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Original poster

To think some people sail through life ?

260 replies

Cuberubick · 05/05/2023 11:54

Please don't think that this comes from a place of envy . It's something that puzzles me . The vast majority of us me included have ups and downs and life is not always fair.

But it strikes me that some people live truly wonderful lives, with no great trauma , no health issues or money woes , great kids etc. Think Richard Brandon for example . I'm not knocking him just using him as an example .

Then there are others who seems to go from one crisis to the next , and have tragedy befall them .

Like I have said for the vast majority of us it's bitter sweet .

Is it a case of mindset ? what you think is what you get ? Who knows .

OP posts:
SallyWD · 05/05/2023 15:00

I don't know. I had a friend who I was envious of because her life seemed so blessed. So easy, so lucky. Then a series of unfortunate things happened and let's just say her life is very difficult now. Even if someone appears to be sailing through life you have no idea what's going on behind the scenes or what may be about to happen to them.

Booklover40 · 05/05/2023 15:03

Inthesamesinkingboat · 05/05/2023 12:04

Richard Brandson who struggled at school, dropped out of secondary school and felt that as a dyslexic he didn’t fit in?

And had his private island set on fire resulting in Kate Winslet having to rescue his granny!😂

ClawedButler · 05/05/2023 15:04

Good looks, wealth, life partner - all these things matter a helluva lot more when you don't have them. So some people look at those who do have these things and think those people are 'lucky', and are envious. When actually none of those things guarantees happiness.

Also, everyone has a different idea of what a perfect life looks like. And you simply never know what someone has been through or what fate has in store for them.

user1497207191 · 05/05/2023 15:04

AskMeMore · 05/05/2023 14:50

@user1497207191 You attitude makes no difference to the prognosis of cancer. It has been researched. And this harmful myth puts a lot of additional pressure on people suffering from cancer.

No, eating healthily and exercise is proven to increase effectiveness of cancer treatments. A healthy mind is also proven to increase your likelihood of eating well and doing exercise. Of course just "thinking yourself fit" doesn't work directly, it's attitude and mindset that if you're in a "good place" mentally, you're more likely to have a healthy lifestyle, diet, etc., which in turn is more likely to make your treatments more tolerable and effective.

Booklover40 · 05/05/2023 15:05

I never feel like this about other people - I don't presume to have any clue what is going on in other peoples lives. Some people slap on a fake happy front but could be going through difficulties.

I once had a friend say to me that I was extremely lucky and nothing ever goes wrong for me. I do have a nice life but I also have had my share of problems - I just don't talk about them.

sweetdreamstenasee · 05/05/2023 15:06

..yes some peoples lives are easier than others, is that the point of this post? welcome… to life?

AskMeMore · 05/05/2023 15:09

@Booklover40 Do you really have no close friends you have had for years?

HamptonCaught · 05/05/2023 15:10

AskMeMore · 05/05/2023 14:10

Honestly you do not know what you are talking about. What you say works for ordinary stuff like redundancy. But what about a close relative being murdered? Should you be sunny and optimistic about that? Or having a child with a limited life expectancy? So you should be optimistic that the diagnosis is wrong?

I mean I do not walk around looking miserable and I have learned to make the most out of every day that is good because life has thrown me so many shit days. But some things are just shit.

Show quote history

Totally agree. Some people’s bad luck is a hell of a lot worse than others’. They try to make it relative but some people definitely have a rougher ride and anyone denying it is just one of those who are sailing through life. They don’t know any better (or should that be worse?), luckily for them.

Bittersweetlife · 05/05/2023 15:17

No one knows their life but them.

Some do face more adversity than others, sometimes by their own hand and sometimes at the hands of others.

I was sexually abused for almost 4 years as a child, raped by my first husband and have also suffered a child dying.

Almost no one knows I was sexually abused and raped. I don’t tell everyone that my child died.

I live in a very nice house and come across as a very cheery not a care in the world type.

My life has been exceptionally hard but I do not take that out on anyone else.

Booklover40 · 05/05/2023 15:19

AskMeMore · 05/05/2023 15:09

@Booklover40 Do you really have no close friends you have had for years?

I do have close friends and we do get together and have a moan sometimes but I am very conscious of not wanting to be a drain and get all heavy. I'm just not an oversharer I guess. Also we are wealthy and my friends are not and I don't want to I feel like if I'm moaning they will be thinking "what have you got to complain about compared to me?" Maybe they wouldn't think that, I don't know.

Sartre · 05/05/2023 15:22

Richard Branson is a rubbish example tbh. As others have said, he has dyslexia and dropped out of school with no qualifications. He’s also now said he has ADHD. On top of that he’s a human being and all humans go through loss and heartbreak, however rich and successful they are. I don’t think anyone just sails blissfully through life, I think everyone has ups and downs along the way. Money doesn’t equate to an easy trauma free life.

AskMeMore · 05/05/2023 15:23

@Booklover40 I did not mention moaning at all. I rarely talk in any detail about what I have gone through. But close friends know these things happened. Even ordinary stuff I will say - I am being made redundant because the company are closing down that team and I am hoping to be offered another job within the company. That is not moaning, it is just telling close friends what is happening. That is a real life example, and when my friends went oh no, I said its a bit stressful, but I am sure I will get another job if the worst happens.

