Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about my wedding cake?

218 replies

Woolloomooloo · 10/05/2023 20:11

We got married a few weeks ago and had a perfect day with just one exception - the wedding cake wasn’t really what we had agreed with the supplier in terms of design.

I had sent her an example photo of a cake that we liked the style of but it had one subtle design feature on the top tier which we didn’t like. We asked her to copy the cake but omit this detail and it said this on the invoice.

We also asked for the same finish as the cake in the photo but with more vibrant, stronger colouration to it.

On the day we ended up with a lovely looking cake, but the colours were not vibrant and the detail we wanted omitting was included!

The cake cost us in the region of £500!

So my question is AIBU to raise it with her?

Or do I just accept the rest of the day was perfect and get over it?

OP posts:
cannaecookrisotto · 11/05/2023 21:13

MaltedCow · 10/05/2023 21:47

Uh I feel you, I had asked for a dark green cake with one tier gold foil, what I got looked like someone had ran over Kermit the fucking frog and rolled the cake over him. The worst part is this cake maker was so talented and the one we agreed on was exactly the style she specialised in but she'd been a bit eccentric in the lead up to our wedding and I'd had bad vibes, seemed to have forgotten our order when I rang her. Wish I'd listened to my instincts.

By the time we got back from our honeymoon I really didn't feel like a battle so left it ride, although part of me does regret not speaking up so go for it and say something, you may get a partial refund or even just an admission of an error which I'm sure would go a long way.

Your run over Kermit is funny 😆.

Fluffymule · 11/05/2023 21:19

You said you had a perfect day, and that the cake was lovely, if slightly different to your instructions.

What are you hoping to achieve? A few quid in compensation? Likely a tiny drop in the ocean in terms of the overall cost of your celebration.

Why tarnish your memories and the experience of your wedding with an after the event whinge and dispute that really is materially unimportant in the overall scheme of things?

Let it go and enjoy the memories of your practically perfect day.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 11/05/2023 21:19

PinkFootstool · 10/05/2023 21:33

How long ago? Complaints like that should have been at the time surely? Not weeks after the fact!

Have you got pictures to show us what you wanted versus what you got?

is anyone else remembering the haircut scene in Fleabag?

Harrysmummy246 · 11/05/2023 21:24

You got married. That was the point of the day. There was a cake. YOu can't go back with feedback at this point. Oh, and it's normal to check on these things before the day (or get someone you trust to do so....)

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 11/05/2023 21:27

The same happened with me, it was the wrong colour etc, but tbh it was a friend of a friend who made it, still a professional company, if it hadn't had been this I'd have complained

adriftabroad · 11/05/2023 21:53

My friend had a cake from Choccy Woccy Doo Dah (back in the day) It was easily 500 pounds, 20 years ago.
Such an anticlimax, tiny tiny cake.

burnoutbabe · 11/05/2023 21:59

There are many bespoke services where you pay a lot and if they get a specific detail wrong you'd probably not reject Brie while thing but it wasn't what you asked for and shows they can't follow directions.

What if the cake maker ignored a requirement like " no marzipan as hubby hates it" -the cake is still fine for 98% of people to eat but not bride or groom. A mistake should be raised to prevent future mistakes that may be more serious (using an ingredient that someone is allergic to?)?

squidgybits · 11/05/2023 22:02

You bought it and accepted it and ate it, FGS pay for it
Too late for grumbles

ilovesushi · 11/05/2023 22:07

My cake was green instead of cream. Lady at the bakery misheard me. Guests were a little confused but put it down to our Irish roots. It didn't bother me. Still makes me smile to think of it.

PinkyFlamingo · 11/05/2023 22:10

squidgybits · 11/05/2023 22:02

You bought it and accepted it and ate it, FGS pay for it
Too late for grumbles

She has paid for it. Brides don't get to "accept" the cake generally as they won't see it properly until they go to cut it either.

IsItThough · 11/05/2023 22:43

Wedding days aren't about it being "perfect"
It really doesn't matter -"feedback" at this stage just makes you an a-hole

T1Dmama · 11/05/2023 22:48

UsethisUsername · 10/05/2023 20:26

I think given it was a wedding cake people can’t expect it not to be eaten on the day. Plus if you’ve been on your honeymoon no wonder it’s been a few weeks. I would raise it with them politely, for such an important occasion they really should follow the brief.

This

of course you raise it with the baker. You pay a fortune for anything with ‘wedding’ in it… she should’ve made sure it was what you wanted!

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 11/05/2023 22:52

I think you need to pick your battles in life.

The baker should be allowed a certain amount of artistic licence....and it sounds like the cake looked good!

cobbledstone · 11/05/2023 23:07

PinkyFlamingo · 10/05/2023 20:33

As a Baker myself I'm sick of comments like this. If you want a cheap cake go to M and S or Cost Co. £500 is about average for a tiered bespoke wedding cake.

Show quote history

How many hours does it take to make a bespoke tiered wedding cake? 20hours+? Agree you're paying for the manpower so to speak but it still sounds too much for me to pay - for cake essentially!

squidgybits · 11/05/2023 23:19

PinkyFlamingo · 11/05/2023 22:10

She has paid for it. Brides don't get to "accept" the cake generally as they won't see it properly until they go to cut it either.

