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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fed up he hasn't checked in?

174 replies

itsokiwasawake · 04/05/2023 01:14

Dh is away with work. He went early doors this morning and isn't due back until later tomorrow. I last 'spoke ' to him at 3.30pm about a class party. It's now past 1 and I've heard nothing from him. He normally texts when he's finished work, got to his room, is heading out for tea etc.
he hates being away hence the back and forth we normally do.
(FYI happily married for over ten years, been together twenty years. No issues there)
I've messaged him around 8pm telling him that me and our daughters were settling down to watch a programme that the three of us watch without him. I didn't check my phone again until late but still nothing. Checked on his 'find my' and the last check in it did was at 11.45pm.
Then i start worrying. Send a couple of where are you? Are you ok messages. Then an hour later one of his colleagues messages saying 'husband has had his stuff nicked but is back at the hotel and his phone is going on charge'
So now I'm worrying what has been stolen and also weirded out that one of his colleagues who I have never had dealings with is messaging me.
Argh. I think I'm probably just overtired.

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 04/05/2023 01:30

If I had a problem I wanted husband to help with I would like contact otherwise check in about what? If everything is normal for him and us then it just carry's on

USaYwHatNow · 04/05/2023 01:33

Hmmm had his stuff nicked but obviously not the phone, but hasn't got hold of you? All seems a bit weird to me.

WandaWonder · 04/05/2023 01:36

WandaWonder · 04/05/2023 01:30

If I had a problem I wanted husband to help with I would like contact otherwise check in about what? If everything is normal for him and us then it just carry's on

The other stuff is weird

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 04/05/2023 01:49

Can't you just call him on his room phone via the hotel?

Oneglassisnotenough · 04/05/2023 01:53

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 04/05/2023 01:49

Can't you just call him on his room phone via the hotel?

That’s what I was thinking.

Cakeandcoffee93 · 04/05/2023 02:01

Ring the hotel and get them to check in on him?

autienotnaughtym · 04/05/2023 02:56

There's not a lot you can do. I would sleep and ring phone in morning. If no answer ring hotel/work.

BusterGonad · 04/05/2023 04:50

His phone wasn't stolen, it's on charge yet he can't text you. Unless he's at the police station giving a statement or at hospital being checked out it all sounds a bit strange. But this type of thing has never happened to me so what do I know?

FurAndFeathers · 04/05/2023 04:52

Why can’t he text whilst his phone is charging? What was stolen?

AutumnCrow · 04/05/2023 05:15

How did the colleague message you? My OH’s colleagues wouldn’t have a clue what my number was, unless they look it from my OH’s phone, which would have to be switched on. And if it was switched on, OH would text me …

And if a colleague did message me at 12.45am, I’d message them back and ask to be put on the phone to OH.

Its all very strange and I hope you get to the bottom of it. Hopefully ‘stuff nicked’ is overnight bag of a few clothes going AWOL and not ‘wallet nicked in dodgy club’.

Wife2b · 04/05/2023 05:20

Maybe his phone died, he’s put it on charge and gone to the hotel bar for a drink/coffee etc. If he has had his stuff nicked, it sounds like it’s been a stressful night. Also I wouldn’t be weirded out by the colleague messaging, it’s nice they they have updated you, I imagine your DH knows your number and said you’d be worrying. You’ve been together 20 years, relationship sounds stable, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt.

GoodChat · 04/05/2023 05:59

You'd spoken to him 8 hours before you posted. You know he's fine. This sounds a bit full on.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/05/2023 06:12

Wife2b · 04/05/2023 05:20

Maybe his phone died, he’s put it on charge and gone to the hotel bar for a drink/coffee etc. If he has had his stuff nicked, it sounds like it’s been a stressful night. Also I wouldn’t be weirded out by the colleague messaging, it’s nice they they have updated you, I imagine your DH knows your number and said you’d be worrying. You’ve been together 20 years, relationship sounds stable, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt.

This sounds like a plausible explanation. I expect you’ll hear from him shortly this morning.

Isthisexpected · 04/05/2023 06:15

He's got "lucky" and a colleague is covering for him is the first thing that springs to mind. This is an elaborate tale that screams cover up to me!

StonwEd · 04/05/2023 06:16

I don’t stay in loads of hotels but is a phone in them always a thing? I stayed in one of the nice village group ones recently for work and it didn’t have one but I did wonder how I’d reach reception if I needed it. Missing point, I hope all ok OP. Bit odd not texting you from own phone, only takes a minute to plug in and turn on

Isthisexpected · 04/05/2023 06:17

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/05/2023 06:12

This sounds like a plausible explanation. I expect you’ll hear from him shortly this morning.

Show quote history

Why get a colleague to text if you're just charging your phone? It takes a minute to plug in, text then leave it on charge whilst you go to the bar. Can't imagine saying to colleagues I'm just going to turn on my phone, give you wife's number, then turn it off again to charge. Please can you text her?

MichelleScarn · 04/05/2023 06:19

I lost my bag once (well Ryanair did) going away, charger was in it and as was ancient blackberry no one was with had one I could borrow. Hotel did but had to leave phone at reception to charge as people were borrowing them but not returning. Could be like that?

Pepperama · 04/05/2023 06:22

I’d wait till he’s home and see what the story is. I’m away a lot with work and usually check in but not always depending what’s on, if we’re out late etc. If I was you I’d not ring home or the hotel but just wait for an update from him about what happened… - might have been busy reporting the lost stuff and then crashed out, or had a bit too much to drink

monotonemusings · 04/05/2023 06:22

I was think you were being OTT but then got to the bit about colleague etc. I would want to actually speak to him.

GoodChat · 04/05/2023 06:23

Isthisexpected · 04/05/2023 06:15

He's got "lucky" and a colleague is covering for him is the first thing that springs to mind. This is an elaborate tale that screams cover up to me!

You've been on Mumsnet too long if that's the first thing that springs to mind.

It's more plausible that he's got drunk and knows OP will kick off so his colleagues promised to cover for him.

AutumnCrow · 04/05/2023 06:26

monotonemusings · 04/05/2023 06:22

I was think you were being OTT but then got to the bit about colleague etc. I would want to actually speak to him.

I would if the whole story sounded worryingly out of character. It would be for OH.

OTOH, for others, it wouldn’t.

mainsfed · 04/05/2023 06:26

Does DH know your mobile number from memory?

If not, instead of giving colleague your number to message, why didn’t he message you himself?

knittingaddict · 04/05/2023 06:44

Not sure that op thought this one through.7

Isthisexpected · 04/05/2023 06:45

GoodChat · 04/05/2023 06:23

You've been on Mumsnet too long if that's the first thing that springs to mind.

It's more plausible that he's got drunk and knows OP will kick off so his colleagues promised to cover for him.

Show quote history

I have definitely become cynical from 8+ years on here!

Isthisexpected · 04/05/2023 06:45

knittingaddict · 04/05/2023 06:44

Not sure that op thought this one through.7

It never occurs to me. Don't seem to be cynical about that!

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