I've been with my husband since I was 16. I want to know what people really think?

[OrchidArcade]

Just that really. I always feel a bit embarrassed saying it, if it comes up in conversation. I'm sure people don't voice their inner thoughts such as 'how have you only ever had sex with one person' as an example. I guess this is a.sort of AMA slash what are you really thinking thread;

It's surprising, but no judgement!

My initial thoughts; I think it’s great. So nice to hear of a happy couple who have stayed together. I can’t think of anything negative.
I know a woman who was 16 when she met her husband ( he was a couple of years older). She is 55 and they are truly happy.

My Dh is ten times the man in every way that any of my previous boyfriends were so thank god I didn’t stick with any of them (met Dh late twenties)

I'd def judge internally at 16 and 26, I'd wonder if you had ever felt you had enough control to leave if you wanted to

16 and 26 sounds very wrong to me. I think it says a lot about the type of man he would be.

I got together with my now DH at 19 - but I’ve known him since we were both 14. didn’t marry till 29.

long distance for 8 years. Then lived together 2. Then married another 6.

I have had one other relationship.

Think I am Demi-sexual as in I have only fancied three people in my entire life. Ever. And that’s after knowing them for years. Find the idea of, say, kissing insert heartthrob a bit disgusting.

(am 35.)

The 16 & 20 things is creepy whether you felt it or not.

I know I'm still in love as if I'm scared, panicked or don't want to see other people I always want my husband in those moments

This isn't how people feel love, that's an indication of a dependent relationship.

Sorry OP but you did ask.

@MartiniFlan no need for the jab. If you read my own replies you'll see that not experiencing multiple sexual experiences was something I felt I missed out on, not something I judge others for.

I'd wonder if it was a need for security or an escape. As I've met a lot of women who married young for that rreason. My Dm's lifelong friend eloped at 15 & lied about her age to marry . Her husband was 5 years older. They seemed happy but I always wondered why someone so intelligent, driven & stunning 'settled' for someone so lacking in drive & personality. He had absolutely nothing to say to anyone, even her, but was quite genial. Her Dad was v eccentric & v emotionally abusive. He'd give random huge gifts for no reason to my DM & her friend, but then spoil it by being verbally abusive ( regarding looks, character, anything at all) minutes later.

@Nirbil I respectfully disagree. I don't often feel this way but in illness or childbirth i knew he was who I wanted by my side. I'm fiercely independent day to day.

I’ve been with DH since I was 18. I’m in my mid fifties now. I’ve only ever had sex with him. I don’t care what people think!

I love how many of you don't care about other people's opinions and just crack on with life! I'm hoping this will be me one day!

I would think that your life experiences were more limited than someone who'd stayed single for longer. I would assume that you lived a contented, comfortable life but without necessarily reaching for the stars.
But hey, what do I know?!
If you're still happy and in love then that's pretty wonderful, in my opinion.

I've been with my DH since I was 19 and he was 22. We got married when I was 27. We'll celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary this August, which hardly seems possible to me.

Neither of us has ever had any other partners and neither of us cares at all what anyone else thinks, and there were people who thought it would never last, including my own parents.

No judgement here. Be proud of yourselves. 😃

Same. We got together on his 16th birthday. I've never really thought much about it, it seems like a normal thing for me.

If anything, I'm glad we've had so many life experiences together.

Nonsense. I agree with OP here.

One of my friends met her bloke when she was 15, they were married when she was 18 and had over 40 very happy years together. She was devastated when she was widowed.

Did the op say this is what she did? I met dh at 17 I wasn't at school then. We met when I was at uni in a city 4 hours away from my home town. We now live somewhere different to where we met.

I don’t think I’d see it necessary as a good or bad thing unless I knew you and your DH well..

If you were both happy and it seemed like a good relationship, then I’s see it as a great thing you’ve been able to have more years together. I learnt a lot in my twenties about myself and relationships but some of that time was quite unhappy. I’d love to have had extra years with DH.

If your relationship didn’t seem happy or healthy I’d probably think how sad that you don’t know what you’re missing out on or you don’t know anything else and think what you have is normal.

Only big downsides I can see is that it may well have constrained what you wanted to do as an adult. Maybe feeling like you could only pick the same universities or ones that were near each other. Having to apply for jobs in the same area and not getting to just decide to settle wherever you wanted, on your own terms. If I’d been in a young relationship that had lasted maybe I’d have stayed in my home town, which I was always so certain I didn’t want to do.

I agree. I always had boyfriends who were three or four years older than me when I was in my mid teens. But I think in many ways, people were very much more mature in their teens and early 20s when I was that age.

I was saddened by your first post to see that you are embarrassed to tell people that youve been with your husband since you were 16 - I would have thought you should be proud thst you both took your relationship and your vows so seriously and clearly knew you were right for each other. I met my husband just before I was 17, after having had a number of previous boyfriends and had an exciting three or four years. I knew he was the right person for me and we got our first flat together about three months after we met, got our first mortgage when I was 20 and got married the next year. I'm now 65 and my husband is nearly 70 and I've never had any regrets getting married at that age. Most of our friends at the time were married by their early 20s and met their spouses in their late teens and it really wasn't very unusual then. I also think people took their wedding vows very much more seriously in those days and tried much harder to work through difficulties than people do now.

I went to school with my ex husband, engaged at 16, married at 18. Four kids and divorced after 25 years. Still friends now and I'm remarried. Still feels like a win though 😁

A nephew of mine (he must be 50 now or not far off) has been with his wife since they were both around that age. Happily married since they were early 20s. Attended different unis, so plenty of opportunity to find someone else if they’d wanted to.

@CSIblonde I had a wonderful childhood with fantastic parents.
I married because we wanted to be together permanently, not because I wanted to escape.
Not everyone marries young to escape the family home etc, although I understand why you may think this.

I was 17 when I met my now husband. He was 20. We've been together 21 years this year, married for two years and a bunch of kids. He's been the only person I've ever slept with as well.

My brothers both got with their now wives when they were 16-18 and are also now in their 30s and married with children.

Oh dont worry about it! It is a truly wonderful thing! I met my husband when we were 17. We both dated quite a bit beforehand and he wasnt my first, but thats nobodys business.
I think its really wonderful that we have been together from young and instead of growing apart we grew up together.
We have been together over 20 years now and our kids are 7 and 9. We enjoyed life together and didnt have kids right away.

I wish you all the best and hope you are happy together!