Absolute stupid question about asexuality and sexuality.

[AceNotInSpace]

Hi, I totally understand that this isin’t exactly the place to come and talk about asexuality, but I swear every single online space I have found and been part of, have kind of gone crazy.

Things seem to have gone strange in the past couple of years where a lot of people are now using the label asexuality.
I’m in online places to find people like me and talk about obstacles in our lives, but these days
they are pretty much filled with people who do have sex (mostly seem to be young girls/women having sex with boys/men) who say that they are ”aesthetically and emotionally attracted to” their partner / people and like the physical feeling of sex.
Isin’t this just the very average, very basic, very ’normal’ sexuality?
They want and have sex, they have libidos and they put them to use.

What makes this asexuality / part of asexual spectrum?

And now they are in asexual spaces telling pwoplw who are actually asexual, that they belong there, and if you question them, you are aphobic and excluding people.
In our own space.

What is this? Do they not realize they’re taking place from people who it actually belongs to?

Again, I can’t talk about this in these communities, because I get an angry mob after me, so I brought my beef here, I’m sorry 😅!

Women being punished for being free thinking women is not confined to women who prefer celibacy.

But asexuality isin’t a choice.
I spend two decades trying to feel sexual attraction, be it towards men, women or both.
I didn’t and wouldn’t choose this.
It’s innate.
It’s not like favouring rock over jazz.
So unless hetero/bi/gay isin’t just a ’personality trait’ neither is asexuality.

Yes it's shameful really but men just piss me off after a bit :-)

Why are people so fucking eager to label themselves. So out and loud about everything. Honest to god I dont need to know if you are/ or arent sexual attracted to people

Everyone seems to want their 5 minutes of gen something fame

Please listen to people. It’s been explained so many times.

It has nothing to do with wanting to feel special. It’s about knowing that there is a reason for why we feel the way we feel. It is about feeling normal.

You really can’t grasp why someone who has never felt sexual attraction in a world where sexual attraction is the theme/plot point of the vast majority of songs, films, books tv etc. why we would feel like there’s something wrong with us? It was a massive relief the day I discovered I was asexual. I don’t shout it from the roof tops, I don’t tell strangers, I don’t wear badges or wave flags. I just feel fine and happy with who I am, and I don’t understand why that bothers people like you so much

I agree that asexual is a sexuality. But could I ask a question to any asexuals who want to date/ find a partner etc? If you don't have any sexual attraction to anyone how do you know/decide if you want to date men or women? Sorry its probably a daft question but I'm genuinely curious if you have a preference (probably wrong word) who to date etc.

@AlizeeEasy so why poison it with gender ideology nonsense. Which is homophobic lesbophobic biphobic and misogynistic?

It's also infuriating to hear that these online spaces have been taken overy by enthusiastic shaggers.

It's what happens when people are not allowed to create boundaries, 'police' or 'gatekeep'. Everyone is included and everything becomes a 'spectrum' where anyone can fall into.

Suddenly the term doesn't matter anymore because "we're all a bit like that"

I’m not!! You are the only person to have mentioned gender. I’m talking about asexuality, the point of this thread is asexuality. Men can be asexual. Women can be asexual. I’m not interested in tainting this discussion with your ramblings on gender

At least one person in the thread has said they are happy being "a little letter" in the gender woo woo alphabet.

I got news for you, the L G and B letters are also in that. In your mind just move the little A to be next to those letters and away from the ones that upset you so much

But they are taking. When men call themselves women, they are taking from women. When non-coeliacs claim gluten allergies that they don't have, they are taking.

When you take a label that doesn't belong to you, and make noise under that label, you take something from the people that label actually belongs to. You diminish them and their experiences.

@AlizeeEasy LGB has been forced teamed with the TQAATSQ whatever else. My support and allyship is for LGB without the TQ+

Yes you’ve made that abundantly clear, I’m just suggesting you allow the embrace of the A with those letters you like, and let us all get on with it

Distance yourself from the gender Maoists and I would

Nah

Why does the A need embracing?

If you don't distance yourself from the TQ+ then you are a supporter of that homophobic misogynist ideology.

Asexuality is nothing to do with gender.

It’s the lack of SEXual attraction.

I’m confused why you keep bringing gender into the discussion tbh.

Do or do not, I care not. We exist, sorry if that bothers you

You exist, I exist. Whatever. Doesn't bother me.

What I asked was why you need me to embrace you? Why does your sexuality or lack of it require any approval or interest from me? What assistance do you need with the A and why does it have anything to do with me?

These are genuine questions. I truly have no clue as to why your particularly letter needs any sort of acknowledgement from me or anyone else.

I need nothing from you. The importance of the A is so people who are ace find out it exists and can learn more about themselves and not feel so alone. The erasure of asexuality just means it’s harder for people to even know it exists.

I only mentioned embracing it to the other poster with a bee in her bonnet about comparing asexuality with being anti women. I was just trying to get her to leave me alone. You don’t have to embrace aces.

"a bee in her bonnet" 😂😂 was I "shrill" and "hysterical" too. Love the misogynistic language. Really telling

Never used those words. You’ve made your mind up about me no matter what, so I am past caring about your strange opinions on me or my sexuality. May you live your days in health and happiness.

@bellinisurge you have been really quite unpleasant and aggressive on this thread in my opinion.

None of the people who were posting about being ace even mentioned trans people.

Asexual is a sexuality the same as gay/straight/bi.

Trans is not a sexuality.

Do you berate gay people or bi people in the same way as you have gone in on these Ace people? They are also part of the same "alphabet woo" after all!