Why is it ok to be violent and insulting to a woman who makes a mistake.

[whatisgoingonintheworld]

A female calls a person 'lady' in error because she thought the person was female. The person identifies as non binary. The trans manager then verbally insults and finally physically assaults the woman and the man outside.

Is this really what we have come to. A simple word and the non binary is upset and so the trans person can kick a customer from the shop, purposefully insult and then assault.

So is misgendering (even by accident) so serious it merits verbal abuse and physical violence? I mean it isn't even obvious whether the person she called 'lady' behind the counter is non binary, looks female. The trans woman manager looks male and certainly acts it!

Why are so many trans women displaying what was formally seen as masculine traits (violence) now that they identify as female.

Oh the link is otherwise it means nothing.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12067759/Woman-55-accused-trans-Starbucks-manager-transphobic-says-feared-life.html

Because they're men.

Why are so many trans women displaying what was formally seen as masculine traits (violence) now that they identify as female. violence can be a female trait too. I think you have to be careful with your arguement to avoid stereotyping.

The woman who the trans woman manager called a 'Karen', refused a refund to and kicked her out of the cafe overheard the woman call a person behind the counter 'lady'. She thought the person was female! Wow, what an over reaction.

Good point. I guess I was going with the majority of violent crimes are committed by men rather than biological women. I didn't explain that though.

Sometimes it is really difficult since how would you know if someone identifies as 'non binary'

Well it's not "ok" is it because the person was fired and the police are looking into it.

I have no idea why you have the impression that this is "ok".

The manager definitely will have a harder time trying to convince people (s)he's a woman if (s)he behaves like that. Also, s(he) really looks like a young, fairly athletic, tall man, so there's that too

True. I didn't realise the trans manager was fired. That's correct and hopefully the customer received a full refund too.

The trans manager seems very angry yet the person who was misgendered as a lady when non binary seems less fused.

The woman in the video is brave to stand up for herself though. I would've been terrified to be confronted in such an angry aggressive way by anyone, man or woman. Way out of control.

I mean I've watched the video - the manager was not violent towards the woman and they attempted to remove the phone from the other customer who was recording them. If someone was trying to record me out of context without my consent likely to put on social media with their own spin I 100% would be angry and want them to stop recording. I also think it's impossible to know the context from a 50 second video. I think it's fair for customers to be asked to leave for abusing staff whether due to race/ gender/disability etc and I think it's fair for a manager to defend their staff team. We have only one side of the story here which is the person who was being asked to leave and their husband who was filming so it's hardly an impartial article is it? We've no way to know if they repeatedly do this, if they did it on purpose, if they come in regularly and are difficult towards staff etc.

The vast majority of trans and non binary people understand that misunderstandings will happen and usually all that's expected is an apology and correct gendering going forwards. Its highly unlikely that's what happened here.

It's not ok. However, having started to watch the group that call women transphobes or Karen or other things they use I noticed that the TRA group and it's supporters think it's 'ok' because they result to violence so often.

According to the Mail she hasn’t received a refund.

Indeed. The manager is talk and young and very aggressive. Grabbing a phone and pushing not only the man filming but the woman too and apparently slammed the door so hard it smashed. Some strength and anger there.

Exactly this. I don't think anyone has said it's ok?

I think it's fair for customers to be asked to leave for abusing staff whether due to race/ gender/disability etc and I think it's fair for a manager to defend their staff team.
You missed sexism out of your list. You list gender but not sex.
How do we know that somebody is a 'they'?

So no refund.

If they fired the trans manager then one would assume that they have seen the store recording and spoken to the non binary staff member called 'lady' in error to clarify what happened.

I don't think this is what we're coming to. I think it's what those individuals chose to do at that moment. There have always been angry incidents, for all sorts of reasons. They're not statements on society, they're just a few pissed off people losing their shit. There will have been a million kind, decent interactions going on all over the world at the same moment.

Many don't think of sex based abuse important. Strange how the creep of the word gender to try to eliminate biological sex. Sex based protections are really important.

Obviously violence isn’t okay and I’m not sure where it’s been implied that it is?

Without seeing the start of the interaction it’s difficult to understand why the situation escalated so much. This is definitely not a typical reaction to innocent misgendering, so either there is more context that we have missed to explain why the manager was so riled up (not that that excuses her becoming physically violent) or just a case of the manager being aggressive. Her being trans is largely irrelevant, just as with any other demographic there are good and bad people. One aggressive trans person isn’t a reflection on trans people as a whole and most would not act this way over one mistake.

It's very easy to make a mistake of someone's assumed 'gender'. People have evolved over hundreds of thousands of years and go by the look and feel for sex. Guessing a gender or guessing non binary is much more difficult to do.

If you require a special pronoun then you need to get a badge to inform people of it.

Yes I also left off religion and other isms which I felt were covered by the etc... signifying there are plenty more...

You don't. But like I said most trans and non binary people understand this will happen at times but the reaction they get to someone being corrected is what matters. I mean for a start the manager doesn't even raise their voice initially I'd say they're quite calm while the woman in the video is shouting. You can also hear her yelling that she thinks they're "disgusting " as the manager walks towards the door. In this instance I think the customers haven't given the full story and its being used to inflame tensions that already exist.