You said no one knows what you are dealing with in your life as you do not tell them about bad things. And I find that extraordinary to be honest. Even childhood stuff I know my close friend had a physically abusive childhood for example. She has never talked about it beyond that, but I still know she had a bad childhood. Its normal with very close friends.

HeroOfMyTale · 05/05/2023 15:27

I think that 'sailing through life" can be true up to a point but that everyone sooner or later will have a tragedy for them. For most people death of their mother or father will be devastating no matter how old you are.

I know someone who had a really happy easy life. Lovely parents who were very wealthy, private education, intelligent, great job, married a man who loved her - but then she out of the blue discovered she had a brain tumour and was dead before her 43rd birthday.

I know what you mean though that generally life is unfair and there is no real cognitive way to rationalise why one embryo could be born as the child of Fred and Rose West and another one as the child of Baraka and Michelle Obama.

daisymoonlight · 05/05/2023 15:33

Noone "sails through life". Richard Branson lost his daughter. His daughter died and you think he has no problems? wow. Just wow.

Thighlengthboots · 05/05/2023 15:36

OP- you really need to be careful going around saying this garbage because you have no idea what people have gone through. I inherited money at a fairly young age and lots of people told me I was "lucky" because of it. My mum died of cancer when I was young and my dad died of a horrible illness not long afterwards. My mum never got to meet her grandchildren or see me get married - but yeah, I'm SO lucky arent I? I'd give it all back in a heartbeat to spend a day with her again.

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/05/2023 15:37

@Thighlengthboots I can’t imagine how horrifically painful that must have been. I’m so sorry 💐

Thighlengthboots · 05/05/2023 15:39

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/05/2023 15:37

@Thighlengthboots I can’t imagine how horrifically painful that must have been. I’m so sorry 💐

Thank you. If you looked at my facebook you'd think I was sailing through life and you'd have no idea because I am very private and dont like to air this stuff publicly. You really dont know what anyone is struggling with behind closed doors.

Angrymum22 · 05/05/2023 15:41

The art of breezing through life is not burdening everyone else with your problems and tragedy. No one had a truly easy life. My life reads like a repeating melodrama, it would make a fantastic sad movie but I just don’t dwell on the tragedy and crap life has thrown at me ( and my family).
You only get one chance at life and there’s no point wasting time standing still.

sonsmum · 05/05/2023 15:41

Noone knows what goes through others heads and whether they think they are sailing or not.
Richard Branson has had immense struggles in his life (alongside all the good things) but what sets him apart is his resilience and ability to adapt to the situations he was in. He is inspirational.
People can however judge on what they see of others, which is based on our own frame of reference.
Many people have struggles/issues/worries and share with only select people.
Others however like to be drama queens and seem to turn everything into a drama, ultimately to garner sympathy or attention and/or continue to make bad decisions that ultimately lead to their worries/traumas.
Those people with genuine traumas/worries can be the most humble that walk among us.
In regards to health, it is a lottery of genes and lifestyle.

LaMaG · 05/05/2023 15:45

Bittersweetlife · 05/05/2023 15:17

No one knows their life but them.

Some do face more adversity than others, sometimes by their own hand and sometimes at the hands of others.

I was sexually abused for almost 4 years as a child, raped by my first husband and have also suffered a child dying.

Almost no one knows I was sexually abused and raped. I don’t tell everyone that my child died.

I live in a very nice house and come across as a very cheery not a care in the world type.

My life has been exceptionally hard but I do not take that out on anyone else.

Jesus.. I am so sorry for what happened to you

existentialpain · 05/05/2023 15:47

Some people live comparatively easy lives while for others it's an endless struggle.

I definitely fall into the latter category.

wildfirewonder · 05/05/2023 15:49

user1497207191 · 05/05/2023 15:04

No, eating healthily and exercise is proven to increase effectiveness of cancer treatments. A healthy mind is also proven to increase your likelihood of eating well and doing exercise. Of course just "thinking yourself fit" doesn't work directly, it's attitude and mindset that if you're in a "good place" mentally, you're more likely to have a healthy lifestyle, diet, etc., which in turn is more likely to make your treatments more tolerable and effective.

Show quote history

Dying from cancer is not a result of not being 'positive' enough.

MysteryBelle · 05/05/2023 15:51

Are you talking about Richard Branson? He seems to be having a great time. I guess we can’t see what goes on behind the scenes though. He might be wrestling with things we don’t know about. You know the saying, be kind to everyone, we never know the battles they might be fighting.

MysteryBelle · 05/05/2023 15:52

Bittersweetlife · 05/05/2023 15:17

No one knows their life but them.

Some do face more adversity than others, sometimes by their own hand and sometimes at the hands of others.

I was sexually abused for almost 4 years as a child, raped by my first husband and have also suffered a child dying.

Almost no one knows I was sexually abused and raped. I don’t tell everyone that my child died.

I live in a very nice house and come across as a very cheery not a care in the world type.

My life has been exceptionally hard but I do not take that out on anyone else.

❤️ I’m sorry for all that’s happened to you, you’re very strong and I admire your mindset and outlook.

UsingChangeofName · 05/05/2023 15:53

YABVVU

Everyone has ups and downs in life.
I'd agree that problems or difficulties aren't "evenly" distributed, but then there are also so many people that like to make a drama out of something that needn't be a drama, and there are other people who always seek out the positives from any situation. So yes, people deal with down times differently, but no-one goes through life without difficulties, or sad times.