To think most women do all of the self care beauty routines I do.

[summerfinn]

Had this conversation with a friend today that seems to think I'm high maintenance. I get my nails done every month and eyebrows and a facial. I also fake tan once a week. Botox every 6 months and get my lips slightly fillled twice a year ( I have naturally thin lips)

I was under the impression most women do these things if you care about your appearance. AIBU to think this ?

You can’t be happy doing all that surely? That’s a lot of bad things to be doing to your skin and body - Botox and fake tans are extremely bad for you long term.

Your friend is right, you are very high maintenance. I don't know anyone who has these done. I do care about my appearance, but am capable of doing my own nails and eyebrows and own fake tan in the summer. I go to the hairdressers every 6 weeks

Wow that's a reach! I know perfectly well that people from different heritages have different lip shapes. I have friends whose parents hail from all over the world and o e of them look like they've had lip fillers. It's a very different look. It's very arrogant of you to think that not seeing things the same as you is refusing to accept some truth. I saidnyou needed to post side photos and you didn't so I'm not sure what you're going on about. I've not ruled out the possibility of making mistakes either just pointed out that a lot of people who think they have natural looking lips agter filler don't.

I think it sounds a lot and quite high maintenance, yes. And I am quite vain and consider myself fairly glamorous! Maybe it seems normal to you because a lot of women in your circle do all that? I couldn't be arsed with the time and expense. I wear make up every day, home dye hair once a month to cover roots (get it trimmed twice a year but its very long so no style that needs regular maintenance). I paint my own nails. Clean off the polish every Sunday night and repaint in front of the telly. I had gels a few times but they started looking crappy within 2 weeks and you can't do anything with them until you get them done again. Do a home facial Sunday morning to give skin a deep clean from all the make up. Had body hair lasered so I didn't need to bother waxing/shaving any more. Never had botox/fillers but wouldn't rule out in future. I'm nearly 49 and have never thought I needed it so far. I like my lips so wouldn't mess with them. I give my eyebrows a quick tidy with tweezers now and again. I am thinking about getting them microbladed as I use a pencil on them daily and it might save time! I get lash extensions once a year for holiday so I can look glam in pool without mascara! Never occurred to me to get fake tan - once a week sounds like a PITA. Lots of people have told me I'M high maintenance but I'm not compared to you!

I used to do nails, hair and eyebrows regularly. All fairly natural though but did make me feel good.
Genuine question how do people find the time for all these appointments if they work and/or have children? I have just about managed to sort 2 hair appointments and few threading appointments in a year since having my baby! Nails seem out of the question as I am either working or have my son and don't think the fumes in nail salons would be ok for children to sit in.

It’s very natural 💗. It makes me lol all the people on MN who claim they 100% know when people have had Botox, filler, extensions. It’s like proving a negative.

Admittedly - there are loads of people who have very clearly had it and go for the Love Island look. But even that is falling out of fashion.

It’s hard though to keep perspective and see when you are falling into the “obvious” camp.

I do my nails every 6 weeks - hair twice a year (I have very long hair) but get my fringe done every couple of months (thats free tho) . I have 3-4 laser facials a year ( buy as a package) and I have a home LED facial I use every night. Most days no make up but use make up when I go out.

Yes, this is where I end up too.

I do not do any of them, how rude of you to say these are to be done if people care about their appearance!!!!

Im sure your husbands appreciate the effort rather than you just letting yourselves go. And women wonder why so many affairs happen. Look after yourselves inside and out ladies!

This is, perhaps unfortunately, the truth. And the truth that no-one wants to hear!

I was under the impression most women do these things if you care about your appearance. AIBU to think this ?
YABU.

I'm quite glad I have a life, including a profession, which doesn't rely on this version of 'caring' about my appearance. My life is based on principles & decisions & behaviours far more significant than what I look like.

I keep clean & smell nice; I have nice clothes (which I generally make myself) I enjoy nice shoes. But fake tan & botox? - naff & vulgar.

@summerfinn Nope.

But it's no one else's business if you want to look a certain way and pay for your beauty treatments so don't feel judged.

You do you.

Sounds both high maintenance and expensive.

I get my eyebrows threaded once every 5-6 weeks (dye them myself at home).
Occasionally use some IOP tanning drops in my facial moisturiser if I'm feeling a bit washed out.
Paint my own nails, which I keep relatively short.
Bleach my 'tache and pluck my chin when I see the hair glinting in the light.
And I very very rarely get LVL done, but I do like the effect.

I would say I'm quite low maintenance and most of what I do is to control the various (desirable and otherwise) hair that grows on or around my face! I wear makeup only when I'm going to meetings or out of an evening.

Yes, I think you make valid points, and that the type of discussion you're referencing is useful. Unfortunately it seems impossible for us to have that discussion without it being tainted by a level of personal mud slinging that seems quite at odds with a theoretical discussion on the political context, and is clearly emotionally driven. I'd like to understand that really, given the sort of comments I'm referencing are clearly not coming from a place of respect for other women, and are so emotionally charged its difficult to see them as not touching a personal rather than political nerve.

Not me or any of my friends/work colleagues i know of. They might get their nails done every so often but nothing to this high maintenance

Notmyfandango

That is super natural, looks great

I go for the natural look. Rarely wear make-up. Never do any of the bits stated by the woman above. I mean, I suppose I don't care about my appearance, but I've got other stuff to focus on.

Obviously if this makes you feel great, you can afford it etc then go for it

Besides how it looks, isn't it worrying the long term affects injecting all these toxins and poisons could do to you?

Botox, lip fillers and fake tan I wouldn’t consider the norm.

I care about my appearance. I try to eat well and exercise and have a life at the same time.

I get my nails done, eyebrows and hair that’s as far as I go.

I repeat what I said upthread because this thread is so long.

BOTOX AND FILLERS ARE NOT SELF-CARE!!

Ew noooooo!

Do most men do this too?

How were you under the impression that most women do these things?

Surely you know a lot of women - Mum, friends, school Mums, Aunts, cousins, siblings, grandmas etc etc. You must realise that most women don't do all those things (either for financial reasons or simply not wanting them).

I care about my appearance - but, i dont have what you have. But, i do other things including keeping fit, exercising. I also look decent and wear make-up and have nice hair etc.

I do a lot of those OP but most people I know don't. I don't go on about it to anyone and don't judge those who don't, I just like it for myself.
I do see other groups of society who it is normal to have the constant tan and bubble lips.
I guess it depends who you are around! I work in a city centre and there isn't a majority of women having one look or one level of maintenance.