Why is it ok to be violent and insulting to a woman who makes a mistake.

[whatisgoingonintheworld]

A female calls a person 'lady' in error because she thought the person was female. The person identifies as non binary. The trans manager then verbally insults and finally physically assaults the woman and the man outside.

Is this really what we have come to. A simple word and the non binary is upset and so the trans person can kick a customer from the shop, purposefully insult and then assault.

So is misgendering (even by accident) so serious it merits verbal abuse and physical violence? I mean it isn't even obvious whether the person she called 'lady' behind the counter is non binary, looks female. The trans woman manager looks male and certainly acts it!

Why are so many trans women displaying what was formally seen as masculine traits (violence) now that they identify as female.

I think a calm but firm: "Would you please leave, Madam?" covers it.

Do you really think that a coffee shop should refuse to serve a customer for correctly sexing a member of staff?

That's getting dangerously close to compelling speech.

It's pretty Orwellian stuff.

So the customer was "well out of order" for saying "I was speaking to that lady", indicating a female.

and the manager should've used the calm but firm "please leave madam"

(note he could've been in hot fucking water if the customer identified as non binary with that good ole polite but gendered expression)

Eye roll.

Just drop the idea of trans altogether from your thought process. It’s only the belief of another person, and Freedom of belief is a right, not an obligation, so you’re free to ignore it if you choose.

So woman calls other woman a lady, then man kicks off at woman for calling the woman a lady.

Jesus if he had cut her head off and worn it as a hat there would still be arseholes on here whining that it was probably justified and we didn't see the whole thing.

@SweetiePi3 how would you feel if strangers filmed you out of context with the intention of you going viral online?? Might be legal but it would still annoy the shit out of me

Using the word lady isn’t causing a problem

The problem was his aggressive reaction

The man only started filming after the male member of staff was verbally aggressive which is why the start of the exchange isn't on the video.

He was her husband. He has every right to video his wife being verbally abused.

Stop victim blaming.

The worker assaulted the customer, emptied her handbag, and threw her out of the shop so violently the worker shattered the glass door. It is not on this video but was on the cctv. You also do not get to excuse violent assault because someone was filming you on their phone.

There is also no obligation to ‘gender’ anyone. English pronouns etc depends on sex not internal feelings of identifying with sex stereotypes.

Abusing staff by not being able to mind read some randoms “gender identity”?! Yeah, nice try making excuses for male aggression there.

The filming wasn't out of any context, give over 🙄

Men larping as women annoy the shit out of me, so does that mean I can be aggressive and violent towards them? Of course not.

I’m aware of who was being physically violent and clearly in my post I’ve said it was the manager. You’re deliberately misinterpreting what I’ve written because you take issue with me using her correct pronouns. It’s pretty obvious who I was referring to in my post, no need to be obtuse.

I also clearly said in my post that her physical violence is inexcusable. So I really don’t know what point you’re trying to make here.

If it was me behaving like the worker here, I would feel absolutely mortified and hopefully it would shock me into realising I needed therapy to deal with my aggression, and that I cannot force other people to follow my belief. I would also be lining up a solicitor to accompany me to the police station in anticipation of a charge of assault that I would plead guilty to. I would also look to apologise to the couple in question.

You are misgendering.

The manager identifies as they/ them.

Why on earth do you assume that he is a woman?

@lifeturnsonadime None of us saw the original encounter. I am prepared to believe the customer did not deliberately insult the non-binary server by calling her "that lady" but something else may have happened.

It is the manager's job to deal with incidents and to protect his or her staff and sometimes the best way to do that is calmly to ask the customer to leave and probably give them a refund to smooth the process.

There's no need for any judgement or calling someone transphobic or a Karen or clapping in their face or snatching phones.

It's not Orwellian it's called doing your job. The manager didn't did it well which is presumably why they are now looking for another.

Difficult understanding who you are referring to. Are you misgendering the aggressive male who goes by ‘they/them’?

Customer gets uppity about no cash payments, snipes about it to barista, manager interjects because of customers tone & will be required to back up company policies, customer snaps at manager and misgenders barista in process, manager points out barista doesn't identify as female, both customer and manager continue to jointly escalate situation with shouting and gesticulating and rudeness ending in second customer videoing and manager taking things too far because they're all worked up.

It doesn't look good for either side. This is what I took from reading through the whole article three times, carefully, as well as watching the video.

So you think it is ok to refuse to serve a person coffee if they correctly sex another human?

What you are saying is that we have to lie about what we see with our eyes.

I find that Orwellian.

I don't agree with having my speech compelled.

Any organisation that would throw me out for saying what I see will not get my custom.

If a human being needs me to lie about what I see to bolster their identity then they are the one with the problem not me.

I have had enough of this. It is not progressive it's authoritarian bullshit.

When is the world going to understand that gender is not a thing! It’s like the whole world being legally obliged to tip toe around someone because they feel down or grumpy or irritated. That’s all gender is just another feeling - of no more genuine importance than feeling grumpy! The world has gone mad but I do think more people are pushing back and not feeling like they have to accept this gender shite. Also who cares if you’re called a transphobe, it’s being used like some kind of weapon. Ignore it, it’s just a stupid meaningless word used to intimidate.

I think that now we need to refer to everyone as they/they regardless of a preconceived notion of the person. Identifying someone incorrectly even accidently has seen major ramifications in the world and the workplace.

I think the employee was totally out of line, clearly shouldn't have laid their hands on anyone and should have refunded their money. Apparently they've either quit or lost their job over this and the police are investigating.

But this couple are pretty annoying in what they're now saying too. I support the woman defending herself and wanting her money back. But for her to say that she was in fear of her life is ridiculous. If she was, she would have just left. And the fact that they're now in Tenerife getting over their trauma...!! 🙄 It's so hard to have sympathy for anyone when they say such over the top things.

It is the manager's job to deal with incidents and to protect his or her staff and sometimes the best way to do that is calmly to ask the customer to leave and probably give them a refund to smooth the process.
Usually, yes.
In this case the manager caused the "incident".

Absolutely this!

The linked article as well as the OP both referred to the manager as a trans woman. If that is incorrect then I apologise.

To be fair though it sounds like it escalated beyond the video if the CCTV showed him breaking the glass door as he threw her out.