I've been with my husband since I was 16. I want to know what people really think?

[OrchidArcade]

Just that really. I always feel a bit embarrassed saying it, if it comes up in conversation. I'm sure people don't voice their inner thoughts such as 'how have you only ever had sex with one person' as an example. I guess this is a.sort of AMA slash what are you really thinking thread;

I got together with my now dh when I just turned 15 and dh just turned 16, married at just turned 25. I am really proud of it, it hasn’t always been plain sailing as you need to work out how to grow up together but it’s lovely as most of your history is shared, our friends are shared and we just know each other so well. I think one thing that is different is relationships with each others parents as they each have known us from teens so they see us more like another one of their kids rather than a typical in law relationship which is good and bad in different ways. I do find it odd as our child approaches the same age I was as you realise how young we were.

When you are single there is no one else to tell you what to think, give you ideas about what to watch/listen to/think/eat/when to go out/go to bed/exercise/work/how much to drink etc.

I could do all that in my university years, as could dh at his university. Just because we met young didn't mean we were tied at the gip form being 16y. It was another 6 years before we moved in together!

Changingplace - my experience, and that of my friends who met partners young, is the opposite. Only one couple went to the same university. They moved in together in year 2, but lived apart before that. They didn't start going out until end of sixth form, so did have some previous relationships beforehand. The rest went to separate universities and lived separately for 3+ years before living together.

As previously said - although I started going out with dh when we were 16y, it was another 6 years before we lived together.

We married at 21, and we're 73 now. It's been a long road with the ups and downs life throws at us, but we made a commitment for life and kept it.

FWIW OP I think your relationship sounds lovely and healthy. IMO it is very much about the 2 individuals involved as to whether it lasts. Some long term teen relationships won’t be great, some will be co-dependent, others will be still living and healthy, just like any relationship/marriage.

I too got with my now DH when was I was 16 (him 17). Not my first sexual partner/boyfriend. We had a few break ups in the first few years though and moved in together when I was 21 but didn’t marry till early/mid 30’s. Had kids early and late 20’s. Not a massive party animal but I’ve still had some party/club experience. Worked full time and lived myself for a while. Attended uni in my 20’s. Sometimes travel around other parts of UK for work now. I’m a pretty introverted person anyway and like doing things alone. There’s definitely places I’d like to travel to but ‘travelling’ has never really appealed to me.

In all honesty if I could go back there’s stuff I’d do differently but probably more in relation to general life regrets rather the sole relationship itself. I definitely have had ‘what ifs’ but if we had broken up I wouldn’t have had my children so I can’t say I regret how things turned out either.

People may judge me or think my life is small or whatever but observing those who did everything ‘right’, I don’t actually think most of these people are actually any happier nor is it a guarantee of success.

I’m talking about people who didn’t go to university, these are couples who met at school, and have been together ever since.

Quite a few, all still living in the same small town we all grew up in with partners they met at 14/15 - irrelevant of when they actually moved in together, not the same as people having been off to uni separately, or even at all.

If they’re happy fine, but it feels like many just haven’t had any experience of anything else to compare it all to.

We got together at 17, now 41. Moved in together at 20, married at 22, DC at 25. We had both been intimate with other people before so not an issue. We have both grown together and forged our own careers in that time.

DD is 16 and has been with her BF since 14. Funnily enough, I think she needs to spread her wings a bit more but she is a different person to me and much more extroverted.