I'm a single lady in my sixties and have very few female friends so made a vow to make extra efforts to try to make some.
Having chatted to a local divorcee in her early 50s a few times, I initially knew her through her job and then from bumping into her now and again and stopping for a chat. As she seemed to like me and we have things in common, I invited her to my house for Sunday lunch. I asked her if roast lamb and all the trimmings would be OK and her eyes lit up, and she said something like, "oooh yummy, that would be lovely!" She lives about a mile away and chose to walk to mine arriving at 1pm.
As you can imagine I was rushed off my feet all morning not just preparing all the food from scratch but tidying and cleaning the kitchen-diner and making everything nice for her.
Lunch was ready when she arrived so I served up and everything went perfectly. It took us about half an hour to eat the meal at a leisurely pace, she was all smiles and compliments and we chatted a little in between bites, she telling me about her two grown up children and four grandchildren. She complimented the food and my house and seemed to really enjoy my company. That is why what happened came as such a shock. As I was clearing away the plates, at 1.40pm she received a text message on her phone. She read it and stood up, smiling, and saying cheerily, "Oh, that was my son, he's already on his way to pick me up. Thank you for a lovely lunch!" Then she picked up her bag and collected her jacket and walked out of my front door to wait for her son's car.
I pretended to be all breezy and smiley and perfectly happy with her departure, but I wasn't really. She was here for literally 40 minutes. When we agreed the date she didn't say she would have to squeeze me into a busy schedule. She made no mention of having anything else to do on that day. I felt gutted because I had assumed it was an "open-ended" lunch in which we'd have dessert, then coffees, then sit around chatting and having a laugh and getting to know one another for a couple of hours. I imagined she'd offer to help with the dishes (which I would of course have refused).
As I tackled the pile of washing up I felt really upset, and even shed a couple of silly tears. What she did felt rather rude and I felt "used". Three hours preparing for her visit, and another hour clearing up, for 40 minutes of her company!
Had it been some kind of emergency of course I would not mind but I don't understand why she told her son to come and collect her at 1.40pm when she knew I'd gone to the trouble of a roast and "all the trimmings."
Isn't there a saying or proverb about "eating and running?"
This was a few weeks ago. We have since interacted on Facebook with lighthearted and witty comments on each others' walls, but she has not asked to meet up again. I'm sad because I really like her and she seemed to like me a lot.
AIBU?
Yes, you are BU -- it only takes 40 minutes to eat lunch so she was right to arrange collection at 1.40pm.
No, you are not BU - she was very rude leaving so quickly