To be fed up he hasn't checked in?

[itsokiwasawake]

Dh is away with work. He went early doors this morning and isn't due back until later tomorrow. I last 'spoke ' to him at 3.30pm about a class party. It's now past 1 and I've heard nothing from him. He normally texts when he's finished work, got to his room, is heading out for tea etc.
he hates being away hence the back and forth we normally do.
(FYI happily married for over ten years, been together twenty years. No issues there)
I've messaged him around 8pm telling him that me and our daughters were settling down to watch a programme that the three of us watch without him. I didn't check my phone again until late but still nothing. Checked on his 'find my' and the last check in it did was at 11.45pm.
Then i start worrying. Send a couple of where are you? Are you ok messages. Then an hour later one of his colleagues messages saying 'husband has had his stuff nicked but is back at the hotel and his phone is going on charge'
So now I'm worrying what has been stolen and also weirded out that one of his colleagues who I have never had dealings with is messaging me.
Argh. I think I'm probably just overtired.

Glad to hear he's okay. Thanks for the update.
Ps. There's loads of mardy trolls on mn, you just have to scroll past, unfortunately x

There's so much minute detail in that last update! Either you have had to grill him to get that info or he's so aware of your need to know every single aspect of his life that he's talked you through each moment of it.

To an outsider, which we all are, it doesn't seem healthy.

But OP is messaging the colleague to get her DH to ring her after he had his phone back?! See to me that is not normal.

Ah, you speak for all of mumsnet do you?
It wasn't a minute by minute account and I didn't grill him, I said I had been worried when I got the messages. He told me what had happened and we chatted back and forth for a bit. That's it. No grilling.
Some people on here are odd.

@Nordicrain but at that point I wasn't sure if he had his phone or his iPad. I was worried. You really are bothered by the interaction between me and someone he words with.

Completely disagree. Just because you have your way to be in a relationship doesn't mean it's the best or only way.

OP was presumably just covering all the questions that people would have asked or have asked. If she hadn't updated, there would have been people complaining about that too.

Whatever you do, someone is going to complain.

Glad he's okay OP. Some people on here just look for an argument. My DH rings me at lunch to say hi. He's away some Saturday nights and always checks in to say goodnight, or for a chat. I'd be like you if I hadn't heard.

I don't think your posts read like you don't trust him, just that you were worried during the night. A chat forum is a handy place to vent, while if it was during the day you could talk to a friend.

Well you got that last bit right anyway.

Anyway glad he's ok and you can stop worrying about him now.

I thought that was something of an incredibly wise and insightful metaphor for a moment then 🤣🤣🤣🤣Advice for life!

No it’s snidey people like you who never seem healthy to me.

I'm glad he's (mostly) ok OP - despite loosing his belongings.

There's a lot of strange replies on here for some reason. DH and I would also always call or message when away. It's just what we do. If a normal routine changes and you don't have a proper explanation as to why, it's perfectly normal to be concerned.

Thank you

Thanks you, twenty years of a similar routine when he goes away!
He's going to have to learn my phone number now ☺️

People saying it's not healthy to be concerned about your partner when you cant contact them 🙃 ok then.

This ⬆️
he is lying to you and has been with someone else

I think it's best not to set up the expectation of contact every few hours then no-one is disappointed or anxious or feels too closely controlled. When I go away for work I might call/text DH the next day to say what time I'll be home, the previous evening I might be in the bar or having dinner or still in my meeting and not notice any messages. Location being tracked and being called every few hours would do my head in. Give one another some space.

And the OPs DH's explanation - hmm, ok. I guess these things happen but it sounds rather convoluted.

Oh, mate. This sort of wild, baseless speculation is verging on the malicious.

MN is fucking awful sometimes. This thread has so much spite on it.

glad you’re ok op

Sorry he's been through this OP. that's really shit.
We're the same as you, when my husband goes away we check in, he lets me know when he's leaving the office/then the restaurant/back in his room/when he's on the train, plus we text random stuff in between, i'll do the same when i go away for work. We like to keep in touch.

Agree.

I wouldn’t expect much contact if DH was away for a night - but being told he was robbed and not being able to get hold of him? That would make me worry!

Did they message on his phone or their phone?

OP I'm sorry about the horrendous comments on here. I get your concern and I don't think you 'grilled' him, just that your husband told you what happened, like a normal person.
I've been with my DH for 21 years, half our lives. He is my best friend. We message throughout the day, some days one or two, some days loads, if something interesting or worrying is happening. We spend time apart for.work, or if I'm visiting family. We will speak most evenings, not all usually.
If he was robbed, I would feel it keenly. I think that is pretty normal.

I would definitely ask someone to let my partner know I was OK if I hadn't been able to contact them. They'd be worrying otherwise

Glad he's ok @itsokiwasawake - I am exactly the same as you. DH and I talk ALLLLLLL the time and if one of us went silent / we didn't know where the other one was, then we would worry. Some people don't mind if their other half drops off the face off the Earth, and good for them, but I wouldn't be able to sleep a wink if DH didn't answer my calls!