Told to leave a group.

[MobilityCat]

I got into trouble at a meeting of people with a common interest. In the beginning, I explained that I had ADHD and asked that if I said anything inappropriate, please tell me, and I'll apologise and stop.
Guess what happened?. I did say something, and instead of telling me to stop, someone challenged my statement, and it went downhill after that.
A lady sitting next to me said that she also had ADHD, but that I should have recognised a line that I should not have crossed.
I told her that I didn't have that ability, I only knew if I got it wrong by the reaction it produced, good or bad.
She told me that wasn't true. She was also prone to inappropriate speech and behaviour but knew what boundaries she shouldn't cross.
Anyway, I was banned from the group, which was hurtful but not unusual. ADHD has cost me friends, jobs, and strained family relationships all my life.

Does it mean Black African, Black Carribean, Black British?

I would have read the commas as denoting or I.e. Black or African or Carribean or Black British. I guess it could be clearer by using a header?

(It's not really something I've considered before now, as its not applicable for me, and I do take things literally unless I know otherwise)

@kittensinthekitchen white and black are always in different sections on those forms

The OP implied they had been kicked out of a social group for being neurodiverse, and isn't that unfair?

We've been trying to explain why their words were interpreted one way, to help them with avoiding a difficult social situation next time and being labelled a racist if that isn't, in fact, true. However, their subsequent posts have indicated that neurodiversity has nothing to do with why they were kicked out of the club.

The OP has chosen not to address certain questions, such as whether they really think sexuality is a choice. The OP has gone on to describe people such as my family as "Oriental", which is an adjective used for objects, not people.

If the OP was only diagnosed as having ADHD later in life, I'm sure they had some challenges growing up, and yes, it is unfair that they didn't receive that diagnosis earlier. However, a diagnosis now isn't a free pass to overcompensate and say whatever the hell they like now.

I have found this thread hugely frustrating to the point where I've considered that the OP might be deliberately trolling. Frankly, I applaud the book group for drawing a conclusion that has taken us 20 pages to arrive at.

ADHD may impact how you respond to information, OP, and how much you inadvertently do or don't share, but you can't blame it for having hateful beliefs about gender, sexuality and race.

Tbf some of them were there for couple hundred years now and ethnicity shouldn't be just skin like these forms do (they should really just say race...)
Ethnicity is based on common language and traditions as wwll as ancestry. So if someone's family have been somewhere for a century I would say they can write that.

Using your principle of origination though you could argue there are no asian/black/other than white British though.

Then why don't they make that clear, rather than assuming people know that and using vague grammar?

I mean, they've specifically stated Black British, so it is confusing that they've not specified the Black African.

(I apologise if I'm being frustrating here btw, I'm trying to follow)

@imnotsadyouresad

Bang on.

And not only does it seem to be as I suspected another dig thread about disability but it is also littered with racism from OP!

Like they say Asian British but don't say Asian Indian

The reason I refuse to answer is that this is racial profiling. I've stated that I was born in Africa. Therefore, I'm African. I've stated that I'm mixed race.
I don't have to qualify or explain anything else.
79% of you have already voted me, YABU.

Britain is a relatively modern political nation not a race. So of course I can be black and British if I’m describing my nationality. However, it would be ridiculous to describe my race as Welsh - that would be strange and incorrect. I’m proudly black and proudly ethnically African.

You make a fair point about what ethnicity truly means and whether the form would be better described as race data collection.

But Black/Asian/Other British on these forms isn't nationality but ethnicity. So yes, a white person could say they are White African. Or Asian person could be Asian African etc.

Yes, ethnicity is very mixed bag since everyone is using different definition of it unfortunately.

Thank you, I'll certainly try. In the group, it went much the same way.I don't do well with a group of people interrogating me. I get muddled and lose the plot.

It is and I have sympathy with that.

But at the same time no-one can call the scenario in the OP without knowing your ethnic makeup so we’re at an impasse.

If it is genuine, I can understand why the book club people found OP so frustrating. It seems like intentional obfuscation and winding up, rather than a genuine misunderstanding.

I think that the UK categories are for the UK, and don't account for other notions of race/ethnicity - I needed to be educated about what "African" means to Africans - but believe me, in any [most?] African countries, if you're born there - whatever your skin colour and ethnicity - you're African. My mother is very blonde & blue-eyed, but she is African.

Well, yes. In the same way that you could be black and identify as British. It's not like this is an unheard of concept to Europeans 🤷‍♀️

Africa is not a nation though so it’s not the same.

Black and Asian British is used because the forms are British data collection forms and there’s a political reason to include a nationality when “othering” minority groups in the nation you’re collecting data for. But the race descriptor is not British but “black”. I agree, it’s not a straightforward matter and I have no issue with OP describing her nationality as South African. But even with the complexities, for the purposes of race or ethnicity data, if OP is not black or Arab she is not, and will never be ethnically African. And Africa is not and never will be a nationality.

So she needs to be specific- i.e. ‘I am South African’ and she needs to stop claiming African ethnicity. OP is wrong in this issue on all levels but there is an interesting discussion to be had surrounding ethnicity on other levels.

Is one of your parents of no white ethnicity I think is what is being asked? Or is your heritage white but born in Africa? Probably the most appropriate option on a form would then be white, other if your parentage is white. If that makes sense

I was just thinking it should be by continents for fairness for all.
European/african/Asian/n american/s american and ao on. Would make things quite interesting

Well, yes. In the same way that you could be black and identify as British. It's not like this is an unheard of concept to Europeans

But a lot of people are telling @MobilityCat that she's wrong to claim to be African if she's not black.

A lot of people are ignorant of the pan-African attitude to this (I was until a decade ago); that's my point about this specific category being a very UK-based one. It's different in the continent of Africa, and anyone I've met from various African countries has verified to me that my mother is African, even though she's as pale as pale can be!

if OP is not black or Arab she is not, and will never be ethnically African. And Africa is not and never will be a nationality.

That is not what I've been told by every African I"ve ever met!

Who is telling the OP they can't be African?

Plenty of us have pointed out they can't be Black African if they are not, in fact, fully Black. Black African is a type of ethnicity, not a feeling.

If the OP is part Black African, then they are mixed-race. The OP said earlier they were mixed-race, so I don't know why they didn't just tick that box...

You don't change your genes by wishing really hard.

Or maybe you do, given the OP has already indicated you can choose your sexuality by wishing really hard.

Op why did you say people can choose their sexuality?

OP clearly doesn't want to answer that question, but it's an extraordinarily offensive thing to say.

I find it incredibly offensive. People cannot choose their sexuality.

But the op is ignoring that.