Told to leave a group.

[MobilityCat]

I got into trouble at a meeting of people with a common interest. In the beginning, I explained that I had ADHD and asked that if I said anything inappropriate, please tell me, and I'll apologise and stop.
Guess what happened?. I did say something, and instead of telling me to stop, someone challenged my statement, and it went downhill after that.
A lady sitting next to me said that she also had ADHD, but that I should have recognised a line that I should not have crossed.
I told her that I didn't have that ability, I only knew if I got it wrong by the reaction it produced, good or bad.
She told me that wasn't true. She was also prone to inappropriate speech and behaviour but knew what boundaries she shouldn't cross.
Anyway, I was banned from the group, which was hurtful but not unusual. ADHD has cost me friends, jobs, and strained family relationships all my life.

So terribly tolerant of you, to accept that the gay people can't help being that way.

"It was a poor choice of words" would have done.

Straight men?

I worded it badly. No one can help how or what they are born, and we are all human beings, wherever we're born.

That's not the good answer you think it is

I was thinking geographically, not politically. I have family in Dublin, ROI, and have visited them a number of times. I'm sorry that people think I'm being deliberately offensive, I always seem to make it worse when I try to explain.

I'm not being tolerant, I can't help being what I am either.

So you admit you're not tolerant of gay people.

Well fuck.

Surely it's good manners to accept people as they are the same with how you wanted people to accept you for being you ?

Did your homophobia come out in the wash of your discussion with the book club?

You seem to be deliberately baiting me, and I'm leaving this now.

You have literally said that (gay) people can't help how they're born and that you're not tolerant.

That's your own words. Not mine.

But only you can choose to react, plus you yourself said "I'm not being tolerant, I can't help being what I am either."

But just because you cannot help being who you are, in this day and age it does not mean you should not have good manners and be respectful.

I think OP means she’s not saying it to be tolerant … rather than she’s not tolerant

poor choice of words on the sexuality thing.

OP, why didn’t you just put mixed race on the form? You sound like you enjoy arguing your point and then blame it on ADHD

I think OP means she’s not saying it to be tolerant … rather than she’s not tolerant

That's not what she said though

Yeah I know, I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt and assuming that is what they meant to say. Nobody says “I’m not tolerant”

They do if they're not tolerant.

Demanding to know just how “fully” Jewish someone is can be fascistic on the one hand or conservative Jewish on the other. During the war the Gestapo in Belgium employed what they called a “Jew sniffer” to find Jewish and part Jewish people passing themselves off as Aryan. Equally - historically Jewishness can only be passed on by the mother, so if you’re father was Jewish but not your mother you’re not Jewish at all. And that’s before you start on whether Jews are white - the majority identify as white, but some don’t.

A quagmire in other words.

I agree, it’s a complete mess. I don’t really know what to tick so go for white other and put British Lithuanian Jew. I was born here as were my late DPs but their parents were Russian citizens (though this is now Lithuania ) Though before we ended up in Lithuania who knows if we originated from somewhere else entirely? My DNA test came back as 100% European Jewish. It’s all very confusing for a lot of people and I can see why OP had a problem filling in that part of the form.

TBH, I was expecting a "my bad, I made a horrible typo" but that hasn't come.

I'm confused and cross. I'm bowing out because I honestly don't think the OP is capable of listening to other people and taking ownership of their actions so there's not much point in attempting to help them understand their impact on others and how to make this more positive. I mean, I'm sorry that people think I'm being deliberately offensive" is a poor attempt at apologising for being offensive.

And just think, those poor book club people only wanted to talk about books...

I am mix of two europeans and just tick white other

TBH, I was expecting a "my bad, I made a horrible typo" but that hasn't come.

I genuinely think OP doesn't know the difference between the words tolerant and intolerant.

No, they don't. They typically say 'I'm not racist/ prejudiced but...'

Exactly

You are still not getting it! This was a form about your ethnicity , which is why your ethnicity is relevant to your AIBU.

“African” is not an ethnicity. Your ethnicity is not African. Recognising differences in ethnicity (including in Africa) is important because of deep seated inequalities, racism, colonisation and the violence perpetrated against black people.

If you are a White or Asian (African) person who is unable to acknowledge or recognise this , you are obviously going to be seen by others as racist and it’s not wonder you were thrown out of your book club

This isn’t science at all it’s obsolete disproven historical theory from the 18th century. Although it is the origin of the word “Caucasian”.