Told to leave a group.

[MobilityCat]

I got into trouble at a meeting of people with a common interest. In the beginning, I explained that I had ADHD and asked that if I said anything inappropriate, please tell me, and I'll apologise and stop.
Guess what happened?. I did say something, and instead of telling me to stop, someone challenged my statement, and it went downhill after that.
A lady sitting next to me said that she also had ADHD, but that I should have recognised a line that I should not have crossed.
I told her that I didn't have that ability, I only knew if I got it wrong by the reaction it produced, good or bad.
She told me that wasn't true. She was also prone to inappropriate speech and behaviour but knew what boundaries she shouldn't cross.
Anyway, I was banned from the group, which was hurtful but not unusual. ADHD has cost me friends, jobs, and strained family relationships all my life.

Too many people using ADHD in adults, and children, as an excuse for poor behaviour. This is a prime example of that.

OP seems to have opted to leave the group thread.

Quite. Perhaps also a case of a not genuine poster?

There are quite a few threads where the OP shows up, posts something goady then never responds again. There's another one running now.

You're expecting a lot from other people. You should treat someone "challenging your statement" in exactly the same way as if they were pointing out that you'd said something inappropriate - apologise and move on.

Are you sure that you only have ADHD? Your lack of social-communication ability sounds more like ASC.

Just here to find out what was actually said. But I do agree with the PPs who have said that unfortunately the preponderance of people with self diagnosed ADHD using it at licence not to moderate their behaviour gives me fatigue. Plus it makes it so much harder for those who genuinely do have the condition to be accommodated.

It's less ok to suggest arsehole behaviour is indicative of ASD, which was my point.

Can't people be arseholes these without having a label? Makes it harder for those of us with genuine difficulties.

Hoping we get more context from the original poster.

No indication of the group either. The poster may have said something offensive or may have just had the complete opposite view of the group.

ADHD doesn't mean "I can say what I want and you're not allowed to challenge me or I'll kick off"

No it's really inappropriate of you to warn people at the outset that if you (YOU) say something inappropriate they should tell you to stop.

Someone challenged you, you got upset about it and the group has decided they don't want to deal with your inappropriate behaviour and asked you to leave. I wish we could do this at work.

It's not up to others to teach you how to be a decent person. You can't blame ADHD on aspects of your personality that could be perceived as bad.

I'm guessing the comment you made and were called out on had something to do with race, religion, sexual orientation or if you're in the USA perhaps gun control.

I don't quite understand how you need others to state what is and isn't acceptable in conversation though.

Do you have Tourette's? Do you swear out loud as part of the manifestation of a tic? I'm genuinely trying to understand the situation here and going on your posts @MobilityCat I'm just not getting it.

It really depends on the context.

preponderance of people with self diagnosed ADHD

How do you know it's self diagnosed? The OP only posted that one message and it just says she has ADHD, not who gave her the diagnosis.

What she says in her message, with the loss of friends and family and her difficulty putting boundaries on her own speech or recognising that she has said something inappropriate and expecting other people to point it out in a way that she understands, sounds like she should get an ASC assessment. Not everyone gets a full differential diagnosis and a psych who is only testing for ADHD may have attributed too much to it.

Makes it harder for those of us with genuine difficulties.

Losing friends and family, and failing to manage in a social group despite her efforts to warn people, is a genuine difficulty.

These are my favourite variety of weekend threads. 5 pages in, more context needed, a potentially offensive remark, everyone on tenterhooks, a seemingly oblivious OP.... it's got everything! Who's got the popcorn?? Chapeau OP!

Is this the book group involving badges and beastings?

A lack of understanding about what people will find offensive doen't sound like ADHD. Are you sure there isn't more going on in addition to ADHD?

Are you going to tell us what you said then @MobilityCat ?

I think your probably right.

Depends, do you think you might have dementia? Definitely the other driver, if so.

Posts like OP’s are infuriating, and yes I tend to agree that they are aimed at whipping up “ND people are the worst” type responses.

@Kanaloa

I was driving the other day and got into an accident - please decide on that information who was at fault.

Definitely YOU at fault.

Or the other driver.

Probably.

This is my thinking too.

I stick my foot in it constantly, make social faux pas, constantly say the 'wrong' thing and so on, but things that are so offensive as to get kicked out of a group? That's a bit beyond usual ADHD inappropriateness.

Hang on @Kanaloa it COULD have a been a squirrel/ mouse/ pheasant/ dog/cat/rat/child/man/woman running into the road, Yeah was defo one of those caused it.

So is the OP coming back??

@Kanaloa A fallen tree in the road?