Also her DD has started her period and had asked to use the toilet but was told no, poor girl had bled through her clothes, left a blood stain on her chair and got told off by the teacher for doing so! My friend sent numerous complaints to school but no to avail. I feel like I want to make some changes in 'toilet rules' at school but not sure where to start. It's a basic human need, even prisoners get to use the toilet when they need, why would primary school children be denied?

Nah utter crap from anyone defending this. I went to secondary in the early 2000s and we could go to the toilet during lessons. Schools who deny children the right to go to the toilet due to behavioural issues need to sort their own systems out. I'm sure a lot of learning goes on whilst you're sat there thinking "right 59 minutes to hold it in before I can run to the toilet at the break/ lunch" or "please don't let me tampon leak before the end of chemistry".

I work in a foundation unit (3-5yo) and during carpet learning times if children ask to use the toilet I say no and ask them if they can wait. Obviously if they are doing the wee wiggle etc I let them go, but if one child asks to go you can bet 4 more do afterwards.

I agree it's also not a human right to go to the toilet as soon as you ask to and children and adults can be asked to wait!

At my school the policy is not to be allowed to go to the toilet during lessons.
Of course if there is a medical need then they have a 'toilet pass'
I let girls go aswell if they say they are on their period (whether or not that's true I don't know!)
But there is never more than 2 lessons without a break so the longest they would have to wait is 2 hours.
I drum it into the new Year 7s that they should go before a lesson / at break.
If Year 11s can't manage this then I worry how they would cope in a job!

#this happened.

Btw @GoodWitch65 I'm in a school with a ratio of, I'd say, 70% girls. We have rules about using the toilet. I've been teaching for 27 years. Never, not once, has a girl done what you have said. It's kind of not how menstruation works. Not that you'd know.

It is possible to bleed through and leave a pretty deep stain on a chair. It happened to a girl in my class in high school. She wasn't in trouble though.

At our school students are allowed to use the toilets but they must take a toilet pass to show they have permission. That way it is easier to identify the many truants running around hiding in the toilets because they don't have a pass. Maybe suggest that to the school.

This is a good solution. Write the date in too. Can then be checked if pupils are going regularly and for a long time just to get out of lessons, or if it’s a rare occurrence that that particular pupil only goes when they really need to.

Also her DD has started her period and had asked to use the toilet but was told no, poor girl had bled through her clothes, left a blood stain on her chair and got told off by the teacher for doing so!

Yeah Right

Oh can people fuck off with the 'it's a human right' bs.
They can use a toilet every 60 minutes. Unless they have a bladder condition or other medical needs, no one needs to go in the middle of the lesson. Lots of children are just too busy chatting with friends and ofc happy to miss 10 minutes of a lesson to thn do something they could have done at break or during the changeover.

Tell your daughter to tell her teachers if she is on her period and needs to deal with it. There’s no shame in having a period - and teachers will almost certainly let her go to the toilet.

we have a no toilet rule at school. The naughty ones ask to go, I say: “ooo I’m not really supposed to let you go, can you wait 5 mins and ask me again if you’re desperate” They will say okay. Or if they say no I can’t and have a look of panic on their face they can go. Another child asked if she can sort her hijab out. I wasn’t exactly going to say no!

schools have these rules but if your child tells a teacher this, then they will be allowed to go! Though I did have it when a child’s period came up pretty much every lesson… I told her she needed to go to the doctors!

I do know someone this happened too. I suspect most chairs are plastic now but, back then, they were wood. I think the caretaker just got rid of the seat.

@MaltedCow if you have 59 minutes of lesson left it means you were too lazy to go to toilet during the break, our bad, learn about time management.

Schools (shock!) have changed massively since your times as well, behaviour is incomparably worse, and sadly schools don't have enough staff to even teach, not mention hang aroudn toilets to supervise nothing is going on(and a lot is going on). Clearly shows you have maybe only have seen a school on TV since you left.

You my friend, are in the wrong job then. Go find a different job to exert your power. Three year olds are not the ones to practise it on. Try the police force.

My daughter's school has the same rules. She has stopped drinking much at school as the toilets she has access to at lunch are the anti bullying, unisex ones directly on to the corridor. And the others are full of bigger kids vaping apparently.

I agree. What a horrible place to be three.

I agree. So unless they are showing signs of distress outwardly, they have to wait? Kids this age can have to go very suddenly.

We are not meant to let kids go to the toilet where I teach, I'll use my common sense. 5mins after break or lunch a big fat no. Kids arrange to meet up with others from different classes, vaping, or their phones, etc. They need to learn how to manage themselves properly!!!

You have clearly never worked with children!

@GoodWitch65 this is normal and the rule is there to make children think about going to the toilet during breaks so that they don't miss lessons. If they could truly go whenever they wanted then they miss school, it's disruptive, and they might get into a pattern which means they go during exams and loose time affecting marks.

If there is a medical reason that they need to go during lessons (eg kidney conditions), then of course parents communicate with the school to get different arrangements for that child.

I'm sure that if a child with good behaviours asked to go during a lesson once, then they'd probably be given permission.

I wouldn't bother to look at changing the school rules, as she will have to accept these rules at secondary school. But you can ask exactly what the school rules are directly from the school so that you and your DD are correctly informed. If she is in year 6 then you can check at both her current and new schools.

When your DD starts her period you could look at getting her period pants which many people recommend to prevent leakage, you could also mention these to your friend now. They help with confidence.

This has happened at every school I have worked in, on several occasions. It is a remarkably common occurrence. Human beings can be odd. You have to catch them first. You also can’t expel children for this kind of thing.

I worked in a primary school up until recently and we always allowed kids to go to the loo. If there were any who had a tendency to loiter or take the mick we would ask them to wait 5 unless desperate.

DD had a toilet pass up until recently, but hasn't renewed it this term cause she's getting used to it. It's an early lesson in the minority idiots ruining it for the majority!

I would hazard a guess that behaviour was much better in your home country when you were educated, OP, than it is in the average UK secondary today.

Even in the posh independent I taught in, there were constant issues around toilets!

Our classes were 35 mins in secondary school and less commonly a double so the reality is it was very easy to go between classes and you rarely needed to wait long.
The problem with schools is they have to have rules for the lowest common denominator and there are a lot of disengaged students who dick around constantly.

When my very sensible, very well behaved Sister was in high school, she was denied access to the loo. She asked numerous times and was told she wasn't allowed to go. Unfortunately she became so desperate that she wet herself right there in class.

This resulted in her being extremely embarrassed and ashamed, but the worst of it was she was made fun of and bullied for it for ages afterwards too.

I would tell any child of mine that if they are genuinely desperate for the loo, for whatever reason, to just go regardless of whether the teacher has given permission or not. The teacher can't physically stop your child and it could save them hugely embarrassing situations that they are taunted and tormented for afterwards.

You as the parent can pick up the flack for it afterwards. We all know whether or not our kids are genuine cases or piss takers (pardon the pun).