Husband won't swim on holiday

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I have been with my husband for many years and most years we have gone on a holiday abroad with my family. The holiday revolves around food and drink and being in the pool. My husband doesn't drink, is quite fussy with food and doesn't ever go in the pool. None of this has ever been a particular problem and we all co-exist pretty well on holiday. It's definitely not my husbands favourite thing but he does enjoy elements of it.
We have since had a child who came on this abroad holiday with us for the first time last year. Being a typical 2 year old, she wanted to spend the whole time in the pool so it meant that I had to be in there with her for the whole holiday. Obviously we had a great time but it did put a big burden on me as I didn't feel able to leave her in the care of any of my family for any length of time as they are either young or irresponsible!
Fast forward to this year, I have spoken with my husband to see if he would feel comfortable going in the pool this year to share the responsibility (and fun!) But he has said no as he struggles with his body image (he has no reason to at all in my eyes but I know that's not the point!)
I'm also due on my period while we are away and since having my daughter they have been incredibly heavy so it does put me off being in the pool all day.
AIBU to expect my husband to come in the pool this year?
Probably worth saying that he would take her for walks etc but she just doesn't want to be away from the pool!
It's also a private pool so only us and my family would be in it.

My husband won't entertain the notion of travelling to France because of the no loose shorts thing. But he will swim in other countries (thankfully). I suggest you find a local playground or other toddler entertaining area and he spends an hour or two each day with your toddler making use of that.

Total waste of a pool on his part but i love swimming, is there a fear of the water or is entirely self image?

Yabu to have annual holidays with your family when he doesn't enjoy them. That’s a lot.

But of course he should be pulling his weight. Of course a child is going to want to be in the pool on a pool holiday. He doesnt het to just say no to bits of parenting he doesnt like. That’s incredibly selfish.

T-shirt and shorts in the kids end of the pool or beach paddling.

Your holiday sounds great to me but clearly ticks very few boxes for your husband, so seriously I think he deserves a lot of credit for going with it every year full stop.

I'm usually the first to call out men who aren't pulling their parenting weight but he's already using up his holiday time and budget to go on a holiday that doesn't appeal to him, and you want to make it even less appealing.

I do get that from your POV it massively increases the responsibility and hassle for you; it makes the holiday much less relaxing for you. Ideally he'd agree to take a shift or two in the pool... but it sounds like he's already comprised quite a lot by going every year. So I do think you need to temper how hard you push on this one, given it's already a holiday that feels focused around other people's preferences, rather than his.

Fgs sake what's wrong with chilling out with your kids in a pool?
You don't even have to swim. Just mess around the kids. Create some fun.
He's probably no fun and this is the real problem.

This

I think he needs to suck it up for his daughter to be honest.

Why do you go on pool type holidays if he hates them? Could you find something you both enjoy? City trips?

my DH hates being in the pool and we rarely did this type of holiday

Is there a beach or park nearby? Perhaps a compromise mighe be DH could have some time with your DD on the beach instead. I think its far easier to stay in t shirts and shorts on the beach than it is swimwear. He can take the lead on those days and then you take the lead on pool days.

I have no hesitation shoving my swimming costume on and jumping in the pool with my DC, despite being overweight and self conscious. It would be a totally different matter in front of my DH's family.

This! I loathe swimming. Dc go into the water when dh is there. They know I won't. He's happy to do walks and other stuff, so do that as well. Child doesnt need to be in the pool all the time, you can say no!

Definitely this!

Regardless of what you think, if he's not physically comfortable with it, he's not physically comfortable with it.

The holiday sounds like my idea of hell and tbh I'm similar to your husband! I wouldn't care who it was in front of, I'd feel like crap and it would totally ruin my week to be told to put on a wetsuit and get over it.

Why do you keep going on holidays with so many aspects he doesn't enjoy? Have you ever asked him about the type of holiday he would like to go on? It sounds like he puts up with it all just to make you happy.

As for your child, you need to get better at saying no and not letting her dictate the holiday. You can take her in the pool for an hour or two a day and then he can keep her entertained for an hour or two. That way both of you get downtime.

If a woman posted on here saying she had body image issues and wasn't comfortable getting in the pool, but her DH was trying to push her into it, the responses would be very different, very few would be telling her to just get over it/no one is looking etc!

What is with all these people with "body image" issues that prevent them from going swimming in normal swimwear? Surely he can see that just about everyone else there has a non perfect body?

I was in his side until you said it's a private pool just for your family, now I think YANBU

Yes, how selfish not wanting to do what his wife wants to do but he dislikes year after year. He doesn’t like it. It’s selfish of OP to insist they keep doing it. Find something everyone likes.
And you can dislike pool holidays without being ‘a boring old fart’.

Why? Not everything has to revolve around children. If she gets an hour or two in the water a day, why does she need to be in unlimited time?

I would be annoyed as well, OP. I struggle with my body image but that is because objectively I am disfigured. Yet I have never let my child see that, have always worn the swimming costume and gone in the water. Women in groups for my disease are all overcoming their fears because their children are important enough to motivate them. Saying "It's my body image" is not a get out of gaol free card. Time to adult up. Either push through or get some help.

Do you ever go on holiday without your family?

He's already been doing a holiday annually that he really doesn't like and now you want him to engage more in that. As pp's have said, my vote is that you find a holiday you might both enjoy more with your child.

Why are you still going on these types of holidays when its not his thing. As if holidays arent precious enough, I wouldnt tolerate doing a holiday where I only like 'some' of it and barely tolerate the rest, awful. I simply wouldnt go.

Poor bloke

I agree.

He goes along with a holiday that isn't his cup of tea every year.

I don't think he should have to swim if he doesn't want to.

My husband would hate that too. As he's coming on the holiday that he doesn't like without complaint I wouldn't push the pool, but I would say he has to give you a break and look after his child. If he doesn't want to go in the pool he needs to make sandcastles or ride a bike or something else instead. Or maybe he does an extended bed and bath time so you can sit outside with a cocktail and a book.

You don't have to actually swim
How people can.not even want to dip in the pool when.its hot is beyond me.

I'd hate it. YABU, OP. But then this isn't the only thread going about holiday issues.