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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about my wedding cake?

218 replies

Woolloomooloo · 10/05/2023 20:11

We got married a few weeks ago and had a perfect day with just one exception - the wedding cake wasn’t really what we had agreed with the supplier in terms of design.

I had sent her an example photo of a cake that we liked the style of but it had one subtle design feature on the top tier which we didn’t like. We asked her to copy the cake but omit this detail and it said this on the invoice.

We also asked for the same finish as the cake in the photo but with more vibrant, stronger colouration to it.

On the day we ended up with a lovely looking cake, but the colours were not vibrant and the detail we wanted omitting was included!

The cake cost us in the region of £500!

So my question is AIBU to raise it with her?

Or do I just accept the rest of the day was perfect and get over it?

OP posts:
MillieMollieMandy1 · 10/05/2023 21:39

I think it is too late to complain. In all honesty you might look like someone who just wants to get back some of the money they have spent on their wedding - back from honeymoon, feeling a bit poor...

pleasehelpimlost · 10/05/2023 21:40

Sorry OP, tend to agree that it's been left too long now. Glad that the rest of the day was great!

Soothingaftersun · 10/05/2023 21:40

For me it would depend on what you want to achieve by raising it with the baker.

If you want a partial refund then raise it as the design was not what you asked and paid for.

But if its just on your mind and you want to have a bit of a moan, I would let this thread be your outlet and then let it go.

SummaLuvin · 10/05/2023 21:40

Don't understand why people saying pictures are needed.

OP paid for a luxury bespoke item - the nature of which meant that when delivered there wasn't the option to reject (unless she was prepared to not have wedding cake) - and it did not meet the agreed upon design. I think it's fair enough for her to raise it.

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 10/05/2023 21:40

I think you should definitely raise it with the baker. They got your clearly defined brief wrong.

Have a conversation with them and see what they say. An acknowledgement of the mistake and apology would be a start.

Their response will no doubt be reflected in your on line review.

Don't let it go, you've paid a lot of money and they got it wrong.

Modda · 10/05/2023 21:43

Photo needed

ReadersD1gest · 10/05/2023 21:43

Why won't you post a picture of the cake, op? If the difference between what you wanted and what you got is really so outrageous, we'll all agree with you, won't we??

SummaLuvin · 10/05/2023 21:43

I also don't think it's too late. Many people go on honeymoon straight after their wedding for 3 weeks, and they are not doing admin there, or they shouldn't be, so it logically follows that a complaint wouldn't be raised until their return.

PaddingtonTheAngelofDeath · 10/05/2023 21:44

Two photos needed. What you asked for and what you got.

Cakeorchocolate · 10/05/2023 21:45

A few weeks is too long to wait to raise the issue I think.

It should have been raised when the cake was delivered. Or at least you could have gotten away with the next day or 2 saying you wanted to wait to check your invoice had the correct order details.

SalmonEile · 10/05/2023 21:45

Id want to leave a review if it was me - I probably wouldn’t coz I’m a wuss and hate confrontation
but the bottom line is whether the cake cost 20 quid or 500 the baker took your instructions: leave out this and make the colors stronger - and then just didn’t do that for whatever reason.
And I think if the baker doesn’t want to deviate from what they offer then they should make that clear and people should know that when booking

Daffodilwoman · 10/05/2023 21:45

The cost sounds totally reasonable to me. Did you state the colours you wanted and supply her with an exact match? I think unless you did you can’t really complain.

TheChosenTwo · 10/05/2023 21:46

I think the post wedding blues have set in and now you’re fixating on something which will just bring you down! Don’t do it to yourself. Congratulations on the wedding, have you been on honeymoon?

MaltedCow · 10/05/2023 21:47

Uh I feel you, I had asked for a dark green cake with one tier gold foil, what I got looked like someone had ran over Kermit the fucking frog and rolled the cake over him. The worst part is this cake maker was so talented and the one we agreed on was exactly the style she specialised in but she'd been a bit eccentric in the lead up to our wedding and I'd had bad vibes, seemed to have forgotten our order when I rang her. Wish I'd listened to my instincts.

