To think some people sail through life ?

[Cuberubick]

Please don't think that this comes from a place of envy . It's something that puzzles me . The vast majority of us me included have ups and downs and life is not always fair.

But it strikes me that some people live truly wonderful lives, with no great trauma , no health issues or money woes , great kids etc. Think Richard Brandon for example . I'm not knocking him just using him as an example .

Then there are others who seems to go from one crisis to the next , and have tragedy befall them .

Like I have said for the vast majority of us it's bitter sweet .

Is it a case of mindset ? what you think is what you get ? Who knows .

I haven’t RTFT but have we got to the bottom of who Richard Brandon is?

What are you basing this on OP, what you see or what people say?

I have an amazing life, I would describe myself as incredibly lucky. My DH is my best friend, I have a good relationship with my DC, I have done well financially and we have lovely things and are able to go to nice places.

But I had a rubbish childhood and then got in a relationship with a man who was violent and vile. He could have killed me and left me in a lot of debt which took me years to pay off. So maybe that changed my outlook on life. I don't want to ever take the little things for granted. Me 20 years ago could never have gone for a walk, worn what they wanted or read a book in peace. Everyday is a blessing.

Maybe Branson has had a charmed life from being from a wealthy family and he seemingly does what he wants with little consequence.

He's a bit of of a grifter, tax cheat, ladish, which because of his public image, wealth, and what used to be good looks gets away with.

@wildfirewonder

This 'resilience' bullshit is very similar to the rubbish that you can 'beat cancer' if you just fight hard enough.

Yes, but a positive mindset, attitude, may not "cure" cancer, but may improve your life whilst undergoing treatment, etc., i.e. healthy living, staying fit, healthy eating, etc all help your body cope with the treatments (chemotherapy, radiotherapy), helps your body tolerate the drugs you have to take to combat the side effects, etc. Your treatments may have a better impact if you can tolerate them better and, yes, may "cure" your cancer at that time and put you into remission.

No one sane would say that you can "cure" cancer by wishing it away, it's more that a positive attitude will help you get through the treatment better, encourage you to eat healthily rather than say "sod it I'll have another cake", encourage you to exercise when you really don't feel it rather than say "sod it, I'll blob on the sofa rather than going for a walk", etc.

Realistically, your prognosis is likely to be better if you don't retreat into yourself, get depressed, which in itself makes you less inclined to eat healthily, exercise, etc. Of course, that's not to say that people who have a positive attitude don't die of cancer. It's just saying that by being positive, your chances of survival are almost certainly higher than someone who gets morbidly depressed about the diagnosis, so much so, that the body can't tolerate the treatment or isn't as responsive to treatment being it's run down.

One of my closest friends was diagnosed with cancer and it caused her mental health issues, so much so, that she refused to start treatment (in fact she was close to being sectioned at one stage), and by the time that she'd got her head around it, the cancer has spread too far, and the treatment couldn't go ahead. If she'd started treatment on time, the prognosis had been quite good.

Even in his early life, Richard Branson really strategised to make his business work. Money didn't just float past him while he grabbed it. He was actually quite ruthless in some ways, I think, which made him money, but sometimes he failed and sometimes people took advantage of him. He's been working at his businesses for 50 years!

No, everyone has to live the same life. Some are luckier in managing their money, emotions and kids with wisdom, love and patience. This is how I do it and noone has to know how i feel or what problems i resolve along the way.

This explains what I was trying to write so well.

No social media with my whole life on there, no moany moany at so called friends, deal with my life as it comes and being focused on my own. My home, life, family, job, hobbies, church.

God this is such a lovely post. I love hearing about people turning their life around. Congratulations 💜

I think many people have more of a dismissive attitude to their own issues. If you asked me I'd say I've had a pretty charmed life. Nothing too awful has ever happened and I have had some really supportive family and great breaks. I have a nice house, lovely kid and I am very happy. I've never gone hungry, always managed to achieve what I wanted, have found lots of love and great friends. My life is pretty fab!

Then I thought about it really hard.
I have some SEN, I was bullied in school, I have a chronic illness that contributed to my dropping out of college (later went back and finished my degree), one of my parents had a massive health issue 10 years or so ago (but is now a lot better), I had multiple miscarriages and later a divorce, my daughter has a disability.... So maybe not entirely smooth sailing but those things weren't my first thought. My first thought was all the great stuff I have now, |I has rather forgotten all the back-story crap!

