Page 35 | To think most women do all of the self care beauty routines I do.

summerfinn · 2023-05-04T19:22:05+00:00

Had this conversation with a friend today that seems to think I'm high maintenance. I get my nails done every month and eyebrows and a facial. I also fake tan once a week. Botox every 6 months and get my lips slightly fillled twice a year ( I have naturally thin lips) I was under the impression most women do these things if you care about your appearance. AIBU to think this ?

Oxbridgetitans · 05/05/2023 08:09

summerfinn · 05/05/2023 08:01

Do I get an award for most replies on a thread😂. I think I have hit a nerve in most people on here unintentionally. I see the beauty in most people so I always assumed most women did a lot to maintain their appearance.

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Yes you’ve hit a nerve with the ones who look haggard letting themselves go as they know full well their husbands are looking at you on the school run:) Margot Robbie is completely stunning and would do 10x more than this to maintain her appearance but she doesn’t look fake. They just don’t get it. Sure you look great and well done for not letting yourself go x

AngryBirdsNoMore · 05/05/2023 08:10

Quoronation · 05/05/2023 08:05

Are you saying people who don't keep up the same appointment regime are haggard and unkempt?

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Yep, the more messages I read the more I’m sure OP is being deliberately offensive.

AngryBirdsNoMore · 05/05/2023 08:11

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potatohead1 · 05/05/2023 08:13

CharlotteRumpling · 05/05/2023 07:58

Man, some posters seem obsessed with proving that Botox or fillers can look natural. And others seem very keen to prove that women who don't get them only do without because they can't afford them.

I can afford them. I just don't want injectables. However natural they look.
I don't know why it is so hard to believe that the beauty queen aesthetic is not required for most people. Or even desired.

Oh I am fully behind your choice. It's great that you do you. My issue isn't with whether people do or don't do anything. It's the snide and frankly appalling comments from people who don't do certain things towards those who do. I haven't read any comments here saying 'shit you people who don't do XYZ you should because you are fugly and it's obvious you don't do anything and we are all recoiling in horror at you whilst laughing en masse at you' Yet the opposite attack seems to be something people feel quite happy to do to those who choose things they themselves wouldn't. Rather than 'No I don't', too many people feel the need to attack with 'coz it's trashy/obvious/tacky/revolting/everyone is laughing at you'.
People who do this have a problem with themselves. Happy people don't feel the need to be really horrible. Calling people out isn't horrible. Denigrating then for making different choices is.

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 05/05/2023 08:13

midgemadgemodge · 05/05/2023 08:01

Actually I do find it a little sad that people spend so much time and money on their appearance - be that Botox or make up

I do feel they have been conned out of their cash - it's only necessary because they have been made to feel insecure in sone way

The pressure to look young as though being young is something to be proud of - rather than a stage you have to live through successfully to become older.

I'd rather an older decision maker than a young one myself

I am never friends with people for their appearance
I don't rate people more highly because of their appearance
( caveat - basic cleaning and coverage of your private's I think is respectful of others )

I rarely notice if someone changes their appearance ( friends don't expect me to notice a new hair cut or glasses without a prompt or long delay )

I do feel they have been conned out of their cash

What, even though plenty are on here telling you they're delighted with the results?

You don't want to do it, fine. Nobody will make you. But stop infantilising people by saying that you know better than they do about how happy they are with how they spend their money. The fact that you think Botox and fillers are about looking "young" just proves you don't know anything about them and wouldn't have a clue it's been done 90% of the time.

You're not sad for the poor women being conned out of their money. You're sad because they're having a treatment you don't approve of without being punished for it. On the contrary, they're delighted.

Gtsr443 · 05/05/2023 08:14

Yes you’ve hit a nerve with the ones who look haggard letting themselves go as they know full well their husbands are looking at you on the school run:)

Jesus wept.

potatohead1 · 05/05/2023 08:15

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Why the rude reply? Margot Tobbie is stunning. More so than ever and no doubt spends time and money doing so. Go her.

Conkersinautumn · 05/05/2023 08:15

YABU MOST women and look great, human and warm and real. Anyone with obvious fake falls into uncanny valley territory.

Oxbridgetitans · 05/05/2023 08:15

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 05/05/2023 08:13

I do feel they have been conned out of their cash

What, even though plenty are on here telling you they're delighted with the results?

You don't want to do it, fine. Nobody will make you. But stop infantilising people by saying that you know better than they do about how happy they are with how they spend their money. The fact that you think Botox and fillers are about looking "young" just proves you don't know anything about them and wouldn't have a clue it's been done 90% of the time.

You're not sad for the poor women being conned out of their money. You're sad because they're having a treatment you don't approve of without being punished for it. On the contrary, they're delighted.

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Exactly. Have a good day all. I’m off to do the school drops and god forbid I look good whilst doing it 😂

CharlotteRumpling · 05/05/2023 08:15

Oxbridgetitans · 05/05/2023 08:00

Exactly!!! You can be a great mother whether you do these things (or more!) or none! How ridiculous!!! Im sure your husbands appreciate the effort rather than you just letting yourselves go. And women wonder why so many affairs happen. Look after yourselves inside and out ladies!

