DP didn't come back

[ohfacksake]

I may be BU and I may not, I don't know, but I'm so pissed off.

DP and I are going away for the night tomorrow. We have an early start and had planned to use today to get packed and sorted so we can head out straight away in the morning.

DP needed to go to his DM's to collect a few things, and left at 10am. Said he was going to be back at 5 and then had "missed" the bus. So then he asked if he should stay at his DM's and I collect him after DC's (not his) swimming lessons, and I said no I'd rather him get the 5.30 bus so he can start with the packing and I can help finish when I got back from swimming lessons. I told him I didn't want to spend all evening doing it because I wanted to relax and get an early night ready for a long day tomorrow. He then decided he needed to see a friend so he was going to meet me at the DC's swimming lessons.

I told him he's taking the piss and that we had planned to get things done together. He's saying it is what it is. I've said I'm not doing it when I get back from swimming as I'm not stressing about that and getting the DCs into bed.

Went to swimming lessons, he didn't meet me there, I had to go and pick him up elsewhere.

We get home and have had a row because he doesn't know what he's doing with packing and sorting everything else out for tomorrow. I say he should've thought about that before staying out (he has been drinking as well, wasn't just a catch up with a cuppa. And I've been working all day as WFH and have been in meetings).

So now I've stormed out and said let's see how he likes it if I fuck off for hours on end and expect him to do everything - including putting DC to bed!

I don't think I have helped the situation by walking out, but why couldn't he have come back at a reasonable time so we could've sorted everything?

I haven't been diagnosed but I'm sure I have ADHD so struggle with some things and don't necessarily always think rationally. But I just can't calm down from feeling pissed off. I'm currently sat in my car half way down the road so he thinks I've gone out somewhere 🤦🏼‍♀️

Sorry for the long post!

But that post wasn’t just about the op. It’s was critical of every person who struggles in that way.

The post I quoted didn’t mention the children.

He’s a twat.

What?

That wasn't what I asked.

I asked if you think diagnosing yourself with ADHD is a good enough reason to leave your children with a drunk bloke you barely know.

Why did you ask me that?
It has nothing to do with my post.

If you want to debate my post which was about someone dismissing the problems that people with ADHD have because they themselves don’t struggle with that aspect of their lives, I’m happy to.

It's easy to fall back on a diagnosis nowadays

Its even harder living with a condition.

A couple of years ago I was watching a tv programme about a boy who had started to act completely out of character and had then disappeared
He was taking 30mg of the ADHD meds Vyvanse/Elvanse. Apparently that makes people off their heads on this party drug

I have adhd and take the 70mg pill and have to top up on Dexamphetamine x 2 and that just about keeps me awake during the day.

Saying it should take you no more than 15 minutes to make a sandwich is really Nt understanding how ADHD affects someone.

Yes it takes 15 minutes of dedicated time to make a sandwich but whilst you are making it someone with ADHD will forget about the sandwich and do other things that really need doing at that moment in time.

Those 2 pieces of bread will go stale by the time they have remembered the sandwich needs making. They went to the fridge to get the cheese out and having turned away from the bread it is out of site out of mind. It could take all day to make 1 sandwich .

Try living your life constantly tuned into 1000s of radios all are on different channels all at full volume from the moment you wake up to the moment you get so exhausted you fall asleep

Telling someone with ADHD to be more organised.🤣🤣🤣

Haven’t heard that one before.

Last time I packed for myself to go away for 10 days I packed a pair of trainers, a summer dress, a pair of shorts and a swimming costume

No underwear no t shirts to go with the shorts

I had on a summer dress and was wearing flip flops

Packing is so simple, you just grab some random items and put them in a bag. What’s the worse that can happen. You realise how freeing it is to go commando. Or you get out to your destination and find that it is having freak freezing weather conditions.

The op has certainly done a spectacular job of making everyone focus on her self-diagnosed condition, rather than the shitty way she treats her children and her boyfriend.

I actually don't think you are being unreasonable at all. It's called weaponised incompetence.
There is actually alot for you to organise and sort out and he said he would help. Instead he has caused you more stress. I wouldn't put up with it.

I'm also going through ADHD assessment, and I understand how you feel. It's not necessarily the issue (packing) but everything else around it that is setting you off. I need to get things done, and if something goes wrong or is out of control I lose it. I think you can see how it could have gone differently, but also understand that some of us will get why you reacted like you did. I hope you had a nice night away, and maybe it would be good to go to your GP to start the process - it's been helpful to understand why I behave as I do, and how to control some of those triggers and symptoms

YABU