To be fed up he hasn't checked in?

[itsokiwasawake]

Dh is away with work. He went early doors this morning and isn't due back until later tomorrow. I last 'spoke ' to him at 3.30pm about a class party. It's now past 1 and I've heard nothing from him. He normally texts when he's finished work, got to his room, is heading out for tea etc.
he hates being away hence the back and forth we normally do.
(FYI happily married for over ten years, been together twenty years. No issues there)
I've messaged him around 8pm telling him that me and our daughters were settling down to watch a programme that the three of us watch without him. I didn't check my phone again until late but still nothing. Checked on his 'find my' and the last check in it did was at 11.45pm.
Then i start worrying. Send a couple of where are you? Are you ok messages. Then an hour later one of his colleagues messages saying 'husband has had his stuff nicked but is back at the hotel and his phone is going on charge'
So now I'm worrying what has been stolen and also weirded out that one of his colleagues who I have never had dealings with is messaging me.
Argh. I think I'm probably just overtired.

Very odd , why on earth didn’t he borrow his work mates phone and simply call you ,
sorry sounds fishy to me

Because he doesn't know her number.
The friend messaged OP, presumably on social media, to let her know what had happened.

On social media , he could of included his friends number to call him back
it’s very strange

This was resolved, all to the OP's satisfaction, over 24 hours ago. He was on a train at 3pm yesterday heading home. The curtains have come down, the lights have been dimmed, the doors closed. Why on earth are people still ruminating over this? For whose benefit this unkind speculation?

It sounds like he was exhausted and overwhelmed. It was after he was resting when his friend messaged.

I have a full time senior role and a toddler, I don’t think I would notice if DH had been gone a week without getting in touch. This feels very full on, let the poor guy breathe.

And from that we can conclude that people are different, why should a couple behave in the same way as you f both of them are happy with the way they are?

Are you thinking that perhaps your way is inherently better or the only way?

So much being read into this when it's probably - he had his phone on him. His stuff was nicked from his room. He's used his phone and hence drained his battery trying to get help. Didn't want to worry you or have a minute to message. He's asked his colleague to message you now he's back from the police station or wherever he was reporting the theft.

I hope he is OK and you talk soon.

This all sounds very plausable and everything he can you’d be able to find proof of if it was a lie. I’d be the same as you, so don’t let the negatives bother you, my husband sounds like yours and naturally a female collegue would more likely understand letting his wife know than a male who wouldn’t think about it.

I actually think that’a less normal than the initial post.

This is deeply bizarre & concerning. You are FAR too enmeshed with each other, crikey

The only thing deeply bizarre and concerning is your complete failure to appreciate people do relationships differently and what works for one couple might not fly for another.
Blimey.

I personally think he’s spent time with the lady that messaged you I would seriously look into the so called friendship he will tell you don’t be daft she’s just a work colleague believe me they all say that, I hope you get to the bottom of the truth soon.

Erm.
People really need to read threads.
😂

Oh FGS.

Cheating.

What a cuntish remark, based on nothing whatsoever. This is a real woman, with a real relationship and this has been resolved. Would you like to explain precisely what is wrong with you?

You see this quite often and frankly, the only logical theory is that their life is a shitshow so they want others' lives to implode too. What else would that be...

I also find it incredibly depressing the amount of people who see a man and a woman and assume 'affair'.
He's not having an affair. He was a victim of a crime but he's ok. Stuff can be replaced over time and he will be more careful next time he travels.

Argh your poor husband, I'm guessing he's probably had to go through loads of hurdles to wipe/ disable his laptop remotely.
I don't understand why people don't realise relationships are all different. Some couples will text each other during the day or chat on the phone.
Dh regularly works away, he texts when he's arrived at his destination, and texts when he's leaving. He sometimes FaceTimes so the kids can say goodnight to him (depending on time zones).
Other couples won't be in communication at all. There isn't a right or wrong.

@itsokiwasawake - I'm late to the thread, but I'm glad it's all resolved. FWIW, I would have felt and done exactly the same as you!

Don't think your actions towards him suggest controlling. But posting all the panic on mumsnet is a bit odd. Just phone a friend

At 1am?

@VisionsOfSplendour I was thinking OP may want to calm down a bit as they seemed to be creating a lot of anxiety for themselves. I have been that person in the past and it never ended well for me. You live and learn I guess.