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Original poster

To be fed up he hasn't checked in?

174 replies

itsokiwasawake · 04/05/2023 01:14

Dh is away with work. He went early doors this morning and isn't due back until later tomorrow. I last 'spoke ' to him at 3.30pm about a class party. It's now past 1 and I've heard nothing from him. He normally texts when he's finished work, got to his room, is heading out for tea etc.
he hates being away hence the back and forth we normally do.
(FYI happily married for over ten years, been together twenty years. No issues there)
I've messaged him around 8pm telling him that me and our daughters were settling down to watch a programme that the three of us watch without him. I didn't check my phone again until late but still nothing. Checked on his 'find my' and the last check in it did was at 11.45pm.
Then i start worrying. Send a couple of where are you? Are you ok messages. Then an hour later one of his colleagues messages saying 'husband has had his stuff nicked but is back at the hotel and his phone is going on charge'
So now I'm worrying what has been stolen and also weirded out that one of his colleagues who I have never had dealings with is messaging me.
Argh. I think I'm probably just overtired.

OP posts:
purser25 · 04/05/2023 16:39

Bad that his bag was stolen wonder if it was a member of staff in the tea place. I know this happened to a friend of mine. Worth trying to phone his phone again they might have charged it.

WeeblesWobbled · 04/05/2023 16:42

What's interesting to me is that when I first read this I assumed he was travelling to another country, which somehow makes it understandable that you want to know that someone's arrived safely etc, but he wasn't was he? He was in the UK so it feels a bit strange. But then again I am single so I don't have to deal with stuff like this and I would probably be the same as OP if I did because I'm a bit of a worrier. It sounds as though OP is in a nice little bubble with dh and the kids, which is why they have their communication rituals and worry when someone is a little further from their nest than usual. If that's your thing it's quite lovely.

Sorry to analyse like this OP. On MN we don't know you, but when a post goes up we like to speculate, analyse, second guess, fill in gaps etc. Don't take it personally.

PocketfullOfMiracles · 04/05/2023 16:52

I get it too OP.
when DH travels first thing he usually does is WhatsApp a pic of the view from his window and how fancy (or not) his bathroom is. I’d also be a bit concerned something had happened to him if he hasn’t done those things as he has done them for so long.

It’s normal for us, it’s normal for you. Some people it’s not normal for and that’s ok as well, whatever works.

problem on here is some posters have total lack of understanding outside their own lives. Probably why there is agitated so many “I don’t understaaaaaaaaand” threads on here.

Hope he’s home soon, being robbed can leave people with a lot of unexpected feelings poor bloke.

eurochick · 04/05/2023 17:03

I travel quite a bit for work. My husband travels occasionally for work. We are not a tied at the hip couple but often message back and forth when we are free. There can be times we don't when we are slammed. If I had all my stuff nicked I would want to tell him and download. I wouldn't think it odd if a colleague helped me get in touch with him if my own phone had gone.

I'm curious as to where this lawless place is.

TaLooLaBell · 04/05/2023 17:05

Ignore them, I would have felt exactly the same

I'm glad it's all worked out in the end

SofiaSoFar · 04/05/2023 17:26

Pallisers · 04/05/2023 15:14

Seriously! Dh and I often text and talk when we are away. We like talking to each other. And if I had gone away for work and had my bag stolen, damn right I'd be telling DH all the details the next morning - he wouldn't have to "grill" me about it to get the story.

Still this thread was worth it for @PhoenixIsFlying's mispost alone - epic.

Show quote history

I'd be telling anyone who would listen all about it, let alone DH!

Pseudonamed · 04/05/2023 18:30

I wonder if the nasty posters on here are just unhappy in their relationships? DP is away for work at the moment and he would message me during the day a good morning message, how his day is going, what he might be having for dinner, asking how my day is going and the kids and dogs etc. I would be beside myself if I did not hear from him for a very long spell because it just is not us. He is currently at the airport and I will hear from him once he has boarded and again landed and he is only an hours flight away. I don't see why worrying and caring about your partner is seen as a negative.

