I've been with my husband since I was 16. I want to know what people really think?

[OrchidArcade]

Just that really. I always feel a bit embarrassed saying it, if it comes up in conversation. I'm sure people don't voice their inner thoughts such as 'how have you only ever had sex with one person' as an example. I guess this is a.sort of AMA slash what are you really thinking thread;

I met my DH at 13 and we are still together and expecting our first baby now at 29 and 30.

We have had our fair share of shit times but I really do believe that we are soulmates.

We both did the partying separate with our friends as well as together, the abroad holidays with friends as well as together etc etc so I don't feel I've "missed out" on anything.

I was with my first husband from age 17 to 30, married when I was 22.

The main thing was that I think it use to turn men on amplified that we were a mixed race relationship. Most women said how nice to not have to go through dating if their commented at all. Some people seemed to presume I was more religious or conservative then I am, possibly because of this.

With the perspective of both the good and bad I do sometimes wonder if women in couples who have been together from so young are just going through the motions in a thats my lot kind of way. But I certainly don't judge them as not being mature enough for such a serious relationship.

I wouldn’t care less what anyone thinks but to answer the question. I messed around at uni and was glad for that time before settling, not because I enjoyed the messing around. I didn’t, they were emotionless, shallow empty encounters. But it made me realise how valuable DH was…I guess I might think you’ve got nothing to compare him too, so possibly could think the grass is greener….

Similar here. Met when nearly 17 moved out at 24 married 25. 2 children 1 late miscarriage. Both very different backgrounds. Had little diliances before getting together but we have only slept with each other and both 42 surprisingly past 2 3 years best sex we have ever had.

We partied seperately holidayed etc. Yes sometimes it's hard work - harder I think I because we have been together so long. This year extremely difficult following a parent bereavement. But i know some couples who have married divorced etc couples who have been together less time and too afraid to be on their own and stuck in crap relationship

I couldn't give a monkeys if I die tomorrow having slept with one man 🤷🏼‍♀️. I don't understand the logic ?

But is that what the op and other posters who met their partners young so?

No one I know who met partners when young did what you state, as they all went in to university away from home to start with, almost all to separate universities.
So all experiences moving to new cities/towns, having separate friends, living independently, etc.

I genuinely think it’s lovely, to have that whole life experience together, all those memories.

I know someone who’s been with his wife since they were both 11! ( Obvs not married then!)

Meeting someone young is such a non-issue.

And here we have people who insist that they did things the right way by being single and travelling, then waiting til 30, married at 35 having 2.1 children at 38 or whatever it is now.

Good for you, no need to be condescending towards others and express pity: you can't possibly know you love him, you didn't have the chance to develop your own personality, you missed out on the amazing life I had how sad. Even meeting as children, there's zero reason why you can't do all those things. The only thing you may do is shag about.

I think this grates so much because it's always spouted on the young parent threads too. I'm not convinced that doing things 'the right way' makes you more successful or happier than anyone else.

I would just think that it is quite limiting. That you have never been an adult on your own, never really been independent, or lonely, or self sufficient, or selfish, not had to compromise and found out how you truly are.
When you are single there is no one else to tell you what to think, give you ideas about what to watch/listen to/think/eat/when to go out/go to bed/exercise/work/how much to drink etc.
I think being single is really liberating and important.
But if you found someone you never want a break from then that is pretty amazing.
I would question if you actually do want a break from each other, if you are curious that the grass could be greener because you might never know.
But I would keep all this to myself because it is none of my business!

i agree with all that afterdrop. To have never been alone doing your own thing in the world as an adult ever. To me it would be stifling. Not saying others “wrong” or being condescending just giving my honest view as op did ask what people really think!

As long as you are both happy op who cares what anyone else thinks

I was 18 when I met my partner, we started a relationship when I was 21 during a rare window of us both being single. It was quite a random pairing, we are very different in most ways.

Been together 14 years, can't imagine my life with anyone else. I wouldn't think anything about someone being with their partner since 16 unless they were desperately unhappy, then I might think they needed to get out and explore a bit.

I've been with DP since I was 16 & now mid 30s too! People always find it really strange when I say we've been together almost 20 years but I think it's because we are still 'young' tbh the relationship is fine, we obviously grew up together but I wouldn't have chosen him if I met him now. He's a totally different person & looking back I tolerated a lot of things that I wouldn't as an adult. We also don't have much to say now. I feel like I know everything about him & him me. So although we've been together a long time, I still feel envious of people who seem absolutely in love after 5 years! Time doesn't mean its a great relationship.

What caused the shit times? Was it external factors, or issues in the relationship?

The point is though that some people happen to find their version of your dh when they’re very young and missed out all the previous crappy boyfriends. Would they have preferred to go through the crappy relationships then find their perfect partner years later or spend those extra years with their dh?

It's nice in a way, shagging around dosent lead to happiness in the long run.

Nothing better than long term stability.

Don't let what other might think bother you.

Are you happy? That's all that EVER matters.

Everyone I know who met their partners young have done this, all the couples I know who got together in school have stayed in our small home town, and all their kids go to the same schools we did.

Whereas people I knew who went to uni, met partners later in life all tend to have lived around, done more with their lives.

If they’re happy fine, but I tend to think they probably just don’t know any different.

@KittyAlfred we lost my Nan and Grandad who raised me and treated him as their own both in their 60s and after a short battle with cancer, we've had 13 miscarriages, I had a mental health breakdown with my depression a few years ago which saw me in a psychiatric hospital for a couple of months which lead to a breakdown in money as I didn't work for a year, DH has his own business which is now thankfully successful but it's been hard, marriage counselling to help us through the grief etc.

I wouldn't wish some of what we've experienced together on anyone, we've been at breaking point but somehow we've bounced back each time from all of life's challenges that could have easily broke us.

I can honestly say I love him with my whole heart and I feel loved every day.

@ManorHall7 sleeping with multiple people isn't something I feel like I've missed out on. I think going through my friends teenage/early 20s one night stands and dating horrors with them has made me grateful I didn't go through that 😂 sorry to hear of your loss, sending love x

Those of us that met our husbands late weren’t all shagging numerous randoms and having dating horrors - that’s pretty offensive!

Same. Can’t say I’m embarrassed about it.

As long as you are still happy, it doesn't matter what she you were when you met him.
I've been with my DH since I was 18.
33 years later, we are still in love and happy

• What age- What she..

I didn't say that though did I?

Some of my friends didn't have one night stands, didn't do much dating and settled down a couple of years ago.

I was making a comment based on numerous comments on this thread about only ever having slept with one person.

That's just being in a long term relationship though ,I was 31_when I !met my Dh we have been together 18 years we know e everything about each, other too all long term relationship,s get t to that point.