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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I drive my friend's partner to hospital 1.5 hrs away at bullshit-o'clock with little notice?

210 replies

Dustyblue · 12/05/2023 05:19

Actually as soon as I typed that I started to think maybe I am being unreasonable.

My good friend is having a holiday in Italy by herself. Her partner wasn't thrilled about her leaving him for 2 weeks, acted quite juvenile about it really but boo hoo- my friend has dealt with 2 tragedies in the past year and desperately needed some travel and time away to recover and regroup.

Anyway he's hurt his finger and needs minor surgery to repair a tendon. I told my friend I'd drive him to the hospital and pick him up after, thinking it was our local hospital which is literally up the road.

But he's just told me it's another hospital about 90 minutes away with a 5am start. I'd have to miss the day's work and hang around waiting for him.

He could've organised patient transport from hospital to hospital, no idea why he didn't. It's too late now.

I'm going to have to do it aren't I? Only other option I can think of is to drive him there tonight and he can stay at a hotel. Then I can work tomorrow and pick him up afterwards. Arrghh I dont know which is worse. Also DH will have to stay with DC6 if I'm not WFM tomorrow.

WWYD?

OP posts:
angelfacecuti75 · 14/05/2023 04:21

God , "put your big boy pants on & get on with it" is a phrase that comes to mind , Peter Pan !

JudgeRudy · 14/05/2023 04:33

Why does anyone need to drive him there? Does he have physical or mental disabilities that prevent him getting himself there. Surely that would be cheaper than your petrol and day off work.

MintJulia · 14/05/2023 04:52

It's a FINGER! One finger! He's acting like he's had his leg amputated. Tell him you can't miss work, and to get public transport the night before and stay in a cheap B&B.

Redglitter · 14/05/2023 05:12

Ffs RTFT people. It's all done & dusted. Hes had his op & is back home

Original poster
Dustyblue · 14/05/2023 06:53

LokiDoki75 · 12/05/2023 08:40

I would suggest listening the the greatest hits of BadFinger?

I missed this- howling with laughter, I so should have! 😂

OP posts:
Juststopamoment · 14/05/2023 08:02

Blimey! Lesson definitely learned and be thankful you aren’t married to him!

Toomuchtrouble4me · 14/05/2023 12:47

how recently did you find out it’s the further hospital? If you literally just found out then just ‘sorry - I can’t do that, it’s too far and I have to work, even if I missed work then DH would have to miss work for DC - I thought it was the local hospital.
if however, you’ve known for a while then you will have to do it I think. Could you take a laptop with you and find a library/hotel lobby/ coffee shop to work from for some of the day?

uncomfortablydumb53 · 14/05/2023 14:00

You agreed not realising it wasn't the local hospital and the DH should've asked if that's still ok
I wouldn't miss work for a friends DH when he has I assume normal health and mobility but I would compromise and agree to pick him up at a convenient time for you
He can either stay over the night before or get an early train
It's a finger not toes!

Winnipeg23 · 14/05/2023 19:09

Ridiculous..just say you thought it was local hospital or you would not have offered.
Say you have work next day so can't do it. Apologise and say miscommunication issue. Let him find his own way. If he's a fully functioning adult that shouldn't be beyond him. And Ur friend will understand.

Devora13 · 14/05/2023 19:50

It doesn't sound like an emergency. Does your friend know about the distance involved? I'd explain that it's just not doable now you know the venue, suggest he rearranges and sorts out his own transport.
I probably don't understand the condition involved so it may be more serious than it sounds, but 'hurt his finger'... really???

Devora13 · 14/05/2023 19:53

@Redglitter 'Ffs RTFT people. It's all done & dusted. Hes had his op & is back home'

Some people have busy lives and dint have time to read the full thread, but still want to be supportive. Much easier to pass by any comments that are no longer needed than be judgemental.

Redglitter · 14/05/2023 20:12

Devora13 · 14/05/2023 19:53

@Redglitter 'Ffs RTFT people. It's all done & dusted. Hes had his op & is back home'

Some people have busy lives and dint have time to read the full thread, but still want to be supportive. Much easier to pass by any comments that are no longer needed than be judgemental.

So read the OPs posts or the last few to get an idea if it's moved on. It's not difficult

Devora13 · 15/05/2023 06:48

@Redglitter
Please see my comment.
Not going to engage in a petty squabble, just sticking to the theme of the thread. It's not difficult.

Ladykryptonite · 15/05/2023 06:59

I never understand why posters feel the need to tell others off about 'rtft' and getting swear, just ignore those posts

Ladykryptonite · 15/05/2023 06:59

*getting sweary

CoalTit · 15/05/2023 07:15

The "see all" button on the bottom right of the OP box is very useful if you're too busy to read the full thread but you want to post.

I know I'm not the first poster to say that, which is kind of ironic under the circumstances.

Ladykryptonite · 15/05/2023 07:19

The existence of a see all button doesn't really give posters the right to berate others for not using it, it implies their time is more important

Clymene · 15/05/2023 07:22

Ladykryptonite · 15/05/2023 06:59

I never understand why posters feel the need to tell others off about 'rtft' and getting swear, just ignore those posts

Because it's really boring to read for other people and unhelpful for the OP.

If you haven't got the time (or courtesy) to read all the OP's posts, then why bother posting? I don't understand

Ladykryptonite · 15/05/2023 07:25

It takes seconds to read and skip over, it's a public forum, it's a tad bossy

PinkCast · 15/05/2023 08:03

It also takes seconds to read the last post, which may (or may not if a similarly lazy person has posted) give an idea of what's currently going on.
Just RTFT!

CoalTit · 15/05/2023 08:04

Ladykryptonite · 15/05/2023 07:19

The existence of a see all button doesn't really give posters the right to berate others for not using it, it implies their time is more important

But I haven't berated anyone! I just said the "see all" button is really useful if you want to post without reading all the comments. And it is. I use it a lot. It's really good.

joycies · 15/05/2023 13:08

You agreed to something you could do but now you are being expected to do something you can't. Surely there are trains or coaches or UBER or something.
You have to tell him ASAP and hope to G... he sorts himself out. Doesn't he have any friends of his own?

Notamum12345577 · 15/05/2023 18:40

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/05/2023 18:57

Why don't people RTFT?

She already went and came back.

thinking the same!

PinkCast · 15/05/2023 19:04

Surely there are trains or coaches or UBER or something

... or maybe even a time machine to go back 3 days to when it was an issue 🤔 🙄

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/05/2023 20:28

PinkCast · 15/05/2023 19:04

Surely there are trains or coaches or UBER or something

... or maybe even a time machine to go back 3 days to when it was an issue 🤔 🙄

With a Time Machine he would probably also have a teleportation machine. THINK woman!