Softoprider · 05/05/2023 11:08

I don't see any nasty posts on here.. maybe the posts you don't like reading @Pseudonamed are 'nasty' because you don't agree as in they do not suit your own agenda perhaps.
Nothing nasty here to see only posts like yours. OP knew MN is a minefield anyway. I'm sure she is a big girl and can cope

RampantIvy · 05/05/2023 12:41

Telling someone who is really worried and anxious they are being silly and overreacting isn't exactly supportive, and as it turned out she had reason to worry.

midsomermurderess · 05/05/2023 12:47

Softoprider has the EQ of a flea.

BigButtons · 05/05/2023 15:43

Softoprider · 05/05/2023 11:08

I don't see any nasty posts on here.. maybe the posts you don't like reading @Pseudonamed are 'nasty' because you don't agree as in they do not suit your own agenda perhaps.
Nothing nasty here to see only posts like yours. OP knew MN is a minefield anyway. I'm sure she is a big girl and can cope

If you don’t think they are nasty that says an awful lot about who you are.

Leela100 · 05/05/2023 18:00

Sounds like he’s an affair and someone is covering for him to be honest 🤷🏼‍♀️

Bugbabe1970 · 05/05/2023 18:05

Isthisexpected · 04/05/2023 06:15

He's got "lucky" and a colleague is covering for him is the first thing that springs to mind. This is an elaborate tale that screams cover up to me!

Sorry but no thought this too

How has the colleague got your number?
If his phone is on charge why can't he just txt you?

proventocleanbetter · 05/05/2023 18:19

Leela100 · 05/05/2023 18:00

Sounds like he’s an affair and someone is covering for him to be honest 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh go away.

midsomermurderess · 05/05/2023 18:26

The Idiot Shift has clocked on.

ArchibaldsDaddy · 05/05/2023 18:52

That’s such a pile of bullshit..he’s definitely a having an affair.

GoodChat · 05/05/2023 19:07

ArchibaldsDaddy · 05/05/2023 18:52

That’s such a pile of bullshit..he’s definitely a having an affair.

On what basis?
If he was having an affair he wouldn't go missing for a few hours as a one off and dispose of all his belongings and come home with a new bag. That'd be an extreme cover up.

sugardonutnojam · 05/05/2023 19:09

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Itscooltobeclear · 05/05/2023 19:14

I wish I was one of the 'cool' wives 🙄 on here that wouldn't feel the need to let my husband know if my stuff was stolen.

The most useful advice on here does appear to be, to check you have used all the lace holes to shorten the tongue. 😆

Itscooltobeclear · 05/05/2023 19:15

@sugardonutnojam you've joined another thread.

sugardonutnojam · 05/05/2023 19:17

Thank you!! Long day at work!! And this was my first week back after maternity leave!!!

MNHQ
PipMumsnet · 05/05/2023 19:20

Hi @sugardonutnojam,
We have hidden your post as we think it best that you start your own thread. If you need help with that please use the report feature on this post. We would be more than happy to guide you through the process.
Best wishes,
MNHQ

sugardonutnojam · 05/05/2023 19:52

Thank you it was an error

GreeneryParsonage · 05/05/2023 20:12

Itscooltobeclear · 05/05/2023 19:14

I wish I was one of the 'cool' wives 🙄 on here that wouldn't feel the need to let my husband know if my stuff was stolen.

The most useful advice on here does appear to be, to check you have used all the lace holes to shorten the tongue. 😆

And I wish people would see how unoriginal the term “cool wives” is and stop throwing it around simply because some women have different boundaries and expectations. Doesn’t make one way right over the other and it certainly doesn’t need to result in unoriginal insults.

Mothershit · 05/05/2023 20:17

My husband and I always message each other regularly when we are apart. Neither of us is controlling, we just like each other, and it's always good to hear that the other is tucked up safe, and have an update in how it's going at the end of the day if we are miles away or in different countries. I would have been equally as worried. Sorry to hear his stuff was stolen, but good news he wasn't mugged. As for all the people saying control issues or affair... pfft.... hope you are OK OP.