Page 8 | To complain about my wedding cake?

Woolloomooloo · 2023-05-10T19:11:57+00:00

We got married a few weeks ago and had a perfect day with just one exception - the wedding cake wasn’t really what we had agreed with the supplier in terms of design. I had sent her an example photo of a cake that we liked the style of but it had one subtle design feature on the top tier which we didn’t like. We asked her to copy the cake but omit this detail and it said this on the invoice. We also asked for the same finish as the cake in the photo but with more vibrant, stronger colouration to it. On the day we ended up with a lovely looking cake, but the colours were not vibrant and the detail we wanted omitting was included! The cake cost us in the region of £500! So my question is AIBU to raise it with her? Or do I just accept the rest of the day was perfect and get over it?

GCWorkNightmare · 12/05/2023 07:14

littleblackcat27 · 12/05/2023 07:08

Our wedding cake was from Choccy Woccy Doo Dah (back in the day ie 25 years ago) and it was completely fabulous.

I hope you're not one of my friends!!

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Mine too! 19 years ago. £1k well spent. (£130 of that was transport from Brighton.)

Marmite27 · 12/05/2023 07:17

PinkyFlamingo · 10/05/2023 20:33

As a Baker myself I'm sick of comments like this. If you want a cheap cake go to M and S or Cost Co. £500 is about average for a tiered bespoke wedding cake.

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Mine was £490, 10 years ago and it was on the cheaper side then!

GCWorkNightmare · 12/05/2023 07:17

adriftabroad · 11/05/2023 21:53

My friend had a cake from Choccy Woccy Doo Dah (back in the day) It was easily 500 pounds, 20 years ago.
Such an anticlimax, tiny tiny cake.

Really? Mine was 4ft tall, weighed 8 stone. Took 2 staff to carry it to the kitchen to be cut. 😂

We used about a fifth of it for 80 day guests and 50 evening. It was incredibly rich. We were eating it for years (from the freezer).

HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 12/05/2023 07:24

My wedding cake was blown up in the Soho bombing in 1999, the day before my weddings . But I didn’t complain as people actually died and I’m not a total dickhead. My Ddad drove around London to buy the cake from another branch (patisserie Valerie, when they were still good 😀)

Looking back, if that cake wasn’t an omen of a disastrous marriage I’m a monkey’s uncle.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 12/05/2023 07:36

@Woolloomooloo I think you’re being completely reasonable to give feedback. You paid for something and it wasn’t as it should have been.

Halsall · 12/05/2023 07:45

I've made cakes semi-professionally and I think Cap89's replies are very thoughtful and sensible. Measured feedback is the way to go, and the cake-maker should be glad to have it for future experience in listening to clients.

(On a side-note, I can’t resist saying that I hooted out loud on reading your first couple of posts about the unwanted 'subtle design feature' on the cake topper, OP, because as soon as the first post arrived asking for a photo, what should spring up immediately but the MN video with that godawful sheep on top of the hat. I’m sorry to laugh but it just tickled me)

Emotionalsupportviper · 12/05/2023 07:53

PinkyFlamingo · 10/05/2023 20:33

As a Baker myself I'm sick of comments like this. If you want a cheap cake go to M and S or Cost Co. £500 is about average for a tiered bespoke wedding cake.

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I'm not a baker, but knowing how long it takes to make a Teenage Ninja Turtle cake for a kid's 6th birthday party, I'm on your side here!

Wedding cakes are complex - All those teeny flowery decorations etc, having to wait until some bits dry before you put the next bits on (taking up all of your bench space so you can't do anything else), carefully constructing it, very carefully transporting it and building it up at the venue . . . it takes days, not hours.

Plus, of course, the customer pays for the skill involved - the training and the hours and hours of practise.

Bespoke cakes can't just be churned out.

Emotionalsupportviper · 12/05/2023 07:54

Halsall · 12/05/2023 07:45

I've made cakes semi-professionally and I think Cap89's replies are very thoughtful and sensible. Measured feedback is the way to go, and the cake-maker should be glad to have it for future experience in listening to clients.

(On a side-note, I can’t resist saying that I hooted out loud on reading your first couple of posts about the unwanted 'subtle design feature' on the cake topper, OP, because as soon as the first post arrived asking for a photo, what should spring up immediately but the MN video with that godawful sheep on top of the hat. I’m sorry to laugh but it just tickled me)

HAHAHAHAHA!

That spider-legged sheep makes me cringe, too!

😂

dottiedodah · 12/05/2023 07:55

Pictoosh We were getting quotes of £ 250/£300 for a wedding cake when we got married over 20 years ago! Luckily my SIL /MIL made us a beautiful one , The time and expertise needed are second to none ,for a special cake !

Pinkfluff76 · 12/05/2023 07:58

£500 for a cake is ridiculous! And as for the baker saying if you want a cheap cake go to M&S… you could buy ten cakes and still have a WHOLE lot of change so what a daft thing to say!

