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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about my wedding cake?

218 replies

Woolloomooloo · 10/05/2023 20:11

We got married a few weeks ago and had a perfect day with just one exception - the wedding cake wasn’t really what we had agreed with the supplier in terms of design.

I had sent her an example photo of a cake that we liked the style of but it had one subtle design feature on the top tier which we didn’t like. We asked her to copy the cake but omit this detail and it said this on the invoice.

We also asked for the same finish as the cake in the photo but with more vibrant, stronger colouration to it.

On the day we ended up with a lovely looking cake, but the colours were not vibrant and the detail we wanted omitting was included!

The cake cost us in the region of £500!

So my question is AIBU to raise it with her?

Or do I just accept the rest of the day was perfect and get over it?

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 10/05/2023 22:06

What was the extra bit you didn't like

Def need a pic

But you should have complained then saw the cake

Assume it was delivered earlier in the day before the wedding

Why didn't you say anything then

JudgeJ · 10/05/2023 22:12

CountryStore · 10/05/2023 20:19

£500 for a cake?!

People really don't understand the pricing of wedding cakes! There's a lot of time and skill goes into the decoration, it's not just the cake. My late mother made wedding cakes back in the early 60s and she would spend hours and hours making every piece of decoration but some still looked at it as a cake with some icing on it though this was back when cakes were far more complex than today.

mellicauli · 10/05/2023 22:14

£500 is a ridiculous sum for a cake. It should have been exactly to your specification. I would ask for a £200 rebate and expect to end up with £100-150 compensation.

ReadersD1gest · 10/05/2023 22:15

mellicauli · 10/05/2023 22:14

£500 is a ridiculous sum for a cake. It should have been exactly to your specification. I would ask for a £200 rebate and expect to end up with £100-150 compensation.

For what? The inclusion of a subtle decoration? You can't make a declaration like that without seeing what the actual issue was.

PaperLanterns · 10/05/2023 22:16

You had your cake and you ate it.

Let this one go…there’s nothing you can do to change it now.

SpringNotSprung · 10/05/2023 22:18

@Woolloomooloo decades ago, our wedding cake was £110. It was very very simple. I wanted it that way because we married late and had been to tons of weddings. I don't remember a single wedding cake. DS got married last year and I don't remember his cake.

Please let it go.

Also, fwiw, my bouquet was absolutely not what I asked for. It wasn't worth spoiling the day over and I got on with it, put on a big smile and said "oh, how lovely". Funnily enough it came out OK in the pictures.

Ourshoddyhouse · 10/05/2023 22:19

Cost of ingredients
Cost of baking the cake
Potential fuel costs for delivery
Guess the cake maker should just do the time spent decorating the cake for free, out of the kindness of their heart/absolute love of it 🙄

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 10/05/2023 22:21

It would not have been unreasonable to raise it but a few weeks later is probably too late. Check the contract, there should be terms for expressing dissatisfaction.

Dahlietta · 10/05/2023 22:22

I need to know what the subtle design feature was.

Banana34 · 10/05/2023 22:23

In the nicest possible way - get over it 😛

It could have been a lot worse. My wedding cake was on pillars and fell over during the reception. 🙄

Climbles · 10/05/2023 22:23

Id probably just move on because I find complaining a frustrating process

Moveoverdarlin · 10/05/2023 22:26

£500 is a normal price for a wedding cake. Mine was that price 11 years ago. I’d just let it go, I know it’s a big thing for you, but all of your guests probably thought it was a lovely cake. Just don’t use her again or leave positive reviews.

ExhaustedPigwidgeon · 10/05/2023 22:31

My cake at my wedding was the wrong flavour. I was disappointed but I didn’t bother complaining I just didn’t leave a review. Lots of things disappointed me around my wedding you can’t get hung up on it. Move on, you’re married now

CeeceeBloomingdale · 10/05/2023 22:40

If it missed the brief I'd raise it as feedback. It doesn't have to be a complaint but the baker should be made aware of the mistake.

burnoutbabe · 10/05/2023 22:57

Definitely raise it as a comment -it may be something subtle or nay be something vital that they ignored on your request (say including bride groom topper when it's bride /bride). Or could be a flower decoration that reminds you of a sad time.

Surely that sort of lack of attention to detail should be raised-it was on the invoice as a specific request! I'd also mention it in reviews too (with comment as to how they handled the complaint)

stillbejeweled · 10/05/2023 23:01

Do people really think the bride and groom should have rejected the cake on the day and not had one at all or maybe follow up afterwards.

It's not like getting a rubbish burger delivered, you can't send back your cake on your wedding day, it's kind of too fucking late by then.

I didn't see my cake until the reception as it was delivered straight there during the ceremony.

whynotwhatknot · 10/05/2023 23:02

i had a cheap wedding cake in america that i couldnt bring back but tasted gorgeous doesnt mean- if u want to say something about the detail just as feedback then say it nicely but wont get anything in compensation after all this time

Strawberrydelight78 · 10/05/2023 23:07

We need to see expectation v's reality picture's to give an opinion. But you did say it was a lovely cake and accepted the cake from the baker. So I would let it go.

CornishGem1975 · 10/05/2023 23:08

Let it go. I got married a few years ago and the flowers on the day were so far away from what I had actually asked for. They were beautiful and all but not what I wanted. I wasn't bothered on the day so much but when I got the photos back I was a little more peeved but I figured, what would it solve? Time has passed, it can't be corrected. I don't want my money from a small business back as I'm sure she was trying the best she could.

Dibbydoos · 10/05/2023 23:08

Congratulations, OP!

I would provide feedback to the cake maker. I'd say you were disappointed your instructions weren't followed but obviously had to use the cake.

Don't pay until you hear back. They may offer a cost reduction esp as the cake is a big feature in wedding pics. Once they respond you need to decide to pay the invoice value or argue it more.

If nothing comes of the complaint ie they dont even reply, you could write an honest review on google. Make it a balanced review with positives as well as the issue included.

Good luck. The cake being wrong is a massive disappointment when it comes to wedding cake.

neslop · 10/05/2023 23:11

Dibbydoos · 10/05/2023 23:08

Congratulations, OP!

I would provide feedback to the cake maker. I'd say you were disappointed your instructions weren't followed but obviously had to use the cake.

Don't pay until you hear back. They may offer a cost reduction esp as the cake is a big feature in wedding pics. Once they respond you need to decide to pay the invoice value or argue it more.

If nothing comes of the complaint ie they dont even reply, you could write an honest review on google. Make it a balanced review with positives as well as the issue included.

Good luck. The cake being wrong is a massive disappointment when it comes to wedding cake.

"Don't pay until you hear back" - if the wedding was a few weeks ago surely the invoice would already have been paid?

trisfreya · 10/05/2023 23:17

You know you need to put up photos before anyone can judge

Strawberrydelight78 · 10/05/2023 23:19

Well it couldn't be as bad as this one.🤣🤣🤣

HalloweenGhost · 10/05/2023 23:22

pictoosh · 10/05/2023 20:37

Yep I would. I’d never part with 500 for a sodding cake however long it took to make.

Show quote history

I made my own wedding cake :-) it was great! I shall have to pay myself £500

SparklyBlackKitten · 10/05/2023 23:44

@PinkyFlamingo
No matter the skill or the time
No cake is worth that much money😅