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If my husband wants to have an affair because I don't have gel nails and a fake tan, he is welcome to. What even?

Though the dig at OP's mothering skills was a low blow too. This has nothing to do with mothering.

potatohead1 · 05/05/2023 08:17

RampantIvy · 05/05/2023 07:54

I should have said it would look tragic on me @potatohead1.
I have reached a stage in life where I don't need to impress anyone looks wise.

I like to look nice. For me. I like to wear nice clothes. I like to work out. I like to keep relatively trim. Makes me feel good 🤷🏻‍♀️

Quoronation · 05/05/2023 08:18

AngryBirdsNoMore · 05/05/2023 08:10

Yep, the more messages I read the more I’m sure OP is being deliberately offensive.

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I was kind of like ah ok fair enough I've taken the OP the wrong way but now it's like sly little digs

craftybeee · 05/05/2023 08:18

Unfortunately I find a lot of women (not all but some) let themselves go after having children and landing themselves a husband.

They stop taking care of their own appearance & therefore are bitchy about those who do & wonder why their husbands eyes go wandering.

midgemadgemodge · 05/05/2023 08:18

Looking good is subjective

You might think you look good
Others might agree or they might laugh or cringe or not notice

But don't judge others who don't want to look like you as somehow inferior

potatohead1 · 05/05/2023 08:19

Fourfurrymonsters · 05/05/2023 07:32

Good grief, they’re really not. You think fillers and Botox can’t be spotted a mile off??

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Nope they can’t. Unless they are obvious and then They can. Even trained surgeons argue about what famous person has or hasn’t done something but you seem to think you know better. That’s not entirely reasonable thinking Sunshine.

AngryBirdsNoMore · 05/05/2023 08:19

potatohead1 · 05/05/2023 08:15

Why the rude reply? Margot Tobbie is stunning. More so than ever and no doubt spends time and money doing so. Go her.

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I think @Gtsr443 puts it pretty well.

Hoppinggreen · 05/05/2023 08:20

craftybeee · 05/05/2023 08:18

Unfortunately I find a lot of women (not all but some) let themselves go after having children and landing themselves a husband.

They stop taking care of their own appearance & therefore are bitchy about those who do & wonder why their husbands eyes go wandering.

Wow
I find a lot of women base their whole self esteem on snaring and keeping a man (who may not even be worth the effort).
Its a bit sad really

TheNine · 05/05/2023 08:20

I get Botox every 4-6 months and 1ml in the lips every year. You wouldn’t call me glam or groomed though, I’ve never been able to ‘do’ my hair with any skill, rarely wear makeup and only get round to tanning every so often - and usually walk around covered in mud from my hobby.
Its such a huge spectrum, every woman has different priorities. Do what makes you happy! I’m a big fan of enhancements because I know they genuinely do make you feel better in your own skin, and there’s not a jot wrong with that.
I haven’t read the thread though, because I know I know it will be a depressing litany of women judging what other women do to their own bodies 🙄

Quoronation · 05/05/2023 08:20

Oxbridgetitans · 05/05/2023 08:09

Yes you’ve hit a nerve with the ones who look haggard letting themselves go as they know full well their husbands are looking at you on the school run:) Margot Robbie is completely stunning and would do 10x more than this to maintain her appearance but she doesn’t look fake. They just don’t get it. Sure you look great and well done for not letting yourself go x

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HAHAHA if my husband does the school run (fat chance) he's more than welcome to glance at Margot Robbie if she's there. As long as he doesn't harass her.

Qazwsxefv · 05/05/2023 08:21

Please do go reward yourself with a manicure. It took me years to give up nail biting. Well done! And having fancy polish on was such a motivation to keep up the hard work

Quoronation · 05/05/2023 08:22

craftybeee · 05/05/2023 08:18

Unfortunately I find a lot of women (not all but some) let themselves go after having children and landing themselves a husband.

They stop taking care of their own appearance & therefore are bitchy about those who do & wonder why their husbands eyes go wandering.

Why is it unfortunate that their priorities change?

"Landing a husband" eh?

midgemadgemodge · 05/05/2023 08:22

You see let themselves go.

They realise that looking good is a trap they fell into when young and naive to keep them feeling bad about themselves and spending on things they don't need

Howmanysleepsnow · 05/05/2023 08:23

I can’t wear nail polish at work so never get my nails done. Hate the look of fillers and Botox (so obvious, including those people who insist theirs is so subtle no one can tell: we can!). Fake tan no.
Brows v occasionally, that’s it for me.

Quoronation · 05/05/2023 08:24

I strongly suggest "Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women" by Renee Engeln

CharlotteRumpling · 05/05/2023 08:25

Wow we all need to look like Margot Robbie now- even on the school run-or our husbands will leave us? Ha! Like anybody would take on my lovable but definitely middle aged and balding DH.

I am Asian, so DH would be very startled if I came home looking like Margot!