Emotionalsupportviper · 12/05/2023 08:05

But OP wanted this particular cake, @Pinkfluff76 .

She doubtless knew she could get a cheaper one from M&S but didn't want a cheaper one.

However, the cost of personalised wedding cakes isn't the issue - the issue is can they draw it to the baker's attention.

Yes - let her know that you were disappointed with some of the features that you'd specifically asked be changed from the example in the photograph. She may offer a discount.

Her response would inform my review (though I wouldn't leave a nasty one in these circumstances - just factual) on her website,

GCWorkNightmare · 12/05/2023 08:08

Pinkfluff76 · 12/05/2023 07:58

£500 for a cake is ridiculous! And as for the baker saying if you want a cheap cake go to M&S… you could buy ten cakes and still have a WHOLE lot of change so what a daft thing to say!

Yet it’s pretty common to spend £1k on a dress to wear for one day.

I spent £1k on a cake that made us happy for years after the weekend and £300 on a dress.

I’ve made wedding cakes for friends - one a 7 tier chocolate cake which they used for dessert. I think I charged £500 - the chocolate cigarillos cost about £100 of that. They fed 250 people a generous slice with fruit coulis and cream for less than £2.50 a head.

MitchellMummy · 12/05/2023 08:36

The word 'vibrant' is subjective I guess but to include the detail you wanted omitted isn't acceptable. Bespoke wedding cakes are expensive I know ... if I had baked the cake and you'd raised the issue with me I'd probably have offered to bake a cake for you as an apology.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 12/05/2023 09:20

Pinkfluff76 · 12/05/2023 07:58

£500 for a cake is ridiculous! And as for the baker saying if you want a cheap cake go to M&S… you could buy ten cakes and still have a WHOLE lot of change so what a daft thing to say!

So what’s ridiculous about what the baker said? She agrees you can get cheaper cakes from shops. That’s the whole point. You pay for a personalised one. Just like it costs more to get a tailored suit than buy one off the rack. Obviously lots of people want bespoke cakes for weddings and they’re free to do it or not. £500 is pretty standard for a wedding cake.

Also it’s not the point but it’s not even that cheap from supermarkets. Waitrose do a 3 tier plain white undecorated wedding cake for £175.

anotherside · 12/05/2023 09:23

Asking for more cake is always a good plan.

anotherside · 12/05/2023 09:27

I wouldn’t mention the colours - as you said yourself it was a lovely cake, so unless you specifically and clearly mentioned you wanted super bright colours (not “vibrant” which is subjective) it’s not worth mentioning.

I would however send a quick email saying, thanks for the cake the guests said it wss delicious etc and it looked lovely - but we did specifically ask in our email on the X that Detail Y be omitted and instead it was included.
That is a significant error and they should be made aware of their mistake IMO.

FrazzledMCPremenopausalWoman · 12/05/2023 09:30

SparklyBlackKitten · 10/05/2023 23:44

@PinkyFlamingo
No matter the skill or the time
No cake is worth that much money😅

I'll politely disagree with you.

A cake may not be worth £500 to you personally, but that's not the issue. Cake is important to a lot of people and they're happy to pay for it.

As a baker and cake decorator I have a decent knowledge of the cost in money, time and specialist skill that goes into making a cake. Not to mention the consultation(s), time taken researching options, ordering specific materials, health and safety paperwork, cleaning, liaising with wedding coordinators and florists, transporting the cake to the venue... then there's the cost of insurance, rent on premises, gas/electricity/water, wear and tear on equipment etc etc.

Most of us aren't even earning minimum wage for our time since the cost of ingredients skyrocketed - it's a fine balance between keeping prices low enough that customers can afford to order a cake, and making a wage out of it.

OP, if I'd made a cake that you weren't totally happy with, I'd want you to tell me. It's for you and the individual baker to come to a satisfactory resolution - nobody on here can tell you what that is (acknowledgment that it wasn't quite what you wanted? Partial refund? Goodwill gesture on your next cake order?) but please be polite in how you go about it - any baker will take negative feedback to heart regardless, but the way you raise it with them will make all the difference in terms of a resolution.

CindyCrawfoot · 12/05/2023 09:32

Could have had a whole pile of Colins 😭

LuckySantangelo35 · 12/05/2023 10:03

CindyCrawfoot · 12/05/2023 09:32

Could have had a whole pile of Colins 😭

@CindyCrawfoot

yeah, cos that would look good at a wedding!?

GCWorkNightmare · 12/05/2023 10:33

CindyCrawfoot · 12/05/2023 09:32

Could have had a whole pile of Colins 😭

I don’t get the love for them. Pappy over sweet sponge and very little flavour. 🤮

Whiteroomjoy · 12/05/2023 11:11

There’s nothing wrong with giving feedback and having a discussion with baker about the issues- more as a lesson learnt exercise for the baker. But if you ate it I’d think getting refund is not what you should ask for. A decent baker will apologise for messing up and that’s really all you can expect at this stage.
or she might not apologise and say your instructions were just too vague, or something else like you should have asked to check before the day even by video link. Then the learnings on you to take note of - check stuff before buying and ensure you are explicitly clear when ordering, in writing, pictures, exact colours etc f they matter to you

Whiteroomjoy · 12/05/2023 11:21

FrazzledMCPremenopausalWoman · 12/05/2023 09:30

I'll politely disagree with you.