And let’s also add he came from an already wealthy family and started his business with a large loan from his grandmother.

obviously he worked hard, and overcame problems, but from a very wealthy base. And clearly a supportive family.

I am in my 70's and I can honestly say I know of no-one who has absolutely "sailed " through life. I have seen couples who seem to have had it all suddenly suffer with incurable life limiting conditions as they hit retirement, loose adult children, or their partner.
What I'm trying to say is even if everything looks rosy as people age we never know what life is going to chuck at us at any time.
Everyone has their own private hell, it is not always evident to those around us and sometimes the only way we can cope is to have a positive attitude.

You need to add a third element to this - the class system / generational wealth.
Again rich people can have plenty personal trauma, they’re not immune. But money and connections make a far greater safety net than poor people have.

Sometimes you have no idea what goes on in people’s lives. I have a friend who has gone from one catastrophe to another. You name it. I’m sure she thinks I’m a lucky bastard who has everything handed to me on a plate. But the reality is I struggled with IVF and losses for years but I’ve never opened up to any of my friends. None of them. I prefer to be seen as the chirpy, happy go lucky one. When I meet with some friends they are just doom and gloom and I hate meeting up with them. So I never share any serious problems of mine, I can’t stand bringing everyone down. On the outside I’m pretty lucky but you just never ever know what is going on really.

Everyone has highs and lows in their life. Of course some people have lower lows and others have higher highs. Hugely depending on luck and where you are born. I don't believe in karma - some horrible people apparently sail through life while good people suffer.

However, some people are also better at dealing with difficulties. Or better at hiding it.

I think it's like miscarriage - once it happens to you, often you find loads of friends opening up that it's happened to them too. More than you realised. People often hide their problems, so to an outsider it all looks easy.

I know people who have been crushed by a miscarriage, and others who just thought "that's nature, it's common" and didn't seem that upset. Different mindsets, personalities, circumstances.

@user1497207191 You attitude makes no difference to the prognosis of cancer. It has been researched. And this harmful myth puts a lot of additional pressure on people suffering from cancer.

Some focus on negative and at every opportunity talk about it, others don’t.

Some people are luckier than others, definitely. I don't think anyone lives a problem free life though. I'm pretty lucky, but I've still encountered difficulties. Probably Richard Branson has had lots of other issues but just hasn't shared them.

Humans will always look for something that explains the randomness and cruelty of life. To somehow make sense of it because believing it’s all totally random is very hard to accept for some people.

Sounds rather like you are equating mental illness/health with 'negative/positive mindset'.

They are really not the same thing at all.

Your friend did not choose either the cancer or the mental health impact. for her loss

Yes, some people are such doomers and positively thrive on being seen as a victim, such that those who have the decency to be outwardly positive and not drag people down are seen as ‘sailing through life’.

I think a lot has to do with upbringing maybe, I’m also a believer of “idle hands make light work for the devil”. If you can keep yourself busy with work, hobbies, gym - what ever you’re physically capable of doing, do it.

I mean I can say this but at the same time I’ve had a pretty good life so far, had good parents who worked hard for me and my sister so it set us on the right path in life to get good jobs, nice friends and partners. Could be the hand were dealt in childhood sets us up for life maybe?

@user1497207191 Of course, that's not to say that people who have a positive attitude don't die of cancer. It's just saying that by being positive, your chances of survival are almost certainly higher than someone who gets morbidly depressed about the diagnosis, so much so, that the body can't tolerate the treatment or isn't as responsive to treatment being it's run down

Do you have links to the peer reviewed systematic evidence reviews which demonstrate this? If not it is an absolutely disgusting thing to say. This supernatural belief system that a 'positive mindset' means people are more likely to survive cancer has real world consequences when people feel guilt when they are dying or relatives think ' why didn't they love me enough to live?'

The thing that most dictates survival is the stage at which cancer is diagnosed. Treatments for cancer and serious and highly invasive and unless you have hard and comprehensive scientific meta- analysis that they are affected by ' sunny' attitudes you really should not be spouting this stuff.

Yes, some people have easy lives. Life's not fair. Some people would have easy lives but they court drama and misery. Some people have easy lives but they miss it because they think they are owed something better. As some people have god-awful difficult lives and it defies the normal distribution of bad luck how much misery finds them.

Most people live somewhere in-between.

OP as usual lots of people who have had an easy life just ascribe their good luck to their own efforts and mental attitudes. Or they ignore your point and just say no one has an easy life quoting perfectly normal life events that affect everyone.
They do not understand.