By the time we got back from our honeymoon I really didn't feel like a battle so left it ride, although part of me does regret not speaking up so go for it and say something, you may get a partial refund or even just an admission of an error which I'm sure would go a long way.

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 10/05/2023 21:47

Zenana · 10/05/2023 21:38

The cake cost £900 at the last wedding I went to.

Show quote history

As a baker would you ignore the brief?

MultipleVeganPies · 10/05/2023 21:49

Depends

When it was delivered, did someone accept it, and was it brought out on the wedding and cut into and eaten?

If so, you'd look a right chancer to go and complain after

MaltedCow · 10/05/2023 21:49

And maybe posting the cake would be outing hence the OP not posting the pictures.

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 10/05/2023 21:51

PinkyFlamingo · 10/05/2023 20:33

As a Baker myself I'm sick of comments like this. If you want a cheap cake go to M and S or Cost Co. £500 is about average for a tiered bespoke wedding cake.

Show quote history

As a baker being paid a lot of money to provide something specific, would you ignore the brief?

SummaLuvin · 10/05/2023 21:52

It should have been raised when the cake was delivered.

Ideally, yes, but...

one - most brides and grooms don't accept delivery of items such as cakes, flowers, venue dressing items... they are busy getting ready, or greeting guests. There is a chance OP didn't even see the cake until the wedding breakfast (that's when I first saw mine).

two - the last thing you want on your wedding morning is to start raising complaints with your suppliers, you want to make the best of things rather than begin the day with negativity.

Wexone · 10/05/2023 21:53

why is everyone cribbing about the price? that is about right..I priced a good few for my wedding and paid 450e for a three tier cake. then extra 250e fo characters made for the top. that's what I wanted and it tasted fab. teh baker runs her business in a purpose built kitchen at home with all the appliances and is subjected to food and safety audits etc. these things cost money. of course you can do it cheaper yourslef by going a supemarket etc. eveeything can be done cheapee. however you are paying for someones skill here. we since have used her many a time for birthdays and recommended her to others. op i don't understand did you not see pics of your cake when it was done ? did you do tastings did you see their work before? was it all eaten? If it was me I would let it go and remember the good day you had. i am sure every one else enjoyed ut and thought it was fab

CindyCrawfoot · 10/05/2023 21:55

The fact you didn’t reject it at the time doesn’t mean you can’t complain now- clearly it was too late to arrange an alternative on the day.

That said, think about what you’d want- a discount?- and whether it’s worth potentially souring your memories to try to get it? If the cake was lovely and the difference minor, a 5% discount might be reasonable. Is it worth £25 to you to pursue this? I’d be inclined to let it go and accept that there’s always something you didn’t plan at a wedding.

LynetteScavo · 10/05/2023 21:57

I'd email them thanking them for the cake, and I would give feedback saying the colours weren't as vibrant as you'd anticipated, and the detail you want omitted was included (that would annoy me, because they just didn't listen) I'm guessing they didn't write down your instructions, and that's how they got it wrong?

VintageBlossomHill · 10/05/2023 21:57

I had something similar. I really don’t like carnations or lilies. Lilies remind me of funerals. I used a local florist who had been used and was very well thought of by my family. When booking the flowers I stressed and the florist noted that I didn’t like carnations or lilies. Guess what I got the night before the wedding. Bouquets and table arrangements full of carnations and lilies. It was too late so I bit my tongue really hard.

Quornflakegirl · 10/05/2023 22:00

I paid £120 for my twins first birthday cake 10 years ago so £500 for a wedding cake seems like a bargain. Bakers can’t and shouldn't work for peanuts!

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 10/05/2023 22:05

I think your to late now it's been eaten. It should of been raised on collection