A cake may not be worth £500 to you personally, but that's not the issue. Cake is important to a lot of people and they're happy to pay for it.

As a baker and cake decorator I have a decent knowledge of the cost in money, time and specialist skill that goes into making a cake. Not to mention the consultation(s), time taken researching options, ordering specific materials, health and safety paperwork, cleaning, liaising with wedding coordinators and florists, transporting the cake to the venue... then there's the cost of insurance, rent on premises, gas/electricity/water, wear and tear on equipment etc etc.

Most of us aren't even earning minimum wage for our time since the cost of ingredients skyrocketed - it's a fine balance between keeping prices low enough that customers can afford to order a cake, and making a wage out of it.

OP, if I'd made a cake that you weren't totally happy with, I'd want you to tell me. It's for you and the individual baker to come to a satisfactory resolution - nobody on here can tell you what that is (acknowledgment that it wasn't quite what you wanted? Partial refund? Goodwill gesture on your next cake order?) but please be polite in how you go about it - any baker will take negative feedback to heart regardless, but the way you raise it with them will make all the difference in terms of a resolution.

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I think the poster is making the point that spending that much money on any 1 single item of food is obscene. It just get eaten, nobody much notices, it makes a good photo that’ll soon be forgotten by all the guests.
you make a living due to demand and you can match supply and costs to that. If people just rocked up everywhere asking for simple decoration basic cakes, that’s all you’d supply at a much cheaper price as labour would be less without the skilled decoration. You’d also use cheaper sourced raw materials. Your business is aimed at meeting demand for high cost wedding cakes that are part of a lot of people’s wedding expectations nowadays thanks to social media.

It wasn’t always that way. Even when I married only the wealthy could afford fancy highly decaroated cakes. Most people had a couple of tiers of standard fruit cake, and some basic royal icing decoration with maybe a very small amount of basic sugarcwork (small bunch of flowers etc) . A local baker would do that as a set piece they churned out - very rarely bespoke.

so, no one is saying you’re work isn’t worth that . What some of us are saying is how the hell did we get to a point why anyone , except the extremely wealthy, would want such an elaborate cake that it needs your specialist skills and the time /materials costs associated with that. Cake is not worth it. Even for me who likes cake a lot

ALittleBitAlexa · 12/05/2023 11:34

@Whiteroomjoy Cake is not worth it. Even for me who likes cake a lot

It's not worth it in your opinion. Clearly OP considered it important. You don't get to dictate what's 'worth it' to other people.

GCWorkNightmare · 12/05/2023 11:34

Whiteroomjoy · 12/05/2023 11:21

I think the poster is making the point that spending that much money on any 1 single item of food is obscene. It just get eaten, nobody much notices, it makes a good photo that’ll soon be forgotten by all the guests.
you make a living due to demand and you can match supply and costs to that. If people just rocked up everywhere asking for simple decoration basic cakes, that’s all you’d supply at a much cheaper price as labour would be less without the skilled decoration. You’d also use cheaper sourced raw materials. Your business is aimed at meeting demand for high cost wedding cakes that are part of a lot of people’s wedding expectations nowadays thanks to social media.

It wasn’t always that way. Even when I married only the wealthy could afford fancy highly decaroated cakes. Most people had a couple of tiers of standard fruit cake, and some basic royal icing decoration with maybe a very small amount of basic sugarcwork (small bunch of flowers etc) . A local baker would do that as a set piece they churned out - very rarely bespoke.

so, no one is saying you’re work isn’t worth that . What some of us are saying is how the hell did we get to a point why anyone , except the extremely wealthy, would want such an elaborate cake that it needs your specialist skills and the time /materials costs associated with that. Cake is not worth it. Even for me who likes cake a lot

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What about other things?

The average wedding dress costs more than £1k.

There are cars that cost hundreds of thousands of pounds. Why don’t we all drive basic ford fiestas and be done with it?

Lets get rid of handbags and just give everyone a bag for life.

I’m in my mid 40s and have never bought a sofa. How much can I spend when I do?

Our £1k wedding cake is still talked about as a thing of joy nearly 20 years later. For everything about it. I don’t walk around with thousands of £ worth of diamonds on my fingers but lots of people do.

YOU don’t get to decide what people can and can’t spend their own money on.

Hadjab · 12/05/2023 11:38

PinkyFlamingo · 10/05/2023 20:33

As a Baker myself I'm sick of comments like this. If you want a cheap cake go to M and S or Cost Co. £500 is about average for a tiered bespoke wedding cake.

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Same. People have no idea how much work goes into it, and how much it actually costs to make...