Show quote history

The whole thread seems to be about the inadequacy of the cake - reject it or accept - It did not ruin the day! A load of tosh and piffle about nothing in reality

Teenagehorrorbag · 11/05/2023 23:35

pictoosh · 10/05/2023 20:37

Yep I would. I’d never part with 500 for a sodding cake however long it took to make.

Show quote history

Agreed! Ours were from M&S and decorated with some lovely handmade icing flowers that SIL made for PILs golden wedding. Total cost about £50 I expect including hiring a metal frame thing.

But I suppose it depends how much much money you're happy to spend on a single day - we were sensible about everything as had other things to prioritise - If a fancy cake is what you want and you can afford it, then each to their own.

Bubble656 · 11/05/2023 23:36

Exactly what I was going to say, people do not realise the amount of work (and cost) to those of us making the cakes. It’s hours and hours of planning, sourcing ingredients and supplies , baking, decorating, set up and delivery we take pride in what we do, we pay for insurance, have our premises inspected and follow every rule in the book to provide a quality product, not to mention all the food safety/ allergy issues that we have to adhere to. So people should stop squealing £500 for a cake and respect what we do!

Hopelesscynic · 11/05/2023 23:38

pictoosh · 10/05/2023 20:37

Yep I would. I’d never part with 500 for a sodding cake however long it took to make.

Show quote history

Me neither, I've got better things to spend £500 on 🤣🤣🤣

ejbaxa · 11/05/2023 23:45

I would just let it go and don't use that baker again.

If the baker didn't read the brief, then I'm not really sure what good feedback is.

Antisocialfluffmonster · 12/05/2023 01:02

I really get annoyed when people make out like you’re being petty if you order something and it’s not right. What the actual fluff is the point of ordering something to be custom designed, and paying for it to be custom designed, if you’re actually perfectly happy with anything they are going to crock up with?

send a polite message explaining you were disappointed when you saw it, and no one is going to return a cake on the day because hello…:: you still need a cake!!!

it did get eaten so I wouldn’t ask for a refund, but you might as well at least tell them.

Amareta · 12/05/2023 04:37

It is too late to make changes and you really should have been paying more attention before it was completed BUT you can leave a less than good review and not recommend that baker. You need to own up to the fact that if you had checked on the cake beforehand it would have been perfect. Don’t let a less than adequate cake ruin your perfect day.

Cap89 · 12/05/2023 05:03

Amareta · 12/05/2023 04:37

It is too late to make changes and you really should have been paying more attention before it was completed BUT you can leave a less than good review and not recommend that baker. You need to own up to the fact that if you had checked on the cake beforehand it would have been perfect. Don’t let a less than adequate cake ruin your perfect day.

I really don’t think OP needs to take any blame for this. I never see the bride or groom at a wedding cake setup as I’m usually there in the morning. They never receive it or sign off on it and don’t see it till the day is in full swing. So it’s pretty impossible for them to reject it on the day.

I would also encourage anyone in this or similar situations to speak to the baker privately rather than leave a review. Mistakes happen, but poor reviews can be exceptionally bad for a small business. Of course, if the baker turned out to be really difficult/rude to OP then maybe, but that shouldn’t be the first response. One error shouldn’t potentially cost her her livelihood.

ZoraMipha · 12/05/2023 06:37

The only people who give a toss about the wedding cake is the bride and perhaps her mother. Other than that, guests barely look at it. It is only a cake after all.

@pictoosh Well I suppose you could say that about a lot of things at a wedding. The dress, the flowers, the decor - does anyone really care about any of it?

I think they all come together to make the day, and people actually care/ notice more than you might think.

If you don't have any of these things, it's just be a party. At my wedding, we got lots of comments from people saying it was the best wedding they'd ever been to, everything was so thoughtful etc - that doesn't just happen - it's a combination of all the effort and planning we put into everything. And yes, that included a cake, and we gave the baker a specification as to what we wanted. The cake was beautiful and people did admire it as they walked in. It was special.

And at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter if you think anyone else cares about it or not - it's the bride and groom that are paying for it and if they care then it's important.

littleblackcat27 · 12/05/2023 07:08

adriftabroad · 11/05/2023 21:53

My friend had a cake from Choccy Woccy Doo Dah (back in the day) It was easily 500 pounds, 20 years ago.
Such an anticlimax, tiny tiny cake.

Our wedding cake was from Choccy Woccy Doo Dah (back in the day ie 25 years ago) and it was completely fabulous.

I hope you're not one of my friends!! Grin

Roselilly36 · 12/05/2023 07:11

I can imagine how disappointing it was for you.

I don’t know why so many posters are surprised by the cost or want to see a photo of your cake.

I don’t think £500 is unreasonable for a tiered wedding cake, I think ours was around £180 nearly 30 years ago.

I would explain to the baker why I was dissatisfied with the cake, but I wouldn’t expect more than an apology.

I am sure your guests thought the cake it looked lovely and it was enjoyed. They would have assumed it was the cake you ordered.