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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about my wedding cake?

218 replies

Woolloomooloo · 10/05/2023 20:11

We got married a few weeks ago and had a perfect day with just one exception - the wedding cake wasn’t really what we had agreed with the supplier in terms of design.

I had sent her an example photo of a cake that we liked the style of but it had one subtle design feature on the top tier which we didn’t like. We asked her to copy the cake but omit this detail and it said this on the invoice.

We also asked for the same finish as the cake in the photo but with more vibrant, stronger colouration to it.

On the day we ended up with a lovely looking cake, but the colours were not vibrant and the detail we wanted omitting was included!

The cake cost us in the region of £500!

So my question is AIBU to raise it with her?

Or do I just accept the rest of the day was perfect and get over it?

OP posts:
Dillya · 10/05/2023 20:14

Let’s see before we can vote…

HairyFarnbarn · 10/05/2023 20:16

Just let it go, you said yourself it was lovely. Don’t let this become the one thing you focus on from the day.

Kam610 · 10/05/2023 20:17

I would definitely be mentioning this if you clearly stated what you wanted, and that wasn't what you received. It's not exactly like you can give it back as it was needed on the day, but you can explain that she didn't deliver what you asked for.

SurfnTerfFantasticmissfoxy · 10/05/2023 20:17

We're gonna need pictures

JudgeRudy · 10/05/2023 20:17

Woolloomooloo · 10/05/2023 20:11

We got married a few weeks ago and had a perfect day with just one exception - the wedding cake wasn’t really what we had agreed with the supplier in terms of design.

I had sent her an example photo of a cake that we liked the style of but it had one subtle design feature on the top tier which we didn’t like. We asked her to copy the cake but omit this detail and it said this on the invoice.

We also asked for the same finish as the cake in the photo but with more vibrant, stronger colouration to it.

On the day we ended up with a lovely looking cake, but the colours were not vibrant and the detail we wanted omitting was included!

The cake cost us in the region of £500!

So my question is AIBU to raise it with her?

Or do I just accept the rest of the day was perfect and get over it?

As soon as I read 'a few weeks ago' l concluded yould lost your case.
Of course it's worth speaking with the Baker and of course there's always reviews....but I think it's too late now.

TeenLifeMum · 10/05/2023 20:18

I think that if you ate it you pay but don’t use that cake maker again or recommend. There’s always something not perfect and if it was nice and didn’t give everyone food poisoning I’d just move on and focus on everything else. Our dj was terrible and we had to get friends to tell him what music to play as he seemed to think we were 50 (we were 22 and 24). We’re very happy 19 years later.

Frogggie · 10/05/2023 20:19

You should have raised it right away. Of course you should’ve said something if you spent £500 on a custom product that wasn’t what you ordered. But why are you only now thinking of this weeks later?

BarkyMatherson · 10/05/2023 20:19

Unless the detail you didn’t like was a giant phallus I’d not be bothered, no one pays any attention to the wedding cake apart from the person who ordered it and the photographer!

CountryStore · 10/05/2023 20:19

£500 for a cake?!

Thelastofbus · 10/05/2023 20:20

We can’t really comment without a side by side photo!

mnahmnah · 10/05/2023 20:21

A relative arranged our cake for us as a wedding present. Despite us saying we did not like fruit cake or chocolate ganache, we got a tier of each. I found out the night before and although I was annoyed, I decided that it wasn’t worth getting upset about. I focussed on all the good bits. Sometimes you just have to let things go!

Skyeheather · 10/05/2023 20:22

You should have said something on delivery and given the baker a chance to change it at the time.

Did you not see the cake before the big day? Did they not even send you photos of the finished cake in the days before?

Sissynova · 10/05/2023 20:23

It really depends on how far off it looked and what they told you would be possible. ‘Not as vibrant as you wanted’ sounds a bit weak.

merrymelodies · 10/05/2023 20:23

It's a bit late to complain, especially if you're expecting some sort of financial compensation but you could certainly mention it to whoever made the cake if it's bothering you so much.

wildfirewonder · 10/05/2023 20:24

I'd let it go, focus on your amazing day.

It was just a cake.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 10/05/2023 20:25

TeenLifeMum · 10/05/2023 20:18

I think that if you ate it you pay but don’t use that cake maker again or recommend. There’s always something not perfect and if it was nice and didn’t give everyone food poisoning I’d just move on and focus on everything else. Our dj was terrible and we had to get friends to tell him what music to play as he seemed to think we were 50 (we were 22 and 24). We’re very happy 19 years later.

I once witnessed a takeover of a wedding DJ booth. She was terrible and didn’t bother to bring the father/bride song. After a quick run to a store to buy the cd a friend just sort of took over. Friend was an idiot but a pretty decent DJ… the one they paid for just sort of stood in the corner for the rest of the night.

@Woolloomooloo Yeah, let this one go. The time to have spoken up was at the time when there was a possibility of the baker doing something about it.

UsethisUsername · 10/05/2023 20:26

I think given it was a wedding cake people can’t expect it not to be eaten on the day. Plus if you’ve been on your honeymoon no wonder it’s been a few weeks. I would raise it with them politely, for such an important occasion they really should follow the brief.

Loulovescake · 10/05/2023 20:27

As others have said, it really is too late now. Any issues should have been raised at the time and potentially could have been rectified.

pictoosh · 10/05/2023 20:28

500 for a cake!! That’s all I can say.

PinkyFlamingo · 10/05/2023 20:31

I would raise it because it wasn't what you asked for. However as I assume it will have been cut up and used there is nothing thst the Baker will do. I would like an explanation though.

CheshireDing · 10/05/2023 20:32

I think a couple of weeks later is fine to query it as you were busy on the wedding day and maybe in holiday afterwards. You paid a lot and it’s not what was agreed. I would prob just email to state my point but not bother to chase up for any money off etc

please can we see pics though

PinkyFlamingo · 10/05/2023 20:33

pictoosh · 10/05/2023 20:28

500 for a cake!! That’s all I can say.

As a Baker myself I'm sick of comments like this. If you want a cheap cake go to M and S or Cost Co. £500 is about average for a tiered bespoke wedding cake.

GoneTillNovember · 10/05/2023 20:35

I think the OP is meaning feed back to the baker rather than try to return the cake for a refund weeks later 😁

I'd definitely let them know you were a bit disappointed because of the issues. It might make them pay a bit more attention in the future and not make mistakes with others' cakes.

ShowUs · 10/05/2023 20:37

Obviously we can’t tell without seeing both photos but I think YABU as your wedding was a few weeks ago.

If there was an issue you would have said as soon as you picked it up and asked for a reduction/part refund at the very least.

pictoosh · 10/05/2023 20:37

PinkyFlamingo · 10/05/2023 20:33

As a Baker myself I'm sick of comments like this. If you want a cheap cake go to M and S or Cost Co. £500 is about average for a tiered bespoke wedding cake.

Show quote history

Yep I would. I’d never part with 500 for a sodding cake however long it took to make.